My Truth, My Experience

Each of us has unique experiences and perspectives. As leaders, we have the "curse of knowledge!" We know how something is supposed to be, so we naturally expect those around us to understand it the same way. NOT!

Be aware that others may—and most likely do—have a different perspective than we do. Someone with three years of experience will see things much differently than someone in their first week on the job. This disparity can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications if not properly addressed.

Conflict and frustration are often born because of the disparity between differing perspectives. As leaders, we have the responsibility to be clear to our people on expectations. Effective communication is not just about giving instructions but ensuring those instructions are understood and interpreted correctly by everyone involved.

For instance, consider these two statements: "Go clean the bathroom." versus "I would like you to clean the bathroom, but first review our cleanliness procedure. Then let's schedule a time so that I can show you how we define clean, and you can ask me any questions that remain. Okay?" The first statement is direct but vague, leaving much to personal interpretation. The second statement, however, is clear, structured, and allows for dialogue and understanding, which can lead to a much better outcome.

Can you see how a leader might get different results from each comment above? The first might lead to a hurried, subpar job done based on the cleaner's personal standards, while the second approach sets clear expectations and provides the cleaner with the necessary tools and understanding to meet those expectations.

Additionally, if there's conflict between two people, remember there are at least three sides to the story: her story, his story, and the truth. Discerning truth and coming to a common understanding is a key function of a leader. This involves active listening, empathy, and the ability to mediate and guide discussions towards resolution.

“My truth, my experience” impacts the meaning-making around any situation. It helps define the situation that triggers the response. If something is bad and threatening, we react a certain way. If something is fun and happy, we’d react differently. For example, someone from Florida would react very differently to hearing thunder than someone from California due to their different experiences with weather phenomena.

"As a company, as a team, we get more depth and richness in our decisions, actions, and growth by having and honoring different truths! This is the essence of a diverse, rich work environment—getting to shared truth and a clear shared path!" according to Rudy Miick, developer of Miick Systems. By embracing diverse perspectives, organizations can foster a more inclusive and innovative culture.

In a previous company, we had a bullying situation, but it wasn't evident at first until we heard, listened, and understood the story of repetitive microaggressions from multiple people that led them to feel a certain (negative) way. Hearing their experiences from their perspectives and understanding the impact it was having allowed for awareness and the opportunity for corrective action. This not only resolved the immediate issue but also led to a more supportive and respectful workplace culture.

Leadership requires a proactive approach to understanding and addressing different perspectives. It’s not just about managing tasks but about managing people, their emotions, and their viewpoints. When leaders take the time to understand the different truths within their team, they can better navigate conflicts, foster collaboration, and drive collective success.

What's an experience you were part of where there were different truths until there was a common truth? How was it addressed? Sharing such experiences can provide valuable insights and strategies for others facing similar challenges.

In conclusion, embracing different perspectives and fostering clear communication are essential components of effective leadership. Leaders must continuously strive to bridge the gap between their knowledge and their team's understanding, ensuring that everyone is on the same page and working towards shared objectives. By implementing these strategies, leaders can create environments where all team members feel heard, valued, and aligned towards common goals. The result will be the ability to mitigate conflicts, enhance collaboration, and drive their teams to greater heights of success.