The Myth of Success: Why We Think the Way We Do About Success and Its Impact on Relationships

Success is a concept that evokes a range of emotions, a powerful ones. For some, it symbolizes the highest achievement, the realization of goals, and the reward of hard work. For others, it triggers feelings of inadequacy, envy, or frustration. But why do we perceive success in this way? Why has it become so closely associated with competition, rivalry, and often, a sense of isolation? This is largely due to the myth of success being only for one—the belief that only a single person can truly succeed while others must be left behind or treated as adversaries.

The Cultural Origin of success

Our perception of success is deeply rooted in cultural narratives. From an early age, many of us are taught that success is about “winning.” Whether in school, sports, or careers, we are conditioned to believe that reaching the top is the ultimate goal, and that there can only be one person at the summit. This leads to a zero-sum mentality: If one person succeeds, others must fail. The myth of success being only for one creates the illusion that success is a rare and exclusive commodity, accessible to only a select few.

This mindset is reinforced by the media, which often glorifies stories of individual triumph, portraying successful people as heroes who have risen above their peers. The narrative rarely highlights the collective efforts or support systems behind that success. Instead, it presents the individual as a solitary figure standing alone at the pinnacle.

Success as a Solo Journey

One of the most damaging aspects of this myth is the belief that success is a solitary endeavor. While self-effort is essential, I believe there’s only so much you can achieve on your own—without the support of others, and your progress may be limited. The “self-made” individual is a popular trope, suggesting that success comes only to those who possess an extraordinary level of talent, drive, or intelligence. While hard work and perseverance are undoubtedly important, this narrative overlooks the networks of support, mentorship, and collaboration that often underpin success.

The myth of the lone successful person not only isolates the individual who achieves success but also alienates others, positioning them as rivals rather than collaborators. In this context, the success of one person is seen as a threat to others, fueling envy and resentment. Instead of celebrating collective achievement, we are conditioned to believe that success is a competition with winners and losers.

The Power of Perception

Much of our understanding of success is shaped by perception. We often equate success with visible symbols of achievement: wealth, status, titles.. However, this narrow definition of success ignores the less tangible but equally important aspects of personal fulfillment, that is growth and the impact on others.

In the workplace, this can manifest as a toxic environment where colleagues see each other as competitors for promotions, recognition, or resources. Rather than fostering a culture of collaboration, this mindset leads to undermining behaviors, backstabbing, and a constant struggle for dominance.

But what if success was redefined? What if, instead of viewing it as a finite resource, we saw it as something that could be shared and expanded? What if success was not about standing alone at the top, but about lifting others up with you?

Reimagining Success

To break free from the myth of success-Only me is the winner and others are losers, we must first challenge the narrative that it is a solitary pursuit. Success is not a limited commodity reserved for a select few; it can be abundant, varied, and shared. In fact, many of the most successful individuals and organizations thrive on collaboration, community, and mutual support.

When we recognize that success can be a collective experience, we open the door to more inclusive and sustainable forms of achievement. This shift in mindset encourages us to celebrate the successes of others rather than viewing them as threats. It fosters an environment where collaboration, rather than competition, becomes the norm.

The Emotional Impact of Success

The myth of success also has emotional consequences, both for those who achieve it and for those who feel they have been left behind. For the “successful” individual, the pressure to maintain their position can lead to stress, burnout, and a sense of isolation. They may feel that they cannot show vulnerability or ask for help, for fear of being perceived as weak or undeserving.

For those on the outside looking in, the perception of someone else’s success can trigger feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and self-doubt. This is particularly true in a world where social media often highlights the best moments of others’ lives, creating a distorted view of what success really looks like.

Success is NOT a Competition

At its core, success should not be about competition, or superiority. It should be about personal growth, fulfillment, and contributing positively to society and the world around us. Success is not something that diminishes when shared; on the contrary, it can grow and multiply through collaboration and support.

The myth of success as a solitary achievement that pits people against each other is a destructive narrative that we must challenge. By rethinking our definitions of success, we can create a culture that values collective progress and encourages everyone to reach their full potential. In this new paradigm, success is not a lonely pursuit, but a journey we can all embark on together.

Finally, Success is contagious when the conditions are right, So let’s create the right conditions and take others with us to the top.

If the following conditions are met, congratulation you are already a successful person:

• Do not undermine the success of others.
• Do not view successful people as enemies thinking that you have lost already.
• Do not sell yourself short, you don’t need to be special to be successful.
• Do not think you can succeed alone, you need others to help and support you.