My Three Greatest Joys as a Manager

A few weeks ago, one of my former team members texted me to say wassup. We hadn't caught up in many months. We had a quick back and forth, and then she wrote:

"I almost reached out to you last week... I've been in a competitive internal interview process for the past month since coming back from maternity leave..."

"Very nice," I replied, "how can I help?"

"You can congratulate me! :) Your girl got the unofficial!"

And there it was, one of the greatest joys I could experience as a manager.

Here are the three best I could come up with:

First, but not in order of importance: The pride I experience when a current or former team member goes on to do something awesome that he or she is proud of (even if that means leaving my team or our company), to go forth and pursue his or her personal or professional passion is pretty damn awesome. One of my favorite epiphanies from Patty McCord's Powerful, is when she opines that Netflix should be an amazing company to come from. This is counter-intuitive to how many of us think, and it's given me pause to ensure I am serving my team members and their desires, not my own.

I think there are some similarities between being a manager and a parent (of course there are many differences, too). I still recall the swell of pride I felt when my now-fifteen-year-old daughter learned to ride her bike sans training wheels (luckily, my wife captured a video of me rejoicing in the moment, arms raised), and when she leapt into the pool determined to beat me in a breaststroke race. When you invest your energy into any other human, and then he or she is able to accomplish something awesome for themselves, this is an incredible joy, and it's one I cherish.

Next, I love the fulfilling feeling of my team openly embracing the safe, inspiring, and challenging space I aspire to create for us. Every summer for the past four years, I have coordinated a global summit for my Solution Engineering team at our HQ in NYC (sadly, it's unlikely to happen this year). As I rode the train back to Boston after our week together last summer, I received this text from another former team member:

"I hope you are reflecting with pride. You manage with excellence every single day. All of your efforts are appreciated. I hope you continue to share your management philosophy with others forever. It is truly unique."

Of course these words felt amazing, not only because I had invested so much time in the preparation and coordination of our days together, but because it was working! The theme of our summit was "Excellence," inspired by the prodigious work of Tom Peters. It was beyond encouraging to receive these words from a team member because it meant that my efforts towards establishing excellence and building unity among our group was real. (And isn't it a rarity when a team member praises his or her manager? It's usually the other way around. The key is to do it authentically.)

The third joy is about me. Just as parenthood tests you in ways you cannot imagine, being a manager of people forces you to bring your focus to the people you manage. When I take time to pause and reflect, I realize that I am always learning about myself.

I receive the weekly newsletter from the wise Avinash Kaushik, highly recommended. His last post was about books, which I love, and the differences between learning skills / tools vs. learning how to evolve your thinking. In his words:

"I have come to the point of view that often, not always, using a book to get smart on tools is less optimal. Using books to rewire how you think is a magnificent use of books."

I have learned many skills in my years of professional working -- how to code HTML, write a GUI doc, do an nslookup, send a good email, use PPT effectively -- and these are all important tools to have. But since I have become a manager, I have been encouraged, heck forced, to change my mindset, my ways of thinking. I have needed to construct philosophies, erect processes and rules, and confront failure on a weekly basis. There has been no better way to learn. That's why managing people has been the most challenging and joyfully rewarding aspect of my career.

And in these days, our people need us more than ever.

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Thank you for reading this far. I would love your feedback or questions. Be well.