My Transformative Year of Being a Leader

Almost a year ago today, I became a first time Line Manager. My organization was going through a tremendous HR change, and as a result, I was so grateful to get the opportunity to lead a team of 20 HR Advisors who provided end-to-end HR support to the employees working in our organization’s Middle East companies. It was a position I had really wanted, and while I knew before going in, that it would be such a steep learning curve for me, I’m the person who loves and thrives in challenging environments. 

I was pumped, ready to go, and said to myself on my first day in my new office environment, “Let’s do this!”. 

But boy, oh boy, the challenge superseded all my previous expectations, and it was one heck of a rollercoaster ride that I almost lost grip of.

It was challenging emotionally, physically and intellectually. 

But truth be told, it was also the most incredible, fulfilling, life enriching experience I had ever gone through. I loved it. 

Of course, given the chance, to wind back the clock to a year ago, I would have done many things differently. But then again, I don’t regret a thing. Because if I hadn’t done as many mistakes as a first-time leader, I wouldn’t have been smashed so hard, I wouldn’t have been able to learn as much, and become supremely humble by the entire experience. 

But first, let me tell you a bit more about my background. When I first joined my organization about five years' ago, I joined into my company's Accelerated Leadership Program. This was not an internship, it was a permanent position. It was super tough to get into it, because various online and face to face assessments needed to be passed. But I still believe it is the best Program ever, because for anyone who loves challenges, who loves being developed on the job, never gives up, and always want to perform above and beyond, this is the Program for them. As a result of joining through this pathway, I didn't join the entry level position in my company, I was speed tracked to middle level position. So expectations were high and the stakes were even higher. But just like how I whipped my grades into shape in the one month before my finals (after I got a wake up call from failing my Maths and Accounting subjects in my pre-University foundation course, and no reputable university wanted to extend a conditional offer to me), I thrive in 'Do or Die' situations. I became a strong Individual Contributor, and I found out that I love being a HR Business Partner to the Senior Leaders, Managers and Employees of my organization. I had the best two back to back Line Managers any employee could have ever asked for, who believed in me, who saw potential in me, and I felt like they threw me into the ocean so that it was my responsibility to take charge and accountability of my learning and be proactive. I was not spoon fed. I was not coddled. There were times I cried in the printing room, I have to admit. But I trusted my Line Managers. I knew they had the best of intentions, and as a result, I came out swinging. I thought that this was the best way a Line Manager can coach and support their teams, which was by believing in them, giving them steep learning curve projects and tasks, pushing them to learn how to do it themselves, but being there each and every time they fell, to help pick them up, dust them off, and send them back out there onto the playing field more determined to succeed.

How very wrong I was. This survival of the fittest approach does not work for everyone. This was my Mistake Number 1 of being a first time leader.

Of course, I used this same approach because I wanted to go in there, and play out my purpose which was to be an inspiring leader, who believed in my team members, and wanted them to be the best of the best. I wanted to help to build and develop their skills and capabilities, so that at the end of the day, whenever there was an organizational change (and let's face it, this is a given, during this constantly evolving and technologically advancing stage), my team would become competitive in securing high value jobs within or external to my organization.

I blame Dr Phil (okay, just kidding, Dr Phil is awesome), but I really thought that tough love works!

So after many reflections, breakdowns, and difficult conversations with my team and my Manager, and also watching many videos and reading 'Leaders Eat Last' and 'Start with Why' by the ah-ma-zing Simon Sinek, I learnt the fundamental truth about leadership:

When you first become a leader, it is absolutely critical that you first ensure that you help make your team feel safe.

What I should have done in the first couple of months, was to really listen. Really, really listen, with no judgments or assumptions. I needed to understand who they were and what were their motivation triggers. I needed to understand what their fears were, and how I could help to mitigate or combat those fears, to provide them the level of comfort needed so that they can perform their best.

Hindsight is sometimes a pain in the you-know-where. Now I realize, that I was coming into a completely different environment, where I was working in a mostly Millennial work force department (many of whom started in the entry-level position and was working their way up). My direct reports were either younger, the same age, or older than me. Some of them had been working in the same department for years, and maintained their fixed mindsets with regards to their ways of working and behaviours. Previously, the most important requirement of their job was to do things as quickly as possible (which meant that quality of work was not always maintained). Suddenly, a year ago, our HR function changed drastically for the first time in 20 years'. New work teams were created, some of the Leadership members had changed, and performance standards were 5 times (this is just a picked out from thin air estimate) higher than before. My team was suddenly experiencing a steep increase in the complexity of their work, and there was an urgency to close the gap as soon as possible, so that our end users which were the employees we were supporting did not have to face the drop in the level of HR service that we were providing.

