The Myth of Work-Life Balance

Recently, I’ve observed a surge in discussions about maintaining work-life balance and exchanging various tips. Let’s explore the most popular tips, and then I’ll present a thought-provoking argument, challenging the prevailing belief that work-life balance is a myth celebrated in corporate culture and a source of income for numerous personal coaches.

Typical advice for building work-life balance

This list can be extensive. Thus, I am sharing only a short list of the most popular advice from Instagram, YouTube and other social media platforms. The list is not in any particular order.

• Set boundaries between work and personal time — allocate time only for work and time only for personal life, and maintain them in your schedule.
• Build a list of goals for the day and say “no” to everything that does not meet the list — postpone tasks for the new day, write them down when you are done and come back when planning the next work day.
• Schedule breaks during the day and have the time for personal stuff blocked in the calendar.
• Use time management techniques — Eisenhover matrix, Pomodoro, GTD — and tools to automate those techniques.
• Maintain a consistent sleep schedule, with the same time for going to bed and waking up. Avoid using devices before sleep, and do not grab your phone first thing in the morning.
• Exercise regularly — have the time for sports booked on your calendar.
• Have meals scheduled — eat a reasonable amount of calories every 3–4 hours.
• Disconnect from work completely during personal time. Disable notifications and do not respond to calls.
• Invest in personal time with friends and family — fully dedicate your attention, not paying attention to device notifications.
• Use vacation days and holidays for personal life, not for work.
• Delegate non-essential tasks, and focus only on what you should do yourself.
• Meditate, read, practice mindfulness — disconnect from the world’s noise.
• Create a dedicated workspace at home and work, free of distractions.
• Dress up for work and then change for personal activities.
• Set realistic goals and expectations for yourself, don’t blame yourself for mistakes and celebrate achievements.
• Practice being grateful to others and yourself.
• Communicate openly and truthfully about your feelings and thoughts, and avoid lies.
• Learn how to enjoy personal time by yourself and find peace in solitude.
• Always focus on quality, not quantity.

The list makes sense and looks like a reasonable self-care and personal productivity checklist. But does it work for the mythical work-life balance?

Why is work-life balance a myth?

When reading a generic list of “improving your life advice” like the one earlier, you can see good ideas and try to implement them, and most people do, or at least try. But then they need to make it work, fail at it or feel like a failure.

Many people chase the elusive concept of work-life balance and stress over it. They compare themselves to others and see “perfect” balance in others while “total misery” is on their end.

Work-life balance becomes a target, taking resources and emotional energy. Yet, my observations show that perfect balance is rarely attainable, and chasing it leads to more stress and negative thoughts.

What do we do now, then?

Instead of chasing the elusive “work-life balance,” agree that your life does not have balance. Sometimes, work wins, and sometimes, life wins. Things change, days change, and plans change. Accept it and stop stressing over the changes.

Then, get back in “control” to the extent you can. Instead of feeling like a victim of the situation, life and other people being pushed into life without work-life balance, look at the decisions you make daily and admit that your life is the result of those decisions.

Work-life balance becomes an issue only if you make it an issue. Instead of trying to find some balance, focus on the choices you make and the results you achieve.

And remember, what works for some people may not work for you. You may work 100-hour work weeks and be happy, while others may work 20-hour weeks and be unhappy. It only depends on the choices you make and the results you achieve.