The Myth of a Regular Schedule

Ah, schedules. The glorious predictability and comfort of knowing what comes next.

As a member of the quarter of American adults in the sandwich generation (those with parents over 65 and kids under 18), I'm a sucker for a solid schedule and routine; it can feel like my shield against the mental load of juggling work, kids, and aging parents.?

And here's the thing for many of us – we can only corral the chaos so much. Because let's be honest, when was the last time your week unfolded exactly as planned? For us, the most routine part of our weekly routine is the inevitable wild card - the unexpected event that can unravel it all.

It’s:

• The sick kid with pink eye, strep, or 2 stress fractures (my wild cards this month!)
• The parent with a long-term illness that takes a turn for the worse
• The unexpected work opportunity that has a deadline of tomorrow
• The spouse who misses a train stop and can’t do kid pick up?
• The end of school year event they just scheduled
• Lice (which takes up a lot of time, IYKYK)
• The overflowing toilet or shower leak

So how do we navigate these curveballs??

Embrace wiggle room for your wild cards.

What is wiggle room?

Wiggle room is the buffer time and flexibility that allows you to adjust your plans when the wild cards arise. It’s the white space in your calendar that allows you to move things around so you don’t completely derail your plans for the week.

How do you build wiggle room into your routine?

1. Plan for the Mayhem: Block out buffer zones in your calendar. These aren't for leisure; they're for the doctor's appointments, the unexpected errands, the "can you pick up the kids early?" texts. Look at your calendar for next week.? Block out some wiggle room time in the open spaces now. You can also create a no meeting day to catch up on your work too!

1. Embrace Your To-Do List (but be flexible): Make a to-do list, but know what must happen and what’s a nice to have. Wild cards may force you to reschedule, delay, or delegate the nonessential tasks. It's okay!

1. Lower Your Expectations of Yourself: Accept that some things might not get done perfectly, or even at all. We often expect more of ourselves than others expect of us.? If you have to bow out or adjust, most people get it as long as you communicate, which leads to…

1. Communicate Like a Champ: Keep your partner, family, and colleagues in the loop. Let them know about your schedule and potential and actual disruptions. A little heads-up goes a long way.

1. Hold Space for You: Schedule time for yourself, even if it's just 15 minutes for a walk or to read a book for pleasure. A burnt-out caregiver helps no one.

Remember, a little wiggle room in your week isn't a weakness, it's a superpower. It's the secret weapon that allows us, the sandwich generation, to navigate the beautiful, messy reality of our lives. So, embrace the wild cards and know that with a little planning and a whole lot of flexibility, you’ve got this.