Naughty Forty!

Today’s Newsletter about our 40’s; more or less on Naughty Forty! When we reach the age of 40’s, that is where you encounter mid-life ‘crisis’, there is a chemical transformation taking place in our bodies, and I have read many articles on these physical changes due effects of hormones in our system. These affect our mental status too; and it happen to me too! Thus, I take pleasure on writing and sharing on how to study about them. For those who yet to reach 40’s, it is to get ready, be aware and be prepared mentally, physically, and professionally whilst for those who crossed 40’s to retrospectively think about it! Be it a misadventure or bad time or even the best time you have had!

One of the best sources of studying the naughty forties are the movies and Shall We Dance (2004) remain high in my recommended list of movies for you to watch. As a corporate figure how, husband (Richard Gere) feels ‘missing’ something in his daily bored-routine lifestyle till he falls into dancing; and even that under a beautiful dance instructor. His behavioural change is immediately get noticed by wife and suspecting an extra-marital affair, the wife (Susan Sarandon) hires a private detective to spy on her husband. It is a beautiful illustration of the changes takes place in our lifestyles and why broad understanding and empathy is needed to keep the marriage life going on. Please watch this movie with your partner even you have seen it before!

On the songs, I could not think anything better than the duet You don’t Bring me Flowers (by Barbra Streisand? and Neil Diamond) and please watch YouTube link ?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450Unsb5BCw for the magical performances by both in the Grammy Awards 1980. Please follow the lyrics and see how applicable those wording to your feelings! Although you will find many versions of this song, this is the version I like most due to sense of romance both bring to the stage when singing!

I have encountered several partnerships that went into doldrums of Naughty Forty and was able to understand the issues because I was aware of those changes. I advised many of these partnerships to navigate the difficult times, but I must confess that not all make it through! At or around forty years of age our life goes through this cycle, and I must caution that alcohol and extra-relations does not solve the issues.

And for me, as I crossed and sailed in to 40’s, in 2007 onwards, retrospectively I think I am a lucky guy as on-going conflicts kept me busy and engaged. There was a task to achieve, and I was committed to achieve it, and whole of Navy depended on me to do my part. That prevented me to float and loiter in my ‘missingness’ whilst I experienced the effect through my batchmates, close family friends and especially through my subordinates. To cross this Naughty Forties, both partners need very good understanding and must be void of any ‘suspicion’ of each other, this needs more closer physical interaction and loving warmth. I suggest you take up dancing as I feel it is a good engagement practice.

Speaking on dancing, why not enjoy the Anne Murray’s song on link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezCpOy5rRKM to feel the words and urge to hold your partner! If all went to a situation where separation appears to be the only solution, I want you to listen carefully to the Daniel Boon’s song Daddy don’t you walk so fast on link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVIutQbzetY But even it seems to be the ONLY way out, I still recommend to give some time for time to solve your problems and issues! For those who sailed past their Naughty Forty, steer ahead and enjoy the life and those who yet to enter Naughty Forty, be ready for your version of mid-life crisis! If you are ready for it along with your partner, it is a crisis you both cherish in your life ahead! Enjoy those songs!