My Way Back
Friends,
Do pardon me for my absence this past few weeks. My body, mind and internal space simply prevented me from showing up.
I don't want to blame it on sickle cell. I never want to blame anything on sickle cell.
But sometimes it can't be helped.
Fatigue and pain from sickle cell are my biggest deterrents of consistency.
But in this case, I was recovering from a series of consecutive no's and disappointments.
No's from prospective and some current partners for funding and restructured partnerships. No's on opportunities for my personal growth that turned out to be fishing expeditions.
I didn't have any good news to share. So I didn't write.
I felt like a fraud. How could I possibly share about growth and mindset when I didn't see any growth nor have the right mindset?!
Many of the stories and lessons I share are hard stories. Hard because they cut deep through my heart and takes some time for me to process, recover and eventually share.
What changed today?
Well, I'm a deeply spiritual person and my life is grounded in the values from scripture and my journey walking with Elohiym.
This relationship renews my strength incredibly where nothing else can. Not my loved ones, my friends and not anyone or anything.
The words of Solomon in Proverbs 24:16 have helped me process my disappointments these past few weeks
"For a just man falls seven times, and rises up again.."
I enjoy the work I do. I believe it is good work and by virtue that it is good work, it helps shape me to be a better person.
Even so, I cannot deny that this work is also long, arduous and full of peaks and valleys. But here I am,. risen up again!
Things are better now, I also know they can be bad.
That's okay with me, I will rise again!
So how are you doing today?
Mindset
At this moment, things have taken a turn for the better.
Partly due to this Whitney Houston song reminding me what love is. In a sense, it put me into perspective of why I started this work.
Remembering this made me recalibrate my way back to centre,. to a healthy balance.
Like most people, it is always easy for me to fall to the extreme of things. Extremes that lead to negativity, un-productivity and a spiral of overwork, poor sleep and waning motivation.
Balance unlike the extremes takes effort.
Effort in awareness and constant intention to maintain this balance.
Awareness I've strayed to an unhealthy extreme. Which is comforting at the moment but unsustainable long term. Especially for this work and for me.
I have been off balance for sometime. Although I don't have a solution right now I have reduced my work load to a few critical daily objectives. I left two days work free to allow me freedom to take rest and pause.
All for the purposes of taking back my life from the negative spiral and un-productivity I was in.
领英推荐
Growth
Just this week I had an opportunity to learned a great lesson.
The power of a lie
I had to tell a lie recently to save face.
A colleague was organising a training session for cancer patients. However, she made room for sickle cell patients and all I had to do was contact them and get their commitment.
Due to a series of unfortunate events with my phone, inability to remember things I don't write down and conflicting responsibilities, I forgot.
When she asked, I made up some excuse to save face.
At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. But, why did I feel the need to lie?
As I thought on this, I finally realised I lied because I should have said NO in the first place.
My inability to say NO forced me into accepting a coerced YES.
How do we know when to say No? When the answer is not an absolute Yes.
If there is any shadow of doubt, take a minute or a day and have a think on it before saying yes. If you're still unsure then the answer is NO.
I should've done this, but I didn't. I lied.
An unwavering no,.. not now,.. not for me,.. not ever,..?trumps a forced, unsure, misplaced Yes all day, everyday!
What is on my mind?
Taking it slow, taking my time. I'm exercising the art of being slow and deliberate about my decisions, people, projects and the environment around me.
What am I learning?
From a Ted Talk., I am learning the concept of a familiar surprise.
To build a relationship and get people to buy in to your ideas and solutions, start with relating to their values. Aligning and relating to their values and perspectives first, then connecting them to your ideas allows for a positive result.
Listen here,
Finally,
Thank you for taking your time to read this letter.
Taking steps forward sometimes means stopping or going backwards.
Until next time,
Talk soon.
xo
Lea