If I could turn back time to a year ago, I would have done the following 3 steps:

1) Ensure I helped to make the team feel safe by really getting to know them as the wonderful, unique, and beautiful human beings that they are. Demonstrate care to them, and help them work through their concerns, difficulties and issues with the new organization model AND

2) Only after I have done Step Number 1, to then identify the root problems and come up with the solutions. But this is Mistake Number 2 of being a first time leader, which was, where possible, ensure that I had consultations with my team members, before implementing process changes. And also, when implementing changes, explain really clearly (and it may be necessary to explain twice, or thrice), why we need to do these changes. Why it was necessary, how we were going to implement the changes, and what those changes were. This is Simon Sinek's Golden Circle Rule: AND

Credit: https://medium.com/@rafavinnce/start-with-why-creating-a-value-proposition-with-the-golden-circle-mode-5dbfa7b7efda

3) After thoroughly performing Step 1, I would have identified where each of the individuals in my team sit within the Skill/Will 4 grid box, and also identified the different approaches needed to train, teach, and lead each of them to perform their tasks following the process and behavioural mindset changes.

Credit: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-Skill-Will-Matrix_fig2_254583097

I learnt the hard way, and this is my Mistake Number 3 that not everyone likes to be developed and taught in the survival of the fittest and tough love kind of way. This is because each and everyone of my team members had different cultural, family and life experiences. I never believed that I had more skills and capabilities than my team members. Not at all. I always felt that the only difference was perhaps that I was confident and I truly believed in myself and my ability to perform as per my purpose stated above. I also had a high level of resilience as a result of the tough challenges I faced growing up. Not everyone has the same levels of resilience, as this is very dependent on their life journey, and as a result, different people have different abilities to tackle changes in the workplace and spring back up to adaptation mode. I had inherited a team where not everyone of them had the confidence and resilience level necessary in order to take risks, take charge and be proactive in tackling complex problems, and ask for help in order to deliver.

When a Leader takes the effort, and time necessary to do whatever it takes to build up their team members' confidence and self-belief, I have experienced first hand, the exceptional progress that the team working collectively can achieve. And I swear, the progress is not only the quality of work being delivered, but also the incredible transformation in the way each of my team members carried themselves (with high confidence and belief), and also by really collaborating and working together is one of the most beautiful moments I feel so grateful to experience.

It is regretful that I only had the opportunity to undertake the Leadership course for First Time Leaders 7 months' down the line of being a leader, as maybe if I had undertaken it before I became a leader, I would have avoided my 3 mistakes above. Because the thing is, everything a leader says or does is always put under the microscope, and it takes a long, long time to gain the trust back from your team if you broke it. Even when you seek forgiveness, show vulnerability, and amend your ways, but because you did not make the effort initially to foster that safe environment when you became their new Leader, you have to then really up your game to demonstrate genuine care and support to them. Eventually, day by day, you will slowly gain back their trust. And when you do, it is of utmost importance, that as a Leader working with your team, you completely reset the status, and start from scratch. Start from Step 1, before going to Step 2, and only then going to Step 3.

All in all, I learnt so much. I feel that really, having leadership experience will in the future, give me more capability and skill to become an even better HR Business Partner.

As a HR Professional, it was so easy for me to dish out advice to Line Managers on how to tackle their underperformers or how to increase motivation and engagement in their teams....

But I tell you what, when you put the HR Professional literally in the Line Manager's shoes for once, oh my, seriously, it is so not as easy as it looks. I have so much more empathy and understanding of what a Line Manager goes through day by day. The resilience and mental strength required to come to work everyday, learning so quickly and with agility, on what they need to improve on in terms of Leadership cannot be underestimated.

From the bottom of my heart, I can confidently say:

Leaders are not born. Leaders are made.

Over the past couple of weeks, when I had one to one review discussions with my team members, I was seriously so proud of each and every one of them. When I witnessed them get so excited and animated telling me all the good work they had done, and what they are excited to do and contribute to the team in the future, I was so impressed and joyous. They had found their purpose at work, and was believing in themselves more. I always knew they could do it. I always believed in them. I was over the moon that they now truly and genuinely believed in their capability to take up new challenges and perform. I never took it to heart when not very nice things were said about me behind my back, because I always believed that my team members are very good people with good hearts, and they have the intention to always deliver their best work everyday.

Being a leader I believe, is also similar to being a parent, no matter the struggle you face with your team (or your kids), you need this one super important thing to get you through the days, and to assist you to become a Better Leader every day which is:

Always to genuinely have unconditional love for your team members. To love them and care for them with no conditions.

Over the past week, I had a few of my team members thanking me for helping them to increase their confidence, and develop and upskill them. They showed their appreciation to me.

I told them, that I feel blessed and honoured to have gotten the chance to be their Leader. That I had grown and changed in a significant way, in that I have increased emotional intelligence as now I have more emphathy, that I learnt the importance of listening more, and that really I should relax more and have faith that my team will get to where they need to go in terms of performance and behavioural mindsets. My team taught me so much more, and I would never be able to repay them for the most incredible and enriching experience that they had given me.

Mark Twain once said, "There are two important days of your life, the day you were born, and the day that you find out the purpose of your existence".

After one year of being a Leader, I now know, hand on heart my purpose:

To go through such an impactful Life Experience of being a Leader that I have emerged as a different and forever changed person than I was before.

Written by:

Ruzanna Rashid

Important Note: The above views are written in my own personal capacity, and are my own views. They are not representative or reflective of the Organization that I am employed by.