My Top Five Go-To's for Monkey Mind

If you're anything like me, meditation doesn't exactly come naturally. In our stress-filled work and home environments, with more distractions competing for our attention than ever before, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Too much information (TMI) is practically an epidemic in our social media-driven world. The reason I'm bringing this up is that I've seen a lot of posts lately on what makes a good leader, a good employee, or a healthy work culture. It seems like most of them are packed with "how-to" lists or the classic "if this is happening at your workplace, then you'll know XYZ," usually with a negative spin.

For me—and I bet for most of us—there's not a lot we can do to change our workplace culture or how toxic our boss might be, but we can change how we deal with it mentally. We've got more control over our state of mind than we realize. Now, I'm not going to give a deep dive into brain plasticity, but trust me, these tools have helped me tame my mental monkey. You know, that little voice that starts playing a full-on feature film in your head when you're stressed, insecure, or just read one too many negative headlines. And it's all in full HD with special effects, right?

No matter what you're facing—whether it's a tough boss, a mistake at work, or realizing those EITBA targets aren't going to be met this quarter—here are my top five tips. And don't worry, you won't need to meditate on a mountaintop to get results. Just take 10 minutes in the bathroom or find a quiet spot. With a little focus, you'll be able to hit pause on that mental movie, get a grip on your thoughts, and get back to being your most productive and positive self.

1. Verbalize or Name Your Thoughts: Cognitive Defusion

Cognitive defusion, a key concept in?Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), helps individuals reframe negative thoughts by creating mental distance from them, thereby helping reduce the emotional weight of negative thoughts and giving you control over them. Instead of becoming entangled in a thought like "I always mess up," or "I hate my toxic boss," cognitive defusion encourages acknowledging it as a passing mental event. By verbalizing it as "I'm having the thought that I always mess up," individuals can reduce the emotional weight of such thoughts, recognizing them as temporary rather than absolute truths. This technique gives individuals more control over their reactions and prevents thoughts from dictating their emotions and behaviors.

Research shows?that cognitive defusion can effectively reduce anxiety and depressive thoughts by shifting attention away from the content of the thought to the process of thinking itself, with techniques like visualizing thoughts as clouds or leaves floating away helping in this process. Verbalizing these thoughts also creates psychological distance, allowing individuals to reframe negative experiences more constructively. According to?Therapist Aid, cognitive defusion aids in detaching from thoughts and enhancing mental clarity, and with techniques like “zooming out,” we can see problems from a distance, which helps reduce their significance.

1. Counselor’s Hat: Flip the Inner Critic

When you’re caught in the loop of self-criticism or just plain negativity, it’s easy to forget how we’d react if a friend or family member came to us with the same struggle. If your loved one told you they were replaying their mistakes or feeling unappreciated, you wouldn’t agree with their harsh inner dialogue or validate the negativity, right? You’d encourage them to be kinder to themselves and offer a more balanced, supportive perspective to help them feel validated and appreciated with or without an external force. This is where flipping the inner critic comes into play. Instead of letting that movie reel of negativity run unchecked, take a step back and ask yourself: What would I tell my friend in this situation?

This method works because it reframes the way you engage with your thoughts, shifting from self-judgment or victimization to a more constructive internal conversation. Research shows that reframing self-critical thoughts can improve emotional regulation and help you respond more calmly and empowered to stress. Likewise, practicing self-compassion by speaking kindly to yourself has been proven to reduce anxiety and build resilience. For me, the “zooming out” helps to not just ignore the problem but engage with it in a healthier way, turning the inner critic into a helpful guide rather than a harsh judge. So, next time you catch yourself spiraling into negative self-talk, imagine your friend is the one facing the challenge. What would you say to them? Now, say it to yourself. By doing this, you’re flipping the script and getting back to focusing on the present moment instead of getting lost in that mental movie.

1. Reassurance: This Too Shall Pass

A huge step in controlling the "monkey mind" is recognizing that our thoughts do not always reflect the truth, and our feelings, though intense, are often unreliable and fleeting. It's easy to get caught up in negative thoughts or let emotions dictate our actions, but learning to step back and see thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—can make all the difference. This aligns with Mel Robbins' famous?5-second rule, a concept she borrowed from NASA's research, which suggests that you can interrupt negative patterns of thought within five seconds to prevent them from spiraling out of control. The idea is that by counting down and acting before your mind has time to overthink, you can take control and refocus on the present.

The age-old adage, "this too shall pass," is more relevant today than ever. With the transient and fast-paced nature of our modern lives, something is always happening—good or bad—and nothing stays the same for long. This phrase reminds us that emotions, even overwhelming ones, are temporary and will fade with time.?Research shows?that accepting the impermanence of feelings can help reduce anxiety and allow us to stay grounded in the present. By acknowledging that thoughts and emotions are passing, you regain the power to refocus on what truly matters, rather than getting lost in the drama playing out in your mind.

1. Get Out of Your Head: Exercise

Sometimes, when you’re stuck in your head, all you need is to move your body. Physical activity, even something as simple as a quick walk or 10 jumping jacks in the bathroom, can help redirect your focus away from anxious thoughts and rumination. Exercise releases endorphins, those feel-good chemicals that enhance your mood and provide?mental clarity. This shift in physical focus not only interrupts the cycle of overthinking but also offers a fresh perspective, helping you feel more grounded and less overwhelmed.

Studies show that even short bursts of?physical movement?can significantly lower stress and refocus the mind. When stress levels are high, doing something as simple as getting your blood pumping with a few jumping jacks or taking a brisk walk can be enough to recalibrate your thinking and bring you back to the present. Physical activity has been proven to reduce symptoms of?anxiety and depression, and it doesn't take much time—just a few minutes of movement can make a world of difference in shifting your mental state.

1. Learn to Laugh

When stress is high, sometimes the best way to manage it is to take a step back and laugh. Humor is an incredibly effective tool for stress management because it helps shift your perspective and makes problems feel less overwhelming. Laughing not only lightens the mood but also releases tension, making it easier to handle difficult situations with more ease.?Studies?have shown that humor and lighthearted techniques can improve psychological flexibility, helping you adapt to challenges more effectively. This flexibility allows you to bounce back from stress faster and approach life with a more open mindset.

Incorporating laughter into your day-to-day life can also boost resilience. Whether it's through watching a funny video, sharing a joke with a colleague, or simply finding the humor in a stressful situation,?laughter?acts as a mental reset button. It reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol while increasing the release of endorphins, the body's natural mood elevators. By learning to laugh at yourself and life's challenges, you enhance your ability to cope with stress and improve your overall?well-being.

So next time you're feeling overwhelmed, take five minutes to laugh—it might be just what you need to regain your focus and move forward.

*Editor's Note: All images were created with Google's Image FX