The name of the game - how JRR Tolkien defeated George RR Martin

I love George RR Martin's writings. The 'A Song of Ice and Fire' epic fantasy series (which forms the basis for the hit HBO series 'The Game of Thrones') counts among the best in the business, comparing favorably to John RR Tolkien's own magnum opus - The Lord of the Rings.

But Prof. Tolkien leaves ol' George completely on the dusty jousting floor when it comes to one aspect of their writing.

Names.

Consider the simple case of naming of famous swords. Tolkien's king-in-waiting, Aragorn, wields the 'sword-that-was-broken' (but, of course, was remade for the book series), that he pulls out (it seems) at every chance when confronted with enemies or just to prove his kingly lineage: Andúril. Tolkien waxes eloquent in the book:

"Very bright was that sword when it was made whole again; the light of the sun shone redly in it, and the light of the moon shone cold, and its edge was hard and keen. And Aragorn gave it a new name and called it Andúril, Flame of the West."

No wonder then, that it was adopted by Anduril Industries, a defense product company that builds technology for military agencies and border surveillance. In less time than it took Aragorn to defeat Mordor's hosts, Anduril achieved unicorn status (the only private company in the defense sector other than SpaceX to get there), and has bagged contracts from the US government for hundreds of millions of dollars. By late 2022, Anduril raised a king's ransom-worthy $1.5B, at a valuation of $8.5B, which increased the California-based company valuation by over $4B in less than 2 years.

Flame of the West, indeed.

GRRM, not to be left behind in the 'make heroic weapons' game, created the ancestral two-handed greatsword of House Stark, made of mythical Valyrian steel, "spell-forged and dark as smoke", a weapon as deadly as it was beautiful, ready to be used on humans and the superhuman White Walkers. It's name?

Ice.

For shame, George! How are companies supposed to use that for marketing purposes?

And when Ice was melted down to create two separate smaller swords, one felt that maybe that dull, unimaginative, jejune name that left marketers cold (get it?) was just the backdrop, sort of a teaser, and George will deliver the goods with the new ones. After all, one of the two went to Jaime Lannister, possibly the greatest swordsman of his generation, and the other to the newly minted king, Joffrey. The names of these illustrious swords?

Oathkeeper and Widow's Wail.

Seriously, George? What were you smoking?

Tolkien, of course, had other great names at the ready for weapons: Gandalf's sword Glamdring, Eomer's sword Guthwine, Herugrim of King Theoden: exotic sounding single-word names, just ready for adoption for a variety of companies and products.

And the name calling did not stop with the weapons.

In a beautiful example of art presaging life (or at least technology), Tolkien describes the Palantir, sort of a portable video-conferencing desktop tool that looks a bit like Amazon's echo dot: spherical objects used for communication and intelligence gathering.

Is it to be wondered that the name was snapped up by a software company that develops big data analytics for advance intelligence generation? Palantir Technologies first made a name for itself among government agencies for its counter-terrorism analytical platform before expanding beyond government contracts to provide data mining and business analytics services for commercial enterprises. The company's stock price has soared 167% in 2023, and more than 50% this year alone (as of early March). With a current market cap north of $50B, it is expected to join the pantheon of S&P 500 companies this year.

I have no doubt at all that it's all because of the great name, courtesy Tolkien.

GRRM does describe a system where the 'children of the forest' - and later Brandon Stark - used 'weirwood' trees with faces curved into them to see into other places and times.

The less said about the corporate naming possibilities of these 'heart trees', the better.

And then there's Athelas, a healing herb described by Tolkien, that grows throughout the Middle Earth. It offered instant return to health to many men and hobbits, and naming options to healthcare companies.

Athelas, launched in 2016, develops software and sensor products to improve healthcare and has focused on small and medium-sized healthcare practices. By 2022, it had reached unicorn status (what else?) and, late last year, announced plans to merge with Commure, a leading provider of enterprise healthcare software, with plans to achieve a whopping $6B valuation.

I tell you: it was the name that did it!

And what does the Game of Thrones universe offer? Martin decides that the best way to revive fallen heroes (like Beric Dondarrion) is.. using magical fire. Well, 'Fire' is not very helpful to sell visions of advanced health tech (although it does sell spicy snacks). Martin does his best to rectify this grievous error by creating an exotic sounding fire god with a new name.

Unfortunately, all he comes up with is.. R'hllor.

Ugh! Even the characters in his books cannot pronounce it properly .. let alone us mere mortals.

But, while we have given up hope of ever seeing the rest of the books in the series ever being published, maybe all marketing hope is not yet lost for George. Lurking inside his books are potent possibilities for naming that are just waiting to be discovered by enterprising entrepreneurs looking for that ideal appellation that will launch them (and their companies) into unicorn heaven.

After all, if Pumas and Jaguars can roar defiantly at their corporate rivals, why not.. Shadowcats?