Name it to Tame it

Today we understand the second approach “The "Name it to Tame it" approach by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson”. It is a powerful strategy for helping children manage their emotions by identifying and labelling them. This technique is rooted in the idea that naming emotions can help children gain control over their feelings, which can be overwhelming and confusing. Here are some typical scenarios and approaches where parents and teachers can apply this principle with children:

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Scenario 1: A Child Having a Meltdown

Example:

A 4-year-old child is having a meltdown because they can't have a toy they want in the store.

Approach:

Get Down to Their Level: Physically get down to the child’s level to make eye contact.

Empathize and Validate: "I see that you’re really upset because you really wanted that toy."

Name the Emotion: "It looks like you're feeling really frustrated and disappointed right now."

Offer Comfort: "It's okay to feel frustrated. I'm here with you."

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Scenario 2: Anxiety Before a Test

Example:

A 10-year-old student is feeling anxious about an upcoming math test.

Approach:

Acknowledge the Feeling: "I can see that you're feeling nervous about your math test."

Name the Emotion: "It sounds like you're feeling anxious and maybe even a little scared."

Provide Support: "It's normal to feel this way before a test. Let's take some deep breaths together and review some of the problems you know how to solve."

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Scenario 3: Conflict with a Friend

Example:

An 8-year-old child is upset after an argument with a friend at school.

Approach:

Listen Actively: "Tell me what happened with your friend."

Reflect and Name the Emotions: "It sounds like you’re feeling hurt and angry because your friend said something mean."

Validate and Reassure: "It's understandable to feel hurt when someone you care about says something unkind. It's okay to feel sad and mad."

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Scenario 4: Overwhelmed by Homework

Example:

A 12-year-old student feels overwhelmed by the amount of homework they have.

Approach:

Observe and Describe: "I notice you seem really stressed out about your homework."

Name the Emotion: "Are you feeling overwhelmed and maybe even a bit anxious?"

Problem-Solve Together: "Let's break down your homework into smaller parts and tackle them one at a time. We can make a plan to help you manage it."

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Scenario 5: Disappointment from Losing a Game

Example:

A 6-year-old child is crying after losing a board game.

Approach:

Acknowledge the Experience: "I saw that you lost the game and now you’re crying."

Name the Emotion: "It seems like you’re feeling really disappointed and sad."

Empathize and Encourage: "Losing can be really hard, especially when you tried your best. It's okay to feel sad. What do you think we can do to make it better next time?"

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Scenario 6: Fear of the Dark

Example:

A 7-year-old child is afraid to go to bed because of fear of the dark.

Approach:

Recognize and Validate: "I understand that you're feeling scared of the dark right now."

Name the Emotion: "It sounds like you're feeling really scared."

Provide Comfort and Solutions: "It's normal to feel scared sometimes. Let's turn on a night light and maybe read a comforting story together."

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Scenario 7: Frustration with a Difficult Task

Example:

A 9-year-old child is frustrated because they can't solve a puzzle.

Approach:

Notice and Describe: "I see you're having a hard time with the puzzle and it looks like you’re getting upset."

Name the Emotion: "Are you feeling frustrated because the puzzle is really challenging?"

Support and Encourage: "It's okay to feel frustrated. Let's take a break and come back to it later. Sometimes our brains need a little rest."

By consistently applying the "Name it to Tame it" approach, parents and teachers can help children develop emotional intelligence, build resilience, and learn effective ways to cope with their feelings.

I hope these life changing tools are proving beneficial to you. Please practice them with your child and share your experiences. Remember it will take time several attempts before you get it right. Tomorrow I will be back with another approach. Stay tuned it till then.....

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