Myths about emotions you must know!

Here’s a task!

Name some of the good emotions.

Now name some of the bad emotions.

Congratulations! That was a trick.

No emotion is inherently good or bad. Emotions are just emotions!

For example, think of a knife. Is knife good or bad? Inherently, not both. It’s how we see it and use it. That’s exactly how emotions are.

Every emotion we experience has a purpose. The emotions that evolved over thousands and thousands of years, all of them are here for a reason.

So firstly they are neither good nor bad.

There is a range of emotions we feel and some of them, we are not really fond of like anger, sadness, etc. Certain emotions are already difficult to go through and on top of it there are these myths and misunderstandings about emotions which make it worse.?

These are the things we are gonna address today.

#1 We already discussed

Myth: There are good and bad emotions

Truth: Emotions are neither good nor bad

#2 Myth: If you feel emotions too deeply you are sensitive or you are completely out of control, you need to get your emotions under control

Wrong! I’ll tell you why.

There is no such thing as feeling emotion deeply and feeling it not so deeply. Everyone feels emotions the same way. What differentiates us is how we act on it

Let’s say you and me are both afraid of heights. The fear we both feel is the same. At the same time, it’s how we act that differentiates us.

You do fear heights but you can still stand at the edge of a building and look down. I do fear heights and I cannot even climb the tall building. It’s the actions that creates the difference. The emotion we feel is the same

So there’s no such thing as being a sensitive person.

#3 Myth : You are your emotions

Have you heard people say ‘I am a sad person’ or ‘I am an angry person’

They make their emotions a part of their identity. If you do this too, stop!

You are not your emotion. We got used to saying ‘I am sad’ , ‘I am angry’ . But the right way to say that is ‘I feel sad’ , ‘I feel angry’ . Your emotions are just a part of your human experience, they are not you. You are not a sad person, you feel sad at certain circumstances, you are not a angry person, you feel angry at certain situations.

It’s important to rephrase these things because, if you don’t you’ll keep telling yourself these things over and over, you start believing that’s who you are and what you believe is how you act

#4 Myth: Expressing emotion is weak

Has anyone ever made you feel bad for crying?

‘Strong people don’t cry’

‘Dont be a baby’

‘Never cry for such things’

This is fundamentally wrong.

Emotions are basically energy in motion. While you feel an emotion it’s energy that’s getting formed inside your body. And this energy is supposed to go out. There are ways in which our body does it, like, when we are nervous, we sweat, when we are happy, we feel like jumping or moving our body, when we are stressed, there’s weight inside our head and we feel like lying down

One such way of releasing the emotion out is crying. Trying to suppress the emotions only does more harm both to our mental and physical health. It’s absolutely healthy to cry, to express your emotions, to let the energy out.

Do not listen to anyone who says otherwise.

#5 Myth: If I feel something, I should immediately act on it

Here’s a super duper example for this. Let’s say you just had a terrible breakup. The relationship was not really good and you mutually agreed to break up because it’s not healthy for both of you.

Now, after breaking up, you miss them, you feel like texting them, should you do it?

Should you do it? *one eyebrow up emoji*

Missing them is a very very normal feeling. You have spent a long time with them and suddenly they are not there, and obviously you are gonna miss them.

That doesn’t mean you have take that action. Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean you have to act on it, instead you have to analyze and ask yourself, is this the right thing to do?

Here’s another example, let’s say your manager keeps taking credit for your work, and one time you politely told them and they gave you some reasons.

You are now in a meeting surrounded by people, and yet again, they took credit for your work.

At that moment any sane person would feel insanely angry.

And due to that emotion, you’ll feel like calling them out in the meeting in front of everyone. Or you would feel like making a passive aggressive comment, but are these the right ways of dealing with the problem ? NO

Feeling an emotion is one thing and acting on it is another thing. Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean you have to act on it . Trust me, it’ll save you a lot of trouble

#6 Myth: Feeling low, sad or scared after making a decision doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong decision

Again, same example, you broke up with your partner because you were not happy in the relationship. Does that mean you made the wrong choice?

Let’s say you get an opportunity to speak in front of 100 people. It’s an amazing opportunity to showcase your talent and you said yes. After saying yes, you feel scared. Does that mean you should have said NO?

After making a choice , if you feel a certain emotion , that doesn’t necessarily have to be true. Instead like I mentioned previously, analyze it.

Ask yourself questions and get the clarity you need. Don’t blindly believe your emotions.

#7 Myth: If others don’t agree with how I feel, then I must be wrong

Let’s say you and your friends all go to a movie. You personally loved it and enjoyed it. But all your friends found it extremely boring. Does that mean you are wrong and they are right about how one should feel about the movie?

No. Exactly, the same with every other emotion you face.

How you feel about certain things is very personal to you, your likes, you needs and your experiences.

It doesn’t have to match with how others feel. Comparing feelings is not the right thing to do. There’s nothing wrong with you feeling a certain way about certain things.

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I have covered some important myths about emotions.

However, no matter how much we talk about emotions, some of them are just hard. It’s difficult and we would want them gone.

You might have heard the word, emotional regulation, which basically means learning how to handle emotions better

AND THE CORE OF REGULATING ANY EMOTION IS TO ACCEPT IT.

TO WELCOME IT AND SIT WITH IT.

But what each and every one of us do is the opposite. We don’t want to feel them and we try our best to avoid them. The more your try to push emotions away, the harder it gets. Emotions are meant to be felt and it’ll pass once you allow the space.

When you don’t allow the space, the emotion will wait. It’ll never pass. It’ll keep waiting, keep growing, which makes things worse for you.

How do you allow it ?

Spend time to sit with it. Just sit alone and listen to the voice. Listen to what this emotion is trying to tell you. Talk to it like a human. Ask questions. Why are you here? What do you want? What triggered you? What can I do now? Try to write it out . Try to talk it out.

If the emotion returns, welcome again. The emotion will visit as many times as it needs until it’s finally time to leave. So no matter how many times it visits, give it the space.

After all it’s you body, your mind, your emotion. If you don’t allow them and accept them, how can we expect anyone else to be of help to us?