Names are models

How you name something can change the mental model of your listener. This newsletter first appeared on the Duha One substack.

Leadership Moment: A Bedroom, or a Dorm Room?

A weekend ago, I had the sad joy of dropping our eldest off at college. As we helped put together all of the furnishings and accessories to make it feel like home, the residence advisor (among many others!) kept checking in on us, making sure we were all set. Since this would be the closest near-adult to our child, I signed and gave her a copy of 1% Leadership. She was grateful, and said, “Let me go put this in my bedroom.”

Not “dorm room.” Not “apartment.” Rather than words that convey since of a private space separated from the community, she chose a word that conveyed a private space within a community. As a parent, I felt like this RA would be living with my grown child, rather than near my grown child — and I instantly felt more relaxed and comfortable.

The words we choose can completely change the mental model of our listeners.

Appearances

Recent

Aug 19, CISO Series Podcast: I Said I Was Technically a CISO, Not a Technical CISO

Aug 26, VC Wire: Interview with Partner Andy Ellis

Aug 27, CISO Series Podcast: Well, I Think My Relationship With the CIO Improved When I Took Their Job

Aug 28: HOU.SEC.CAST: Learn something New Today

Sep 3, CSO Online Oped: Cloud providers must own up to their part in the current state of insecurity

Upcoming

Sep 12: ASPM Book Roadshow (Boston, MA)

Sep 19: YLV Breakfast Club (NYC)

Sep 24: HOU.SEC.CON

One Minute Pro Tip: Think Twice

Have you ever been in an argument with someone, where you find yourself repeating yourself, because it doesn’t seem like they’re responding to what you’re saying? And they’re just repeating themself, because their argument didn’t hold water the first time you refuted it? When the argument is over, you’re convinced that the other person is so deeply entrenched in their (wrong) point of view that they can’t possibly hear a different opinion.

They probably think the same thing.

Once you repeat yourself in a conversation, or hear someone else do so, step back for a minute. Ask yourself if the words that are being said might have a different meaning to the listener as they do to the speaker. You might find that rephrasing to use very different words – with ostensible similar meaning – can open up the bottleneck in the conversation. It’s even possible that the people in strong disagreement only disagree about the word choice and its implications, but agree on the fundamental issues.

This newsletter first appeared on the Duha One substack.