Narcissistic Behaviour in the Office

These scenarios illuminate the complex dynamics and challenges of working under a pathologically narcissistic Boss. They highlight the importance of maintaining professional integrity, seeking supportive networks, and, when necessary, prioritizing one's well-being and career progression beyond toxic leadership environments.

The purpose of this article is as a reminder for us to Not exercise any of these behaviour, because nobody would respect us in the office.

1. Penalizing the Employee

• Unreal Expectations: Deliver a year's work in a month, and when you miraculously come close, get asked why it wasn't done in a week.
• Unclear Direction: Hit your KPIs only to be told those weren't the "real" goals. The real goals? A mystery to be revealed at the next performance review.
• The Overachiever's Dilemma: Excel in your role and instead of a reward, get burdened with the workload of three because you're "so good at what you do."
• Feedback Fiasco: Receive criticism for not participating enough in meetings. Speak up in the next one and get labeled aggressive.
• Success Penalty: Your successful project becomes a benchmark, setting unrealistic standards for all your future work.

2. The Blame Game

• The Disappearing Act: Lead a project to success under the Boss's vague guidance, but when it fails, suddenly it's your project, your plan, your fault.
• The Revisionist: The Boss denies ever giving the disastrous advice you followed, suggesting you misunderstood their clear instructions.
• The Firewall: Every problem from customers or clients hits the Boss's firewall and gets redirected to you, regardless of responsibility.
• The Untouchable: Any failure in your department is a direct result of your mismanagement, never the unrealistic expectations set from above.
• Proxy Problems: Issues arising from decisions made by the Boss are diplomatically redirected as team failures, never tracing back to the source.

3. Gaslighting Galore

• The Forgotten Conversation: Insist on following the Boss's direct orders, only for them to deny such a conversation ever took place.
• The Public vs. Private: Get praised in private for initiative, then publicly reprimanded for stepping out of line.
• The Phantom Problem: Be accused of causing an issue that mysteriously never existed before the Boss needed a scapegoat.
• The Strategy Shuffle: Be told to focus on strategy A, then questioned on your lack of progress on strategy B, which was apparently the priority all along.
• The Priority Prism: Your priorities, aligned with last week's directives, are now obsolete and apparently indicative of your inability to prioritize.

4. The Budget Tightrope

• The Lavish Facade: Exorbitant spending on aesthetics or personal comfort for the Boss while essential tools and team budgets are cut for "efficiency."
• The Cost-Cutting Champion: Initiatives for cost-saving are championed until they inconvenience the Boss, at which point budgets are miraculously found.
• The Penny-Pinching Paradox: Every department is on a strict budget except for the Boss's pet projects, which apparently have unlimited funds.
• The Resource Rationing: Requests for necessary resources are denied due to budget constraints, yet the company somehow affords lavish executive retreats.
• The Financial Juggling Act: Funds are shuffled from crucial projects to cover the Boss's latest whims, leaving teams scrambling to cover gaps.

5. Credit Heist

• The Spotlight Stealer: Your work receives acclaim in a client meeting; the Boss later recounts their role in "guiding" you to success.
• The Idea Incubator: Propose an innovative solution in a meeting, which the Boss dismissively ignores, only to present it as their own later.
• The Team Effort Erasure: A project's success is a "result of strong leadership" in public announcements, glossing over who actually did the work.
• The Silent Contributor: Work tirelessly behind the scenes on a successful initiative, only for the Bossto be the sole representative in all accolades.
• The Narrative Ninja: The Boss has a knack for rewriting the narrative of any success to place themselves at the center, regardless of their actual involvement.

6. The Invisible Workload

• The After-Hours Expectation: Your evenings and weekends are assumed to be available for work, without acknowledgment or compensation.
• The "Just Another Small Task": Small tasks are frequently added to your plate, each portrayed as minimal effort, cumulatively creating a second full-time job.
• The Unseen Hero: Essential but unglamorous tasks that keep projects afloat fall to you, unnoticed and unappreciated by the Boss.
• The Thankless Role: Playing a crucial part in crisis resolution, only for the resolution to be attributed to "swift leadership action."
• The Silent Burden: Bearing the brunt of the Boss's unrealistic expectations and dealing with the fallout, all while maintaining team morale, a feat that goes unrecognised.

7. Feedback Black Hole

• The Evasive Critique: Seeking specific feedback yields vague comments that leave you guessing what to improve.
• The Negative Spotlight: Feedback, when given, focuses solely on negatives or perceived failures, never on how to improve or succeed.
• The One-Way Street: The Boss demands constant updates and progress reports but offers no constructive feedback or guidance in return.
• The Dismissive Wave: Attempts to discuss feedback or seek clarification are brushed off with a "just figure it out" attitude.
• The Ghost Feedback: Hearing secondhand that the Boss has "feedback" for you, but direct attempts to obtain it result in evasive non-answers.

8. The Scapegoat Scenario

• The Convenient Fault: Any operational hiccup, regardless of the cause, is traced back to your doorstep as a failure in execution.
• The Misdirected Anger: Frustrations with external pressures or failures are redirected at you or your team, irrespective of actual responsibility.
• The Project Poisoning: A project set up for failure by the Boss's unrealistic demands becomes a testament to your "incompetence."
• The Collateral Damage: When broader company strategies fail, individual departments or projects are singled out as the weak links.
• The Unwinnable War: Engaging in projects you advised against, only for their inevitable difficulties to be labeled as your lack of commitment or skill.

9. The Urgency Illusion

• The Crisis Creation: Non-urgent tasks are framed as emergencies, creating a perpetual state of panic and overwork.
• The Priority Confusion: Today's urgent directive contradicts yesterday's, leaving you to navigate the priority maze.
• The Last-Minute Madness: Regularly receiving tasks with impossible deadlines, set so due to poor planning or whims.
• The Firefighting Mode: Being pushed into constant firefighting mode for problems that could have been avoided with strategic foresight.
• The Deadline Dance: Arbitrary deadlines are set without rationale, often moved up on a whim, undermining careful planning.

10. The Hypocrisy Highlight Reel

• The Work-Life Balance Myth: Preaching the importance of work-life balance while sending late-night emails expecting immediate action.
• The Transparency Talk: Calls for openness and honesty are one-sided, with the Boss remaining opaque about company directions and decisions.
• The Value Veneer: Company values are touted in speeches but conspicuously absent in the Boss's decisions and treatment of staff.
• The Accountability Avoidance: While demanding accountability from everyone else, the Boss deflects any personal accountability when things go awry.
• The Culture Clash: Cultivating a culture of respect and innovation is vocalized, yet the Boss's actions foster a culture of fear and stagnation.

These expanded scenarios offer a candid, albeit sarcastically tinted, glimpse into the challenges of navigating leadership dynamics under a narcissistic Boss. They underscore the importance of resilience, clear communication, and sometimes, strategic career planning to thrive in such environments.

Up Next, is the Good, Bad, Ugly and Great way to navigate these situations.