N-Squared: Cognitive Blogging

By John R. Nocero and Michelle Natale

John: So Michelle sends me a note this morning, as she awoke from the couch to hit the bed at 2 am and the words “Cog Blog” popped in her head - relating to cognitive thoughts. The word cognitive, by definition is of, relating to, being, or involving conscious intellectual activity (such as thinking, reasoning, or remembering) cognitive impairment. Isn’t that what we are talking about? Being present in a free-flow state? Conscious living? Conscious being? Conscious doing? It’s really self-belief. But what if success and personal improvement are two different things entirely? How are you thinking about it and how do those thoughts have you going about it?

Niklas G?ke argues that success and self-improvement are two different games. They correlate, but only to a certain degree. For example, I try to be in bed every night by 8:30 pm, sleep until 4:58 am and then I follow my morning routine. It supports my physical health and aligns my day with my best functioning self – in the morning. It is successful. It is also productive. I can start work earlier and capitalize on my high alertness in the morning. If I continue to stay nourished during the day, and drink enough water, I can stay strong during the entire day. Production and success. But if I decide to stay up late tonight to finish that nagging problem that I couldn’t solve at the office, that is just productive, not successful; as it is taking me out of my successful routine. The former was a move in self-improvement with spillover benefits. The latter was a success play at my well-being’s expense.

The number of win-win moves you can make is limited. After that, it’s a trade-off. You need to find the sweet spot. You can spend time being healthier, fitter, or learning more – or you can just work. G?ke says that what many of us choose to do, is split ourselves right down the middle. We think we’re optimizing, when, actually, we’re playing different games at different times. One day we leave work early to support a friend, the next we cancel dinner plans to write our novel.

You have to choose. Deliberately choose to take one side. But most of us are not ready to choose. We want six-pack abs AND a million dollars. You want to have it all. But you need to pick what you want. But what you can do, is take some away. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry may have said it best: “Perfection is attained not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

Michelle, from a cognitive perspective, how do you identify what to take away? Are you trying to find the perfect balance between success and self-improvement habits or eliminating the ones that hurt both? After all, you can give up what was never your best self.

Michelle: For me, I think living a conscious life is an important one. That element of self-awareness – of how we “show up” in life – is so critical to a successful and productive one. It’s the way we hold conversations and interact with others; it’s the attitudes we possess towards a situation; it’s making a conscious effort to change the way we look at or do something to get the results we want.

For example, it’s the start of the new year. We all make resolutions, right? We set goals, intentions, something we’re going to do DIFFERENTLY this time (versus last year, right?). So we set out to THINK about doing something different. And that either leads us to over-thinking (I like to call it “analysis paralysis”) or ACTUALLY DOING something different. 

In my situation to the example above, I recall last New Year’s Day 2018 watching Evening – a local Seattle TV show. They were showcasing one of the local fitness studios and it intrigued me! These people were exercising on machines that just glided along so smoothly…it made working out look so easy.  And I was on the search for an exercise routine that I could connect with. Flash forward to a year later and I’m still doing the Lagree Method. AND…I’ve noticed different results in the way my body looks, feels, etc.

Maybe our resolutions drop off, don’t stick, or fade away is because we set these lofty goals (or too many) and they don’t become part of our routine or lifestyle change. As you mention John, maybe the goal is self/personal (or professional) improvement and the end RESULT is success. And that’s what motivates us to keep going. Consciously doing. Consciously being. Consciously living.

In a nutshell, that’s what cognitive therapy does – it focuses on basic “rewiring” of old patterns or behaviors and doing something different. My challenge to everyone in 2019 is to take those resolutions and goals you set out to achieve and rewire yourself to a better you all the way around. The first step is just to say, “I can, I want to, I will.” Time get out the clippers and soldering iron and get some internal rewiring done!

 #kindreds

Please remember to like and share :)