The Narcissist - My Leader?

By definition, a narcissist is a person who believes the world revolves around them to such an extent that their own desires ‘blind them’ to relational reality.

This can make them insensitive to the needs and perspectives of others, particularly in the workplace.

One of the sad realities of today’s consumer-driven, hi-tech world is that the number of narcissistic people appears to be on the rise - and this includes leaders of large organisations. 

Of course, being a narcissist can also have its positive side.

For example, a charismatic leader may share some traits of narcissism - but they are not exploitive and don’t trample on others to get what they want.

As the old saying goes: ‘To be forewarned is to be forearmed’ so, in the interests of a healthier and happier work environment, here are some of the most obvious warning signs that you are working with a narcissistic leader:

1. An unwillingness to hear feedback

The narcissistic leader is not an open person - and listening to feedback is not on their agenda. They usually assume any feedback they receive is based on either jealousy or simple contrariness - and will therefore most likely dismiss your opinion - before even giving it proper consideration. With a narcissistic boss it is usually best to avoid confrontations. However, if you do have something important to say, express it in a way that invites the narcissist to believe they still have the upper hand.

2. Lack of empathy

While they crave empathy and understanding from others - narcissists themselves are not the most empathetic of people. Indeed, some of the most charismatic and successful narcissists project very little empathy –(the recently-elected US President springing to mind). However, this lack of empathy can actually be a strength in times of chaos and radical change - because narcissists do not get ‘bogged down’ by the feelings, emotions and demands of their employees.

3. Competitive

The narcissistic leader is ruthlessly competitive and relentless in their pursuit of victory. They take their work (and play) very seriously – viewing them as a test of their strength and survival skills. And since many narcissists do not have a conscience - they are quite comfortable doing ‘whatever it takes’ to win.

4. High achievers

On a more positive level, the narcissistic leader understands the importance of having a vision, seeing ‘the bigger picture’, and being able to turn that vision into reality. However, they also have a strong need to be admired, as they believe they are special - and a unique ability to ‘conquer the world’. They also consider themselves better than anyone else and are totally self-centred - to the detriment of anyone else.

5. ‘It’s all about me’

Narcissists are extremely sensitive to harsh criticism and can be extremely abrasive with those who disagree with them, or voice a negative opinion. To the narcissist, everybody is a critic on some level - with they themselves the harshest critics of all. As a result, if you don’t do things exactly the way your narcissistic boss wants them done; you will certainly hear about it.

Narcissists who are focused on their own power are usually extremely insecure. Don't allow your self-worth to depend on anyone else's or get caught up in the narcissist's world of entitlement and ego. Stay clear of their path as much as possible -- and when you can't, at least keep them out of your head!