Myths of Bad Behavior

Have you ever felt judged or stereotyped because of your behavior?

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like your perspective wasn't being heard or respected?

Well, you're not alone.

We live in a society where bad behavior is often shamed and misunderstood, leading to myths and misconceptions that can harm our relationships and interactions with others.

Is toxic behavior at the heart of anti-social norms rising in both corporate and entrepreneurial environments as well as social society especially against marginalized groups?

How do we understand and eradicate anti-social behavior before it appears on political manifestos where the implication is that governments can control the outcomes rather than transform human beings by embed positive loving behavior principles as a route to a non-violent future?

Let's start simply by understanding different points of view - what is bad behavior?

I was a Visiting Lecturer at London Metropolitan University back in 2009 and invited to present the concept of workplace culture - the 'wellness' factor of humans working together. I started with a simple yet broad question "What is 'bad behavior' in your experience?"

By not rejudging what it is to a group of young adult students, I expected a wide range of answers.

The first observation was that they had not thought about what it was, more often they had expected "why did you do that?" from teachers, parents and authorities. The rebel perspective likes to be able to object to control!!

Next I encouraged them to both state the obvious and the obscure.

What do I mean?

The obvious is the extreme - bad behavior that is toxic, caustic, violent, invasive acts such as rape, murder, war. Yes we as decent human beings find such things intolerable and criminal.

Tracking into the obscure and some times more personal 'bad behavior' we find the 3 Ps - perceptions, perspectives and preferences come into view and obscure the common ground. Without awareness of personal Ps can offend and /or be offensive without us realizing we might damage someone else's emotional reality.

One student pied up "It's bad behavior to be late to an appointment" at which the room erupted with laughter. I calmed the room as said "that's a good point"

It's personal, it's ones standards, it may be taken as a rejection of professionalism, or just plain rude. Reactive behavior with out clarification can lay down years of unexpected misery.

With these layers of emotional capacity to truly understand different people, different experiences, layers of old hardships and even unconscious memories where we were hurt by a word or a deed, leads us into someone else's "bad behavior" trap.

Let's explore the dynamics of human beings in all it's magical beauty:

Myth #1 : No one is ever right or wrong. The truth is, our individual perspectives are shaped by our unique experiences and beliefs. However, it's important to acknowledge that some actions can be deemed criminal and universally wrong. It’s important to listen to and respect the perspectives of others, even if we don't always agree.

Myth #2 : Seeking truth is easy. The journey to truth can be a long and difficult one, but it's important to remain honest with ourselves and others along the way. Gossip and dishonesty can poison relationships and create a toxic environment.

Myth #3 : Arguing is always bad. There's a difference between a healthy debate and an argument fueled by fear and control. Healthy debates can be used as a force for good and can lead to productive solutions. It's important to engage in reasoned and intelligent discourse, rather than arguing needlessly.

Myth #4 : Gender equality is impossible. The fight for gender equality has become a source of anger and division, with many people feeling as though they are fighting for the wrong things. True equality comes from valuing the differences and diversity that make us who we are. Men and women should work together in joint custody of the world, utilizing each other's strengths and abilities to create a better future. Seeking a path to authentic harmony brings to the fore the principle of non-judgment and sharing of the 3Ps and experiences.

Myth #5 : Pronouns are not important. The name we are given at birth is a gift from our parents, but we also have the power to choose our own identities. It's important to respect and honor the choices that individuals make, including their preferred pronouns. However - the use of excessive variations of pronouns seems to have opened up another agenda today and can have a significant impact on someone's sense of identity and belonging in a more confused manner. The evolution of multiple gender preferences has confused the simple notion that we are born with male or female biology, and as we grow we can observe and prefer a range of masculine and feminine energy (further explored in Gender Dynamics Intelligence) and by overlapping our biological variations and sexual preferences we have created "Identify bad behavior". Read on.

Myth #6 : Sexual preferences define us. Our sexual preferences are a part of who we are, but they do not define us. We are each unique individuals with our own strengths, weaknesses, and personalities. It's important to understand and respect the diversity of individuals, rather than placing them into boxes based on their sexual preferences. If a new identity is created that causes aggressive discrimination - it is wise to seek awareness of being human rather than that label. This is a far broader conversation to be had - however the notion of 'bad behavior' is that it is a word, deed or action that harms someone by placing one's view onto someone else without permission. My suggestion -Don't lay your perspectives arbitrarily on others.

Creating a Good Behavior Manual:

So, how can we create a manual for good behavior in our daily lives and eradicate anti-social behavior right from the start of life?

It starts with acknowledging and debunking these myths and misconceptions that can harm our personal growth, our relationships and our interactions with others. Here are a few tips:

1. Listen and respect the perspectives of others, even if you don't always agree.
2. Be honest and avoid gossip or dishonesty.
3. Engage in healthy debates, using conflict as a force for good.
4. Value diversity and work together towards joint custody of the world.
5. Respect and honor individual choices, including preferred pronouns.
6. Understand and respect the diversity of individuals, avoiding placing them into boxes based on sexual preferences.
7. Place a loving preference in all you do and how your perceptions of others form. Do not judge or assume the worse!
8. Be your best you and set expectations for others to be their best in return!

By following these guidelines, we can create a world that values and respects diversity, while also acknowledging and celebrating the unique qualities that make us who we are. Let's work towards a future of authentic harmony, where we can each thrive as talented, gifted, and wise human beings