Natural responses
Kiran Simhadri
Sr. Director Of Technology at Elevance Health & Faculty at Stanford University
Happy Friday!
Welcome to this week's edition of "Natural Responses"!
Let me start with good news - my daughter passed the behind-the-wheel driving test and is now officially a licensed driver.?:) I wish I had taken a picture of the glee in her face when she was walking out of the car after the test. Now that she is in such a good mood, I used the opportunity to teach her something. We discussed about her attitude when she did not pass the exam the first time, a month ago. I thought it is worth sharing with you.?
I take liberties to assert that there is not a single soul on earth who would say they aren’t stressed in life. Stress is both a physical and mental response to a situation. The situation can be a change or a challenge to your normalcy. I also like to point out that stress is not all that bad, if handled properly, as it keeps us alert and motivates us to act. Right from the stone age, we are pre-wired with a Fight or Flight response system when faced with an uncomfortable, challenging or a dangerous situation. However, over time medical research has amended the natural responses to include Freeze and Fawn as well.
I would like to share my perspective on how we can use this natural response mechanism to navigate workplace challenges effectively.
You are in a group meeting and are called out for a missed deliverable. The most immediate reaction, if you have an explanation for the miss, is to challenge it. As you are put on the spot in front of an audience, one of the natural responses of your body is an emotional outrage, intense anger, and tightened facial muscles.?– Fight.
Recognize the changes in your physical body, take a pause, and let the emotion sync in. You can then channel that intensity towards offering a factual response than an emotional reaction.?–?Handle with poise.
You are asked to work on a critical assignment. The due date is coming up and you are nowhere closer to completing it on time. For the fear of refutation, you choose not to discuss the challenge, but it keeps building up stress in your body. When the due date arrives, and you are not done the stress reaches its peak where you feel trapped, helpless, and just call in sick.?– Flight.
Pay attention to the feelings and before the restlessness consumes you fully and debilitates, ask for help.?You will be greatly surprised to see how many folks will come forward to help?when you ask for it.??–?Handle with integrity.
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Your boss summoned you to urgently join a call with him. You get tense and try to join the call with your mind racing with thousand thoughts. Your body will be preparing you for a fight or flight response. As you enter the call, there are a ton of people cheering and offering you congratulations on your well-deserved promotion.?–? Freeze.?
Scientifically, in a Fight or Flight situation your body creates an adrenaline rush that propels you to act with a sense of urgency. Whereas a freeze is a defensive mechanism to a perceived stressor. Investment of time and effort in building trusted relations to handle sudden surprises can ease your stress levels. –?Handle with grace.
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Your team is planning to go to team lunch, and your manager suggested a place. When asked for team’s opinion, you did not say anything even though you hate that place. You do not want to be seen as not a team player. Confirmation bias kicks in and you remain silent and go along later repenting it.?–? Fawn.?
This is something most will fall victim of, more frequently than you think. You can tolerate it once or may be twice, but unless you deal with it, this can create a lot of unwanted stress and can make your life miserable.?–?Handle with confidence.
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Let me wrap it up with this beautiful quote by a famous psychiatrist, Viktor E. Frankl: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
I invite you to share your coping mechanism when faced with Fight or Flight situations.??
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay blessed. Thank you and have a wonderful weekend.
Vice President Of Engineering @ Rain | Engineering Leadership
1 年Great post Kiran Simhadri. One of the technique that helped me a lot was to premeditate and play out the sequences in cases of tough meetings, one-one, crucial conversations, challenging assignments to an outcome that you can face , almost like a dream where the story unfolds with almost real characters ( it could be a desirable outcome for us, or a tough one but we kind of already prepared ) . very often like you pointed out in one example the universe always helps
Senior content creator in developer platforms for healthcare
1 年Wonderful post Kiran Simhadri, but I would add an important addendum: Stress as a source of energy and excitement! Sometimes our greatest thrills come from meeting a challenge, but to do so, you probably shouldn't start with flight/fight/freeze/fawn, but rather with delight. I have faced challenges that seemed overwhelming, but by seeing them as adventures I was better able to find solutions; I'm sure everyone has those tales to share. One benefit of sports is teaching young people the lessons of competition, preparation, effort and self confidence. It can happen in a 90-minute game or contest; the lessons are instant and often brutal, but the moment passes and a week later, you try again. Sports are a great training arena for how to manage both stress and opportunity throughout your life; you learn who you are very quickly.