Nadia's Story
Cambridge Cyrenians
We provide housing, community projects and mental health support for people facing homelessness in Cambridge, UK. ????
Nadia* moved to Cambridge in 2016 but struggled to keep up with work when her health declined.
“I was doing live-in care work. And I kept having lots of time off from my job. Because I was getting so sick."
Living with a genetic liver disease, Nadia was often tired. “I’m now a lot better than I used to be,” Nadia says. “But back then I was just so exhausted. Eventually, I was going to work only two or three times a week. And I realised I just wasn't coping. I’d be going home crying thinking ‘Oh my god, I can't look after myself.’”
Unable to work, Nadia felt lost. “I couldn't support myself anymore. I just didn't know where to turn and I planned to take my own life.?I convinced myself that everybody would be better off without me.”
On the day that Nadia planned to end her life, she sat in her room waiting for her housemate to go to sleep. “[She] came home from work about five and I was going to go out about 11:30 or 12. I had my bag on the floor by the side of my bed ready to take with me.
“I was in my room and I heard her scream and my heart was just beating so fast. I went around to her room and she was just overcome with crying. After she calmed down she told me that she had just got news about a friend who had taken his own life. She said she didn’t have a clue that he was feeling like that.”
Nadia could not keep her own secret any longer. “I just started crying. I showed her the letter I'd written her. She read it and ripped it up. And she hugged me and we cried together. She said she was so glad I had told her.”
With support from her housemate and two close friends, Nadia was able to seek help. Sadly, not long after, her housemate moved away.?Unable to pay rent or clear her arrears, Nadia became homeless.
Looking up again
Nadia spent two years living in a hostel before she was offered a place in a shared house with Cambridge Cyrenians.
As soon as she moved in, Cambridge Cyrenians’ Mental Health Service set up a meeting with a counsellor.
“I’d had some therapy at the hostel, but I struggled to open up,” she says. “I had one face-to-face meeting with my Cyrenians counsellor and we just clicked.
“I found I could talk to her. We talked about stuff I hadn’t even thought about much before, like growing up and my family. I was talking about it for the first time and it really helped me.”
Nadia says that opening up to her counsellor changed her life: “I would say to anyone, take that extra help. Just accept that sometimes you need to share your burdens.
“In the lockdown, that was when I got my confidence back. Before I had my first meeting with my counsellor, I used to walk with my head down just looking at the floor because I'd lost my confidence. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be here. I convinced myself I was invisible.
“During the lockdown, when I’d go out to stretch my legs, everywhere was so empty. I noticed I started to look up. I got more confident. By the time people started coming back out; I was used to looking up again.”
Just a phone call away
Nadia lived with Cambridge Cyrenians for almost two years. It wasn’t an easy time, but she found she could rely on her Project Worker. “I'm not going to say it was a breeze, but if there were any issues we had help right away.”
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Nadia takes a lot of pride in her space and would take care to clean communal areas, but struggled with the frequent changes as residents came and went. “Looking back now, I'm so grateful for that house. The experience has helped me to be less judgmental.
“It's a service with a heart. We weren’t patronised or talked at. They take your concerns seriously and don’t take sides. They just listen to everybody and give everybody the same fair treatment.
“Whoever was supporting us would come over sometimes twice a week. They’d always knock at the door, make sure that we were okay.?I was always able to talk to someone who was just a phone call away.”
Finally home
In December 2022, Nadia received an email offering her a council flat. A few weeks later, supported by her Project Worker, she went to view the flat. “We viewed it one day and by the next day, I was moved in."
Nadia's Project Worker was able to help her get a cooker, washing machine, and a hoover for her new flat. The team also helped her get kitchen items like saucepans, crockery, and cutlery. “They look after you even after you leave,” Nadia says.
“It’s just been so peaceful. My son comes over and helps me with shopping and cooking. He says he can see how much I’ve improved. I’m still friends with my old housemate. I’ve paid all the arrears that I owed her.”
Nadia feels positive about life now she has found a secure home. “It's such a joy to have my own kitchen and bathroom.?It smells nice in there,” Nadia laughs.?
It wasn’t long before Nadia made friends with her new neighbours, even unexpectedly receiving a surprise gift for her birthday from them. “We’ve been backwards and forwards to each other’s flats for a cup of tea and a chat. We'll just call in on each other for whatever.?We're there for each other.
“I never thought I would be happy again until now.” ?
*Name changed to protect privacy.
When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at [email protected], or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
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30+ years experience working in the community. Currently using my lived experience to support those experiencing homelessness in Cambridge
11 个月Thanks for telling your story Nadia