The Myth of Introverts, Extroverts, and Physical Distancing
Susan Cain
#1 NY Times bestselling author, BITTERSWEET and QUIET. Unlikely award-winning speaker. Top 10 LinkedIn Influencer. Join the Quiet Life Community (for people who don’t necessarily love communities) at thequietlife.net.
There's a lot of talk lately about #introverts loving physical distancing and #extroverts hating it.
This is grossly over-simplified.
Instead, think of our craving for social interaction as existing on a spectrum: with social overload on one side of the spectrum, and loneliness on the other side.
In the middle of the spectrum -- the "just right" place -- is social equilibrium. This is the state in which we have the right amount, and the right kind, of socializing -- suited to our own unique temperaments and stages of life.
When you think of it this way, you realize that what's really relevant is whether or not you were in social equilibrium before this pandemic.
If you were happy before, then you're likely to feel more lonely or unsettled now. (This is my situation, as an introvert who already had a happily, quietly social life -- though I'm adjusting, and I am so fortunate to be on lockdown with my family for company. This is also the situation of many, though not all, extroverts -- see below.)
If you were in social overload beforehand, then you're likely to feel relieved now. (This is the situation of a friend of mine, who is the leader of a huge organization and an introvert who is thrilled to be able now to WFH.)
If you were already lonely, then you're probably lonelier still. (This is the situation of countless elderly....and of many single people, who relied on evenings out with friends to chase away their loneliness.)
I hope that this will help illuminate not only your CURRENT situation, but also whether there are changes you need to make to your everyday life -- the life to which we all hope to return soon.
How about you? Where on the spectrum were you before, and where are you now?
Financial Aid Officer/Student Services Support Professional in Higher Education
4 年The first few weeks were absolutely wonderful and I didn't miss crowded subway commutes, distracting cubicle chatter, constant ringing of office phones, and drop-in visitors at work. I enjoy having more control over how my time during the day is spent and being able to take walks or sit in the back yard for a bit. However, I do miss in-person socializing with those in my circle of friends and having meaningful conversations without electronic devices in my face. I'm fortunate to have my cat and friends who live in the apartment upstairs from me that I can see regularly and I keep in contact with my family.
Professor and Coordinator, School of Business and Office Administration, Learning Excellence and Innovation Department (LEID) at Northern College of Applied Arts and Technology
4 年Thank you for this!? I have honestly really enjoyed the lack of social pressure.. it's been a tremendous relief.? I am going to find it very challenging heading back to the "new normal".?I feel like the pandemic?lifted a?huge weight off my shoulders...insert breath of fresh air!? Now waiting for it to gradually pile back on...I feel it might even feel heavier now? ?
Sales Enablement Director / Dynamics CRM wizard and human unicorn
4 年I was definitely socially overloaded, but didn't really realize it. WFH has shown me how much of my energy I was spending on putting up a good face at work and school. Now that I can truly decompress between meetings, and have a little more control over my schedule (no conversations before 9 AM please!) I have so much more energy for non-work things. It's fantastic for me.
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4 年Wow, social equilibrium, this is some perspective I've never look into. Thank you for sharing.