The Myth of Maternity Leave: An Update

When I went on maternity leave, I had no idea that I would never return.

The word leave implies a temporary pause, a break, a return to normal.

But before having Isla, I didn’t realize that some life changes don’t come with a return ticket.

When I returned to work after a year off with my baby, I struggled to figure out why everything felt so different.

It was me.

I think I’ve changed and didn’t notice the transformation brewing within me in the midst of the chaos of diaper changes and sleepless nights.

But as I was surviving the days, I was becoming somebody new.

The way I drive a little slower and honk my horn less.

The level of patience that’s grown from rocking a baby that won’t settle until your arms and back hurt, and creating a home-cooked meal from scratch only to have a toddler look you square in the eye as they toss it onto the floor.

The compassion I suddenly feel for mothers everywhere, and the love that’s evolved for my own mother for the sacrifices she made that I didn’t fully understand until now.

The way I logged onto LinkedIn and my email inbox, back to working a couple days a week, and loved having a slice of myself back so much…

…but also it felt like that part had changed too.

I’m no longer seeking the validation that I used to need, no longer feverishly refreshing my posts to see how many likes I’ve gotten…

…because her toothy smile as she squeals MAAAma with a clumsy embrace is more than I’ll ever need to feel whole.

The me before motherhood may be gone forever, but stepping into her place is a version that I can’t wait to get to know.

Update:

Two years later, some things have stayed the same...I would still drop everything for my sweet girl, and my patience has only grown as she’s entered toddlerhood (iykyk).

But something else has shifted.

I don’t feel like a stranger in my own body anymore.

I’ve built relationships...with fellow moms, with women who’ve supported me, with friends who don’t have kids but understand me in different ways that I never imagined.

These women have lifted me up, reminded me that I can still chase big dreams while raising a little one, especially on days when it's felt absolutely impossible.

They’ve shaped me, just like the tiny mice in Cinderella stitching together something stronger and more beautiful.

And while I carry the reminders of postpartum, like my c-section scar and the frizzy baby hairs that never quite grew back the same, I look in the mirror and truly love the woman I see now.

I owe it in part to them.

And that’s the magic of community, the women who see us, lift us, and remind us that we’re capable of more than we ever imagined.

It’s why I love spaces that celebrate and empower women, and why I'm so excited about Invest Ottawa’s International Women’s Month sessions this March, where inspiring women will share their journeys, struggles, and successes.

In less than one week, Invest Ottawa is kicking off International Women’s Month 2025 with The “F” Factor: Fueling Founders, featuring keynote speaker Katherine Homuth , Founder & CEO of SRTX (Sheertex)!??

Katherine turned a breakthrough innovation into a very successful company in just three years, raising $140M in capital, and redefining what’s possible for founders.???

The best part is that the tickets are free with in-person and virtual options and are currently 75% sold out!??

Reserve your free spot now here: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/the-f-factor-fueling-founders-tickets-1131156552699?utm_source=Email&utm_medium=Michaela+Alexis&utm_campaign=IWM+Marketing

So, whether you’re in the thick of it like I was two years ago, building something new, or simply looking for inspiration, this is a room full of women who get it. Happy Early International Women's Month!

Love and coffee, Michaela