My Tryst with Trust - A non-expert's perspective!!

I write this article about Trust, more from an interpersonal attribute perspective than from an organizational one.

We trust our parents because they have taken care of our well being even when we were too young to understand trust. But we also trust one of our best friends, with whom we had spent much lesser time comparatively. Why? Doesn't trust need time to build? Does that mean, time is not one of the variable in defining trust? Do we trust our best friend or because we trust them, he/she is our best friend?

Hold these thoughts. Lets try to understand the meaning of trust on how experts define it.

Trust is generally assumed to be a soft skill that is mostly intangible. Oxford describes trust as "Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something". Seems intangible.

Cambridge makes the definition even more interesting. "To believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you, or that something is safe and reliable". It brings in even more intangibility by using the words like honest & reliable.

A bestseller book, The Speed of Trust, by Steven M.R. Covey defines trust as "the level of confidence we place in another’s character and competence." I may not fully agree with this one.

Interesting enough, three different but loosely related perspectives.

So lets come back to the questions above. I don't claim to be an expert on the subject but every time I think of Trust, it reminds me of Newton's 1st Law of Motion - "An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

An Individual is trustworthy and stays to be trustworthy till the time he or she breaches the trust, voluntarily or involuntarily.

I feel human beings are born with this inherent value of trusting others. An infant trusts almost everyone, a child likes to venture into unexplored territories. A common teenager makes friends almost instantly in school/college. So what impacts our ability to trust as we grow up?

1. Experience: As they say, experience is the best teacher. A breach in trust impacts our ability to continue trusting. More severe the breach, arduous it becomes. This loss of trust is mostly irreversible.
2. Community: As we are growing up, we are slowly induced with this attribute to not trusting others by default. Rightfully so in some cases, but a constant induction of this value gradually converts into an individual's inherent trait.
3. Communication Gap: Constant communication and transparency keeps the trust intact. A small un-clarified issue can severely impact trust. Its always better to bring up issues immediately and seek clarifications. Assumptions are equally detrimental to trust.
4. Conduct: This one is personal. I usually evaluate trustworthiness by a person's conduct. This can be misleading at times but mostly a good indicator in controlled environments like workplace, friend circles etc.

Having said the above, there are many other smaller factors that impacts trust. Every individual has his/her own way of evaluating the same. There is no right way, wrong way or a proven way. However, the ability to trust is a direct derivative of maturity, experience & situational awareness.

To conclude, Trust does has its tangible value - It helps holding on to your people (your biggest assets), builds your monetizable goodwill & reputation and your individuality that makes you a brand. Integrity & Competence seem very basic but most difficult to uphold & give different dimensions to trust that I will reflect on some other day.

Final Mantra: Action speaks louder than the words. Trust has to be earned. Trust is mostly, if not always, mutual. To gain others' trust, you must display trust on them first.

PS: Alternate views on this subject are welcome. Feel free to share your perspectives - add to the list or just comment on what you felt about the article.