Navigating Anger During Tumultuous Times

Last week, I received 2 emails within minutes of each other. One was a daily alert from the American Medical Association sharing stunning data on the effect of anger on the heart. Previous studies have identified a link between anger and an increased risk of heart attacks and strokes. The present study sought to determine why that is. Researchers asked participants to recall an event that had provoked their anger and recorded multiple measurements of heart function. They revealed that short bursts of anger damage the arteries ability to dilate or open up. They write,

“compared to the emotionally neutral group, people who recalled memories that provoked anger saw a diminished ability of their blood vessels to dilate, which was cut by more than half. This stiffening of blood vessels over time will lead to heart attacks and strokes.”

The second email was an article by Arthur Brooks titled, Why a bit of restraint can do you a lot of good, in which Brooks revealed that despite our greater shows of anger on social media and otherwise, we were not happier for it, in fact we were more unhappy as a result.

How timely, no? As the world and our campuses seem to be teeming with anger, it got me thinking, how can we navigate anger in a way that does not negatively impact our physical health, our mental and emotional health or the health of our relationships while also not denying ourselves the validity of our feelings? And thought perhaps during these tumultuous times, you might be asking yourself the very same thing.

As many of you know, I come from a Middle Eastern family. And Middle Eastern folk, can we say, are passionate? We are loud in how we talk. We are loud in how we feel. And we express those feelings in loud, in-your-face sort of ways. Despite this knowing, I grew up being afraid of anger, and even to this day, when I'm met with anger, I freeze.

But we are taught that no feelings are bad, that we must welcome our feelings, even the presumably negative ones, because they're all there for a reason. And when used effectively, negative emotions can bring about important and constructive change in our relationships, in our work, in the way that we live and in the world at large. So the question is how, how can we use our anger as a constructive force for positive change?

I outline my thoughts and my approach to anger (aspirational as they may be) in this week’s HealthBite podcast. You can listen to the full episode with all the details in less than 20 minutes, here.

1. Anger is a necessary emotion, and suppressing our anger will harm us, mind and body.
2. Suppression of this or any of our feelings for that matter makes us more likely to soothe with smoking, drinking, overworking and yes with food.
3. Pause is essential to navigating anger in a constructive and meaningful way
4. Bring awareness to the emotion. It's as easy as saying, “I feel angry.”
5. Notice where you feel anger in your body. Name it. Doing so will limit the charge and reactivity around the emotion so that you can be more thoughtful about how to use it.
6. Take the steps to process your anger properly. Here is where mindbody practices come into play. Some strategies include: shaking/movement, journaling, nature therapy, or other self regulating tools that I share on the podcast. (BTW, the pod has many episodes on mindbody practices, so feel free to scroll back)
7. Once you have managed your inclination to react, ask yourself, how can I use this feeling for my greater good, for the greater good of my relationships or my workplace? Remember that anger can be a signal that something is not right and when used properly can bring about meaningful change that has a positive impact not only in your life but in the life of others.

I wonder, what if we all followed this primer for anger? Perhaps we would better inform our friends and loved ones of how we wished to be treated creating mutually fulfilling relationships. Perhaps, we would find ways to create more meaning and purpose in our work. Perhaps we could have dialogue about complicated social and political and international issues that would acknowledge the feelings, desires and struggles of all parties involved making us one step closer to resolution. Perhaps we would not be on the brink of so much hate, divisiveness and vitriol that only undermines the safety, connection and humanity that we all desire deep in our hearts.

I can only pray that this can be true.

I know personally and professionally that we are living in difficult times and it is my intention to help you (and myself) navigate them with love understanding and compassion. If you think this newsletter is of benefit, pass it along and share with your friends and loved ones.

I will be back in your inbox next week.

Until then, I am wishing you good health, mind and body.