My time with the Yamabushi

I can honestly preface this story by saying that I have no clear recollection how I found myself with the Yamabushi, or the pilgrimage that came along with the adventure that was my time with them. 

Like all great stories, I like to think the experience found me, but that’s for me to ponder and for you, the reader, to discern based on your own views of serendipity, destiny or universal laws. 

I have grown ever more comfortable around immense stillness and silence. In just being. But I have also always believed in the Japanese personal development idea of *Kaizen. I am sure many others have set off to meet the Yambushi possibly because they were trying to tackle their own personal demons, seeking Self, or coming to terms with significant life events; for me — having already settled into oneness and acceptance within myself — there was no such ulterior motive. 

My own motives for such an experience with the Yamabushi lay in a desire to at once pay homage to my past and also to offer my deepest respect to my clients, the incredible humans I get to work with on a day-to-day basis. These are humans who are driven to succeed at all costs in their businesses, pro sport career or entrepreneurial exploits. I once lived that life too. And while I might have stepped onto a different path, that drive still resides within me. So with my fantastically inspiring clients in mind, I continue to explore my new and vast horizons, seeking Kaizen. 

I believe we all live many lives, searching with each cycle for a little improvement, further wisdom, or a greater sense of what it is to be human, or possibly what is to be a spiritual being attempting a human life. This is why meditation and stillness have been the cornerstone of my life for the past five years, because they have allowed me to make sense of my life, dissolve all past traumas and find peace with whatever happens here and now, so that in this current life I’ve found myself living, I can improve. 

The pursuit of these new horizons no longer requires me to travel across vast landscapes, nor fly over oceans. They are available to me once I can sit, once I can be still, and once I draw my awareness within myself. In stillness I find my true self. The very first time I sat and meditated, I had an instant sense of familiarity, a sense of coming home, returning to an old and dear friend who knows me the best. 

Yet, here I am. It is September 2019 and I am traveling from Dublin to Tokyo, seeking this concept of Kaizen. Having just concluded a big financial win after selling an interest I had within a company — one which I had provided sweat equity and much advice to, I felt I needed a reward. This was the last exit I would make from any financial services company, having sold all of my interests over the previous three years. 

I don’t drink, so champagne was off the menu. This trip was my hard-earned reward for my various exits, and an opportune time for me to challenge the mind and body. 

The sale of these shares, and that of my other business interests preceding it, were very much based on both Western and Eastern beliefs. 

From a Western standpoint, I felt the global economy was at or near a peak in the economic cycle, which is always a good time to consider an exit and to de-risk. As a family we had sold property in Ireland, Spain and the UK, moved ourselves into a very low risk model and were preparing for potentially stormier economic times to come. This strategic shift also facilitated more time for reading, studying and evolving my perspective on how I wanted to lead my life in the coming years. It also allowed me the space to set out on this trip.

From an Eastern standpoint, I had concentrated much of my time in 2018 and 2019 on my coaching business. Since 2015, I had consumed philosophy and psychology literature with a ferocious appetite, found wise souls to extract knowledge from, and spent much time in silence, witnessing my thoughts and training my mind. I had also been training in psychotherapy, mindfulness and Eastern philosophy for five years. 

I was now in a position to intertwine these modalities into my extensive years of executive coaching, the building and selling of complex businesses around the world, and my well-respected deep passion for macroeconomics and the financial markets (a strange mix indeed!). 

All of this, peppered with my understanding of what is needed to succeed in business, sport or life. Very few have worked within the realm of absolute singular focus toward achieving a goal, dream or vision. Even fewer have reached their summit. 

I have and I did. I have reached that summit multiple times, yet each time instead of being filled with a sense of accomplishment at my arrival at such uncharted heights, I was met with disbelief. There was never any answer at the summit, only a realisation that I needed to scale the next summit. It was my own personal and complicated version of Groundhog Day. 

After coming to terms with losing my son, Joshua, back in 2015, I started to realise that there must be something more to being here in life than just the pursuit and achievement of the next goal, the next target, the next material possession. I had owned a fleet of incredible homes, Porsches, BMWs, Mercedes, race horses, holiday homes abroad, expensive watches, designer suits. I had triumphed at the top levels of the horse racing world having winners at the Galway Races, a photo finish at Royal Ascot and multiple wins with various horses over six years. Each of these things providing moments of joy through a transitory bolt of dopamine to my searching brain. 

