The Mystery of Death

by Robert Bauer MA JD

Death is such an amorous subject to discuss. Many people try to avoid the discussion of death all together because of the mystery that it offers. There are far too many what abouts, unknowns, and uncertainties in the passage of life into eternity. We try to shy away from even facing that the fact that everybody will face death.

We can be reassured that there is an eternity beyond what we are experiencing now. If we accept the premise of the religious world that there is an eternity that offers us options; either eternal sadness and pain, or it will offer us joy and peace. Now there is a faction that does believe there is an in-between, kind of a holding place. They believe that if you do not qualify for eternal joy and peace you will hang out here until someone advocates for you into the good place. I refer to it like that of the cell phone parking lot, you at the airport, you are just waiting for your call to move to the main airport...Regardless, there is an eternity in the beyond. You can determine the destination.

This past weekend I saw a play at the Shakespeare Theater in Washington, DC, that is titled "Everybody." The play was a comical approach in discussing the process of death. It wasn't a funny "haha" type of play though there were parts that made you chuckle. It was a strange light-hearted thought-provoking play about dying.

It promotes us to evaluate our thoughts before we enter the lane that will take us to eternity. This thought process is what everybody invest their time on. There will come a time when we are at the end of our present journey of this thing we call life, where at the end of the passage we will stand before an authority higher than us to give an account of our life. How will any of us answer the simple question, " How did your life matter? How did it count? " This is a mystery for all of us. It is the leaving that has many of us thinking. What will it be like? Where will we actually go? Will I be afraid to travel alone?

There are many people that love living, but they do not fear death. There are some that are not ready to leave this life. However, when the time comes to go, it is clear that none of us get a choice to travel with a companion. This is frightening for those that have spent their life in a state of loneliness and isolation.

Our fear of death drives us towards those that matter the most; our family. To us this is where our lives began, they gave us life and nurtured us into our present state. No matter, the outcome we always reach out to our family as we start our journey into death.  I remember when I was in the US Army, I witnessed the death of one of my squad members. As he lay on the ground facing his final moments, he cried out to his mother. In his end he wanted family. However, we realize that no matter what our wishes are, we are unable to take our family with us. We realize that those desires to travel into eternity with our family is an impossibility. 

Nevertheless, fearing being alone, motivates us to grasp for the closest thing to family, that being our friendships. We are born into a family, they are our flesh and blood. They really don't get a choice if we are in their life or not. However, we chose friends, they too see our flaws much like our family accept us for who we are and not what the world thinks we should be. They have the choice to be our family. There still remains a friend couldn't travel with us on our final journey anymore than thinking our family could.

Our most significant connections in life can be found in our kinship, friendship, and materialism. Yes, our stuff plays a significant role in our lives. After all, our stuff best reflects our personalities, the very being that we are. We spend a lifetime acquiring stuff that best reflects who we are; our collection of weapons, automobiles, jewelry, book collection, and more. Comedian George Carlin (now passed away) once said that when we buy a bigger house, it is only because we have outgrown our stuff. He implied we needed the room for our stuff.

When we leave the world, our stuff is left behind to be distributed amongst family, friends, and the Goodwill. It is really not ours, it is as though we have it on a long term lease. In the end we cannot take anything with us but... In life there is usually one thing that we ignore the most, and in the end it is usually the most important thing that we forget. We spend our lifetime acquiring everything we own to impress our family and friends. We buy things to replace the void of lacking this one gift that has been given to everyone for free. The one gift that we spend most of our life looking for and usually missing the mark when we are shown it is, love. 

The Gift Of Love

Yes, love, we were born into love. We spend our entire life seeking love. Many have missed the mark in recognizing this gift or some even tried to keep it from others. Even if you were denied the gift of love as a child or an adult. You cannot deny its presence when it appears. The reality of life though is there is no one that has not been shown the gift of love in their walk in this universe.

I can be honest and share with you that there have been days in my life, I felt that I was not loved or respected. I felt alone and isolated. There were days, I wished I was dead. However, the reality is all of those feelings were just walls that separated me from the truth. When we leave this world, no matter how it is set, we go with love. 

As I draft this blog, I am sitting across from a wall I call my family wall, and on this wall are the pictures of my children, my mom and dad, and siblings. When I look at this wall, I m reminded that this is love. My mom and dad have taken that journey into eternity, but they left all of us their love. 

On the desk where my laptop sits is a Bible. A book that contains the love letters from God to me. He tells me of his promises. He demonstrates his love. The one thing which is a gift that does not cost me a dime. 

Saying Goodbye

We will all experience death; everybody does. Everything is left behind, and yes, we will have to account for our life on earth to a higher authority.

Let me close this blog with a little personal information. My father passed away thirty-nine years ago. He was in the prime of his life when he was hit with brain cancer. It was not a pretty death. But God assured me the day we had the grave side service that he was okay now. As the single Air Force jet flew over head, I looked up and saw my dad's face in the clouds grinning. Dad was not the most educated man in the world; he left high-school in the tenth grade to join the US Marine Corp. While serving his country, he was deployed to Korea, where he witnessed the death of his entire squad and nearly lost his life. Because of nearly expereincing death, he embraced life. My Dad left behind his wonderful memories and his love.

From the time he was a very young man, he had a best friend; Jerry Higgins. They grew up together, experienced life together, married their sweethearts, and had children. They fished, hunted, and camped together. These two guys had a bond most people were jealous of. They saw it all together. They acquired their stuff: mostly hunting and fishing stuff. They had friends and family.  Aside from that they shared a love for each other that was stronger than any family bond could be.

This past week my dad and his best buddy reunited in heaven. After a nearly forty year absence, Jerry and Dad were together again. I told everyone they were fishing by noon at some pond in heaven, However, here they couldn't lie about the size of their catch. You see, Gerald Lee Higgins Sr started his journey into eternity. Jerry, as we all called him, knew what love was. He got a hold of it early on in his life. He married his sweetheart, who was by his side when he left this world along with his children and grandchildren. Together they raised two boys and a girl, who gave them a bunch of grand kids. The family surrounded him with love. There was more than enough to take with him and leave some behind. As I told a friend of mine, this is the end of a generation and the passing onto the next.

Death is inevitable, for everybody will experience it. For some, it will be the most beautiful experience. Those people look forward is responding to the question of how they lived their life and the impact they made. My question to you; are you prepared to account for how you spent your life here on earth? Are you taking the love that you were gifted long ago with you?

Have you grasped LOVE in this life?

Peace be with you...