The Mystic of help in Nigeria

Help from experience and observation is a mystery. In Africa, from tales passed down orally, our fore-fathers lived a communal life where one was his brother’s keeper. Our ancestors enjoyed unity, togetherness, and oneness. Assisting one another was a norm and culture. A child was not only the sole responsibility of the parents, especially as regards upbringing. With the westernization of almost everything including our identity in Africa, it is obvious that the last badge of the colonialists who left the shores of Africa took with them this amazing aspect of an African to their own countries. I say this because, in the western world, people are quick to help or call for assistance than here in Africa especially Nigeria but most especially, Lagos.

People generally are not inclined towards helping others in this part of the world because, most often, rendering help has landed a lot of people in trouble and such people have their lives bombarded with the dire consequences of betrayal from a rendered assistance to someone and they might forever regret their action.

I once heard a story where a lady out of pity and compassion committed and devoted her time to helping a young man who was addicted to alcohol. This young man would drink himself into a stupor, forget to have his bath, and used to stink because he never took care of his personal hygiene. This young lady in her compassionate nature took care of this young man, nurtured him, and made sure he had no access to alcohol during his recovery period. Eventually, when this young lady had a suitor, this young man went about telling all who cared to listen that she was his fiancée. This story almost cost the young lady her suitor. The lady who narrated the story almost reached a harsh decision not to render help anymore.

Someone with the experience above might not be too quick to render assistance when necessary. It has become a norm to see people walk by when they encounter an injured along the road. Just like characters in the story of the Good Samaritan who walked past the man attacked by armed robbers, a lot of people repeat this except that they pause to take a picture of the situation with the motive of increasing followership on their social media platforms. This really is very much appalling.

What has happened to our people? When did we learn to mind our business even to the detriment of one’s life? Imagine a young man being brutalized by police officers; that ought to protect innocent citizens somewhere in the heart of Lagos and what people did was to become spectators. No effort was made to either render assistance or even call for one. The ones who tried only captured on camera the brutality cowering. Eventually, the young man was bullied into the van and taken away. Who can tell if those people were real officers?

Apart from the fact that many people now shy away from assisting others as a result of hurtful experiences, many others might not be inclined to readily offer help because of the erroneous belief that many people do not need help. This is an excuse not to do the needful. While it is true that a lot of people might appear not to need assistance and some others will not vocalize their need for assistance even if their lives depended on it, the fact still remains that three out of every four persons you encounter need help. Two out of the three need this help urgently.

The best time to render assistance is when the person is saying no to your help or appears not to need help. This assistance might not come directly though. But help must we render.

Imagine a girl child who is being sexually abused by an uncle or even her father, think of that woman who is being emotionally or physically abused by her husband, what of the student being sexually harassed by her teacher? What of that your colleague who is worried about the expiration of her rent that will happen soon? What about that friend who is worried that she might make a bad decision? What of that man/woman or child who has yawned five times and you are seated enjoying your plate of jollof rice. It could go on and on. The truth is that if we really look around us, we will definitely find ways of rendering help and this would go a long way in minimizing depression, trauma, crime, and even suicide.

Just try a little kindness today, just offer your help to someone who genuinely needs, just put a smile on someone’s face and you might just save another life.

Written by

Mbaegbu Chiamaka

[email protected]