The Myth of "Being" Successful: Why True Fulfillment Comes from Constantly Becoming

Years ago, I believed success had a definitive shape—a place I could arrive at, plant my flag, and finally feel at peace. In my mind, there was a point where the hard work would be over, where I’d “be” the person I envisioned. But life, in its relentless wisdom, taught me otherwise.

I’ve always been fascinated by the intersection of human performance and deeper universal truths, particularly how we grow, adapt, and redefine success.

My personal journey has been filled with transformations, from escaping my homeland as a teenager to reimagining my identity in the world. Each chapter seemed like a moment of “arrival,” yet each time, I adapted, evolved, and sought something beyond that temporary state of success. This phenomenon, known as hedonic adaptation, reveals how we quickly return to a baseline of fulfillment or happiness after any significant change—whether it’s a life-altering event or achieving what we once thought would complete us. We all adapt, and the success we once yearned for eventually feels like yesterday’s dream.

This realization hit me hardest during my time as a biohacker, constantly pushing the limits of the mind and body. The idea that I would eventually “arrive” at peak performance felt misguided. Each breakthrough led to new questions, new challenges, and a deeper understanding of myself. It was never about being the best version of myself but about becoming something more through continuous evolution.

Success Isn’t a Destination—It’s a Dynamic Process

This brings me to one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned, both in my personal life and in guiding others through the Metamind program: success is not a destination, but a dynamic process of becoming. Like time itself, it flows, shifts, and evolves. We grow out of our old mindsets, and sometimes, even the reality we once knew feels foreign.

The people I’ve had the privilege of working with—whether they were CEOs, athletes, or those recovering from personal setbacks—have all had one thing in common: they outgrew their old definitions of success. They were no longer satisfied with being where they thought they wanted to be. Instead, they embraced becoming something new.

When we let go of this fixation on being, we free ourselves from rigid expectations. We stop clinging to the person we think we should be, and instead, we allow ourselves to become the person we are meant to evolve into.

Redefining Success in a World of Constant Change

This lesson applies to organizations as much as it does to individuals. I’ve seen large companies face massive layoffs or disruptions, seemingly losing their sense of “being.” But in these moments of upheaval, there’s often an opportunity for reinvention. The companies that focus on becoming something new—adapting to market shifts, reimagining their culture, and reconfiguring their goals—are the ones that thrive in the long run.

I’ve personally gone through similar transformations, both in my career and personal life. I’ve held onto identities and goals that felt solid at the time, only to realize that I needed to let go and evolve. At every stage, I found myself not “arriving,” but constantly growing. Each moment of being served as a stepping stone toward the next stage of becoming.

What’s crucial here is understanding that the real work is not in reaching a fixed point but in maintaining momentum and a mindset that welcomes growth. Success is not about a static title or accomplishment. It’s about the journey of continuous adaptation.

Embracing the Process of Becoming

So how do we apply this to human performance?

In the Metamind program, we teach that performance and fulfillment come from an active, dynamic process. Whether you're trying to unlock new potential in your career or transform your personal life, you have to embrace the reality that you will adapt to your current achievements. What once excited you will no longer hold the same charge. And that’s okay.

The key is to focus on the process of becoming. Constant learning, adaptation, and transformation are the fuel for long-term fulfillment. We help people rewire their brains not just to achieve success but to keep evolving once they reach it.

This approach isn’t just about professional achievement—it's deeply personal. It’s about understanding that, as individuals, we’re not meant to remain static. Whether it’s the burnout I experienced when I stopped challenging myself or the joy I found in helping others grow beyond their own limitations, I’ve seen firsthand that fulfillment lies in embracing this journey of becoming.

Practical Applications

It’s one thing to understand the concept of becoming, but how do we practically integrate it into our lives, both personally and professionally?

Through my experiences and the work I do, I’ve found that the key lies in a few simple but powerful practices.

Here are three ways to embrace becoming in your daily life:

1. Reframe Your Goals as Growth Milestones Instead of setting fixed goals that focus on a single point of achievement, frame your goals as part of a growth continuum.

Ask yourself: how can this goal help me evolve, rather than just reach a stopping point? For example, rather than aiming to “become the top performer in my company,” you might aim to “continuously learn new skills and expand my impact in the company.” This subtle shift reorients your mindset from a fixed outcome to ongoing development. The goal is not a static endpoint but a stepping stone toward your next phase of growth.

2. Practice Adaptive Reflection Take time to reflect not just on where you’ve been, but on how you’ve adapted and grown. A simple daily or weekly reflection practice can help.

Ask yourself:

• What have I learned recently, and how has it changed me?
• Where have I adapted to challenges or new realities?
• What am I becoming, rather than what am I achieving?

This keeps you attuned to your growth, rather than locking yourself into a fixed self-image.

3. Focus on Process, Not Perfection One of the traps of the being mindset is the need for perfection. We can become obsessed with achieving the “perfect” result, often at the expense of progress and innovation.

In contrast, the becoming mindset focuses on process. For example, if you’re working on a big project, rather than obsessing over getting everything right, focus on how you’re learning and growing through the process. What new skills are you acquiring? How are you challenging your assumptions?

This approach not only reduces stress and burnout but also allows you to be more creative and resilient in the face of setbacks.

The Art of Always Becoming

I invite you to rethink what success means to you. What if it wasn’t about finally “being” someone or something, but about the ongoing becoming—the constant evolution that shapes us?

If we could see success as a fluid process, we’d stop looking for an endpoint and start focusing on how we move through each phase of life with grace, curiosity, and a hunger for growth.

Whether in your personal life or professional endeavors, I challenge you to ask yourself: are you chasing an illusion of being, or are you embracing the art of becoming? Maybe the real magic lies in embracing the process of becoming.

If this sparked some new thoughts for you, consider sharing it with someone who might appreciate exploring these ideas too. I don’t claim to have all the answers—just hoping to spark conversations that lead to deeper insights for all of us.