But each time that hormonal hit subsided, as it always did, I was left back with myself. Always the same me as before, except now a little lighter in the pocket. 

Losing a child forces upon you a realisation of the fragility of life, but it also led me to a deeply profound comfort with myself and my own mortality. I know that I will die someday and I am now truly at peace with the idea of my death. Just like my birth, I cannot influence the outcome nor can I choose the moment of passing. All I can do is devote my time to this moment of being alive. 

As John Kabat Zinn would say, “as long as I am breathing there is more that is right with me than wrong with me”, there is life to be enjoyed and savoured. I am blessed with a wonderful family and my time with them is my most cherished possession. 

However, this is a treasure which can’t be held, nor displayed for others to admire. Rather, it passes through my fingers like fast moving sand, but I can choose to be immersed within and flowing with it. Ever present, and giving of myself unconditionally. 

This trip to Japan meant I had to leave my family for nearly two weeks. This would be challenging, especially given that I would be without any phone nor means of contact for five days. I would also be without a watch or access to time.

After more than thirty hours of traveling — my final concept of linear time for the next fortnight — I arrived in Tokyo. I had spent the flight focussing on limiting my sleep, fasting, moving and drinking lots of water, which thankfully left me feeling refreshed and without jet-lag as I stepped out into Japan. At this point, I feel the two environmental irritants of Japan’s heat and humidity will be my only real challenges ahead. Not that I know it yet, but that hypothesis will change markably in the coming days. 

Tokyo was a bustling feast for the senses. But it lacked a sense of the Orient — where was the mystery, the mysticism, the wonder? I stayed in an incredible hotel (Ritz Carlton) with views from my room across the city from the 48th floor. However, I have enjoyed similar views from my hotel in Sydney, New York, Bangkok and many other major business hubs around the world. It is beauty without soul, a jungle of concrete and lights, busy people and busy minds. Trusting in my eventual immersion in the culture of the Orient, I bided my time here in the metropolis for three days before taking the Shinkansen (bullet train) north to Shoani. 

My first morning in Tokyo, I found a beautiful Buddhist temple and attended morning prayers there. This brought a smile to my face as it was my first real sense of passing through a gate on the metropolitan side and arriving into a more esoteric world on the other. 

I continued to fast after my arrival in Japan as my body was enjoying the experience. I was now into my third week, only eating for five hours a day. I wasn’t really sure why or how I started this, but feeling it was nourishing and enjoyable so I went with it. 

After three days of modern Japanese culture, biking through the city, enjoying the food and seeking out those final few rare ancient buildings that flickered an ever diminishing light upon a simpler time for this country, I left Tokyo. 

Once off the bullet train in Niigata, I took a slower train onwards to Tsuruoka, and noticed from my window that everything starting to slow down. I was heading to the region made famous by the Samurai and the Yamabushi. This was a region that fought a civil war against the rest of Japan, *The Boshin War of 1868-1869, where the Samurai and traditionalists tried to reclaim power within the Imperial Court. Tsuruoka city in Yamagata Prefecture were on the losing side of the war. However, the people and the traditions feel like they have never sold out to the demands of modern Japan and the Samurai and Yambushi traditions permeate society within Yamagata. Life here has retained a rare sense of simplicity. Sometimes we may lose a war, but in return we can win our personal freedom, our personal dominion. 

I stand outside the train station admiring the simple town, feeling the heat of the sun on my face and the immense humidity soaking my clothes. I smile and wonder what will lie ahead. 

Part II will follow next week. 

We only have this moment, everything else has passed, and what is to come is unknown, so settle in and learn to enjoy this moment. 

Justin Caffrey

1 Kaizen means “change for the better.” Translated as “good” (kai) “change” (zen), Kaizen is a Japanese philosophy for productivity. It focuses on deliberate, continuous improvement. Kaizen is originally a business strategy, but it works well for any area of your life that needs improvement.

2 The Boshin War 1868-1869, sometimes known as the Japanese Revolution, was a civil war in Japan, fought from 1868 to 1869 between forces of the ruling Tokugawa shogunate and those seeking to return political power to the Imperial Court.  Dates: Jan 27, 1868