My Two Cents Halfway Through 2023

Dozens of job postings later and pretty much keeping myself behind my LinkedIn profile, here I am deciding to show everyone a glimpse of my personal side.

So, hi, everyone! To my professional network, I have been known as Gungti, the headhunter. Working for this recruitment firm, who specialize in the HR market. Snatching given professional title attached, I am an introverted, avid chocolate drinker of Balinese descent, but a self-proclaimed Sundanese for having born and raised in Bogor. Congratulations! You’ve just gotten to know me a little better than a slight while ago.

It is rather unusual for me to show up here but today, I am pretty much on a reflective mood. After having series of demotivation that comes in waves, I was forced to sit back and reflect; something I found nearly impossible to do given the motions in my daily routine. Halfway through 2023, I am picking up writing today; something I used to enjoy during my free time—and decided to document my journey in navigating through the issue most of us would relate to: Rediscovering one’s motivation.

Allow me to stretch back in time to when I first joined Michael Page a little over a year ago. Despite it being my first full-time role, I came to Michael Page with prior recruiting experience. I was elated, energized, and somewhat overconfident that I could nail this job in no time.

How difficult could the job be? I’ve done this before (how overconfident and naive I sound, now that I think about it), I thought once upon a time. It was not until the second week in and tons of mandatory trainings later that I started to question my capabilities in doing the job.

Second week in was pretty intense. After series of shadowing sessions from experienced consultants, I was thrown on the phone with my senior sitting next to me. This time, being shadowed. I remember picking up the phone, nervous of being watched and judged, dialed a number, and start my conversation.

The first call lasted a little over 15 minutes and when I hung up, I winced at the look my senior gave before she goes through a list of things I need to work on in my next calls; from how unconfident I sound, how scripted I was, to the lack of conclusive judgment I have about the call.

Doing the calls right was only a small portion of learning I should go through as I have a major confidence issue to address. It was rooted from self-induced feeling of inadequacy— of being a junior in the field, having to deal with seasoned professionals who know much more about everything than I do. My first few months was tinted by what I would say as being overly prepared that I found another issue to deal with: Time management. I spent too much time delving into industry news, jumping from one company profile to another, preparing list of questions, and other time-consuming effort that could create a biography of its own. Unsurprisingly though, most of the time I was still underprepared.

Fast forward today, here I am, still doing the same job but with what I want to believe as a major improvement. February 2022, I secluded myself in meeting rooms to have conversation. Today, I make calls from my desk. March 2022, I make 30-minutes gap in between calls to prepare list of questions to ask. Today, I let my conversation flows naturally. April 2022, I had zero knowledge of how certain industries work. Today, I picked up bits (and more to come!) of industry insights to share. I can list more and more things but this piece will be longer than how I intend it to be. Now that I think about it, it really is not that bad for someone with a relatively short work experience.

For me personally, taking myself to where I first started helped me find back my motivation. I am revisiting the state I used to be in— a truly blank canvas picking up small things along the way— and taking myself to the present, evaluating how my willingness to learn and persistence has shaped me into who I am today.

Despite the improvements, I still have more learning opportunities coming. I came here as an empty glass and yet after a year, I am not able to determine how full my glass has become knowing there’s no limit to knowledge out there.?

It's easy to get demotivated and overwhelmed by having to juggle with motions in our daily routine. Often times, we loose key opportunities for personal evaluation. If you're feeling it, try to take some time away from your hustle and reflect on how far you have gone; your achievements, your failures, and how these combination gets you to who you are today. Take some time to salute you and pat yourself on the back. Self appreciation, peeps! Take notes!

By no means I'm trying to lecture you, but hopefully my two cents could help you redefine your why.

So, what have you reflected so far this year? If you feel like it, please jot something down in my comment box as I would love to read and learn from you. Until then!