My Way Back
footsteps in the desert sand

My Way Back

Friends,

Do pardon me for my absence this past few weeks. My body, mind and internal space simply prevented me from showing up.

I don't want to blame it on sickle cell. I never want to blame anything on sickle cell.

But sometimes it can't be helped.

Fatigue and pain from sickle cell are my biggest deterrents of consistency.

But in this case, I was recovering from a series of consecutive no's and disappointments.

No's from prospective and some current partners for funding and restructured partnerships. No's on opportunities for my personal growth that turned out to be fishing expeditions.

I didn't have any good news to share. So I didn't write.

I felt like a fraud. How could I possibly share about growth and mindset when I didn't see any growth nor have the right mindset?!

Many of the stories and lessons I share are hard stories. Hard because they cut deep through my heart and takes some time for me to process, recover and eventually share.

Photo of Lea

What changed today?

Well, I'm a deeply spiritual person and my life is grounded in the values from scripture and my journey walking with Elohiym.

This relationship renews my strength incredibly where nothing else can. Not my loved ones, my friends and not anyone or anything.

The words of Solomon in Proverbs 24:16 have helped me process my disappointments these past few weeks

"For a just man falls seven times, and rises up again.."

I enjoy the work I do. I believe it is good work and by virtue that it is good work, it helps shape me to be a better person.

Even so, I cannot deny that this work is also long, arduous and full of peaks and valleys. But here I am,. risen up again!

Things are better now, I also know they can be bad.

That's okay with me, I will rise again!

So how are you doing today?


Mindset

At this moment, things have taken a turn for the better.

Partly due to this Whitney Houston song reminding me what love is. In a sense, it put me into perspective of why I started this work.

  1. Those with sickle cell shouldn't suffer unnecessarily because of sickle cell.
  2. I do this work because it is the right thing to do.
  3. I do this work because I know change can happen and will happen for Sickle cell in Africa with the right intention, solutions and people.
  4. I do this work because I want to., and I don't know any other way of being.
  5. I do this work because it is a way to draw closer to The Most High Elohiym!

Remembering this made me recalibrate my way back to centre,. to a healthy balance.

Like most people, it is always easy for me to fall to the extreme of things. Extremes that lead to negativity, un-productivity and a spiral of overwork, poor sleep and waning motivation.

Balance unlike the extremes takes effort.

Effort in awareness and constant intention to maintain this balance.

Awareness I've strayed to an unhealthy extreme. Which is comforting at the moment but unsustainable long term. Especially for this work and for me.

I have been off balance for sometime. Although I don't have a solution right now I have reduced my work load to a few critical daily objectives. I left two days work free to allow me freedom to take rest and pause.

All for the purposes of taking back my life from the negative spiral and un-productivity I was in.

Growth

Just this week I had an opportunity to learned a great lesson.

The power of a lie        

I had to tell a lie recently to save face.

A colleague was organising a training session for cancer patients. However, she made room for sickle cell patients and all I had to do was contact them and get their commitment.

Due to a series of unfortunate events with my phone, inability to remember things I don't write down and conflicting responsibilities, I forgot.

When she asked, I made up some excuse to save face.

At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. But, why did I feel the need to lie?

As I thought on this, I finally realised I lied because I should have said NO in the first place.

My inability to say NO forced me into accepting a coerced YES.

How do we know when to say No? When the answer is not an absolute Yes.

If there is any shadow of doubt, take a minute or a day and have a think on it before saying yes. If you're still unsure then the answer is NO.

I should've done this, but I didn't. I lied.

An unwavering no,.. not now,.. not for me,.. not ever,..?trumps a forced, unsure, misplaced Yes all day, everyday!


What is on my mind?

Taking it slow, taking my time. I'm exercising the art of being slow and deliberate about my decisions, people, projects and the environment around me.


What am I learning?

From a Ted Talk., I am learning the concept of a familiar surprise.

To build a relationship and get people to buy in to your ideas and solutions, start with relating to their values. Aligning and relating to their values and perspectives first, then connecting them to your ideas allows for a positive result.

Listen here,


Finally,

Thank you for taking your time to read this letter.

Taking steps forward sometimes means stopping or going backwards.

Until next time,

Talk soon.


xo

Lea

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Lea Kilenga Bey的更多文章

  • Hydroxyurea? A complex, complicated relationship

    Hydroxyurea? A complex, complicated relationship

    All my sisters and I were diagnosed within the late 80s and early 90's. At this time Sickle Cell Disease(SCD) was…

    18 条评论
  • What I Believe Will Drive Meaningful Sickle Cell Change in 2025"

    What I Believe Will Drive Meaningful Sickle Cell Change in 2025"

    2025 has an air of possibility. It feels like I am heavily pregnant, in the final stages of my final trimester.

    17 条评论
  • Lesson notes from August

    Lesson notes from August

    If you cant write, copy. Early this year I set a goal to write daily.

    1 条评论
  • What medical schools should teach about Sickle Cell

    What medical schools should teach about Sickle Cell

    Sickle Cell Disease (SCD) is a genetic condition and a social condition. It is fruitless to only address biological…

  • The mindset of a patient advocate

    The mindset of a patient advocate

    Dear Beautiful People! With April melting away in plain sight, I hope that we remember to pace ourselves each day. This…

  • Lessons from the Chinese bamboo tree

    Lessons from the Chinese bamboo tree

    Hey beautiful people! I'm excited to be back after a brief break. Truth be told, I have struggled to return to my…

    2 条评论
  • On loss and taking time to deal

    On loss and taking time to deal

    Dear beautiful people, Greetings! This has been a bitter sweet couple of days. On Tuesday 12.

    1 条评论
  • A meaningful specific

    A meaningful specific

    Dear Friend, Greetings! This is the fourth edition of this and It hasn't gotten easier. Nonetheless, thank you for…

  • Time to take up space

    Time to take up space

    So last week didn't happen, but that's okay. I'm getting comfortable with pacing myself when I have too much on my…

  • Choosing the right kind of discomfort

    Choosing the right kind of discomfort

    Is it me or does February seem to be moving in the speed of light? What used to be 24 hours seems like 8 these days. I…

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了