18. My Top 5 Stress Busting Tips

It is International Stress Awareness Week. And it's a big deal because stress is the health epidemic of the 21st Century (WHO) and, the top illnesses projected 20 years from now that we will be suffering, are all related to chronic stress. So, I think it's time we act, don't you?

No one taught us at school what stress is, what it does to us, let alone how to handle it - at least, they definitely didn't when I was at school! So, let me teach you some things that I wish I had learned...

Here are my 5 top tips

1. Realise that not all stress is bad

There's good stress (eustress, or creative tension) that is needed for us to grow, expand and build our resilience and health. It's akin to the tension you must create when you pull the arrow back on a bow and arrow, in order to propel it forward. It's the stress we experience when we go out of our comfort zone. It is healthy. We shouldn't be trying to run away from this. Instead, lean into it.

Then there is bad stress (distress, or destructive tension) that breaks us down, it's what happens when we get stuck into a chronic state of fight, flight, freeze and fawn. It wreaks havoc with our mental, emotional and physical health. Rather than expansion outwards, which is what creative tension gives us, we shrink backwards and inwards. We become reactive, defensive and resistant, rather than responsive, creative and resilient.

This is detrimental and what we need to alleviate. Understand this more deeply by watching this video

2. Power in the present moment

Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is only in your imagination - the only thing that really exists is the present moment, right here, right now. And when dealing with stress, the present moment is your friend. Your greatest power lies in the present.

Often our mental strain and emotional distress is caused by our minds being everywhere but here. We are worried about the future, we are thinking about all the tasks we have ahead, scared of the uncertainty before us and ruminating on what we have left behind.

I get that - I experience it too. But the best way of dealing with it is to come back to the here and now, and take the next, tiny, baby step that is obvious to you.

Instead of worrying about how you will deliver that whole massive project, just do the next small task on it.

Instead of worrying about the outcome of your job application, just start the application.

Instead of fretting about economic uncertainty and your future finances, just get a grip on your income and expenditure now.

For more on this tip, watch my short livestream here:

3. Be A Good Juggler

In the modern, complex world, we're juggling a lot of things. Problem is - no one taught us how to juggle effectively. When it comes to handling complexity and a to-do list as long as your arm, it's important to stop and reflect and be intentional about what you're doing.

Most people are busy doing things that don't actually contribute to creating the life they want to live. If you stop and map it out, you'll start to see what 'junk' you can actually remove. All the things that are not truly contributing to what you want, what is truly important - and you must also question, do you even know what that is?!

Until you get clear about what you want, you won't get clear on the 'how'. And until then, you will run around like a headless chicken, being 'busy' and juggling too much stuff.

Another great tip for this is recognise the glass balls - if you drop a task, will it break? If not, you can afford to drop it. Take care of the glass balls, and stop stressing about the rest. This alone, can alleviate a lot of distress.

If this section resonates with you, learn more here.

4. The Power Of The Pen

Did you know the brain is actually not great for storing information, only processing it? Yet we cram our brain full of info each day and try to remember what we need to do etc. This only slows us down and stresses us out. Simple solution: pick up a pen.... or a keyboard if you prefer, and write it down.

This is one of my favourites because I have a busy mind, as many creatives, business owners and anxious people do! And the thing that helps me de-stress so much is to write it down. There are 2 main ways I do this:

• I journal frequently - A technique called 'morning pages' from The Artist's Way is particularly helpful. You just write 3 pages of 'whatever comes out of you' each morning. No judging, no editing, no thinking, just scribbling! You don't need to go back to it, store it for future etc - it's not about that, it's about emptying your brain.
• Write your tasks/ actions/ ideas - So simple, yet so effective - I have a selection of coloured post it notes and a board for my 'backlog' - Agile experts will know what I'm talking about here. It's basically a dump of all the things I need to 'do'. I structure it according to client, admin, social media, personal etc. And then I take the post its and put them on my weekly time planner every Sunday night, for the week ahead based on priority/ chronology etc. This alone helps me go to sleep with a rested mind, instead of worrying about what I have to do the next week.

For more on this tip, watch this video.

5. Energy Is Currency

Last but definitely not least, understand this: 98% of human activity is wasted energy - according to Neale Donald Walsch. Because many of us waste our energy worrying, thinking about things we can't control, trying to fix ourselves, complaining etc. It's all a waste... spend your energy where you get a return on investment.

Wasting energy only causes stress. A tool that I use to help with this and have taught many, many people (it's definitely a people's favourite) is 'Sphere's of control'. It's a simple visual you can use in any area of life to regain control and mastery of your own energy, your life force, your currency. And get MUCH better results.

You simply map out, in any given situation these things:

1. What you can control, now, and is your responsibility
2. What you can influence, now, and is your responsibility
3. What you cannot control or influence/ now/ isn't your responsibility

And then, you focus mostly on items in 1, maybe some of 2, and let go of anything in 3. It takes practise, because 3 often contains things like: other people (their opinions, behaviours etc), the weather, the government, stuff on the news... and boy aren't these things tantalising? They really drag you in. But once they drag you in, you'll be in a pit of despair, stressing about things that you can do nothing about. It's a very powerless place to be. So don't be there.

Come out of the darkness, and into the light! The light of your own agency and impact in life, the light of what you can influence and control.

Watch more on this tip here.

So there you have it!

I hope these tips helps you, do share them around with others. I hope you'll see that they are not complex, we don't need therapy and masses of psychoanalysis to alleviate our stress (although that is sometimes needed!). For the most part, we just need to find better ways and better approaches to dealing with the Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous world in which we live.

Wishing you less stress and more success,

Pinky

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I just received the most heart warming feedback on my full day resilience and wellbeing training course, they said it was "life changing". As I go about my days doing what I love - teaching, speaking, and supporting my fellow human beings on their journey of life, I can often forget that what I do is really needed out there. If you're interested in training your staff, message me and let's discuss how I can help:

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