My Thoughts On Our Debut Episode

It’s been just over a week since we released the debut episode of the Colour-Full podcast titled “Why Would I Listen to a White Woman Talk about Race?”. And I feel the time is fitting to explain my role in both the podcast itself and this particular episode.?

The podcast is our avenue to opening up interracial conversations amongst South Africans; calling to attention the realities and complexities of racial identity which we presently acknowledge and understand in silos. While we understand that our fundamental human-ness is what unites us, we are also unwavering in the acknowledgement that our lived experiences and life trajectories will largely differ based on the colour of our skin. The intent of this podcast is not to educate white people – that responsibility lies with them. Instead, the shared vision of Colour-Full is to provide a space for robust dialogue and promote understanding and empathy.?

When Stacy first shared her idea for this podcast with me, I was admittedly triggered. How could she even begin to understand the depth of trauma associated with discussions around race? What was she hoping to achieve by undertaking this exercise? And could she ever meaningfully and authentically create a platform for this kind of discussion given her position as a white woman, recipient of 39 years of privilege and generations before that? During these earlier conversations, I challenged her on what gives her the right to broach this subject. I specifically asked her? “Why would I listen to a white woman talk about race?”?

As we explored and debated the ability of Colour-Full to ever be anything more than a tone-deaf inauthentic means to educate white people, I felt compelled to step into the spotlight. This was because the discussions were happening amongst a team that displayed open-mindedness, empathy, willingness to learn and an intent to create awareness. For me, the conversation started moving away from being a purely intellectual exercise and it shifted toward my innate desire to affect social change. The truth? is that while critically discussing issues of race within own my circles has never been taboo or intimidating, taking it onto the public stage is a different ballgame. Associating myself with this discourse via such a public medium is something that I thought very long and hard about because of the potential consequences on my life. It's important to note that fear of the repercussions for speaking candidly about race in South Africa is not a unique experience for black people. Marginalised groups often face real-life consequences both personally and professionally for speaking up against the system that oppresses them. Even when they do speak out about their experiences, they are often overlooked or dismissed. If I'm being completely honest, I am still scared. But my belief in the vision of Colour-Full outweighs the fear.

And so, as the reviews and feedback following our introductory episode have rolled in, I have experienced a wave of emotions and thoughts that I feel compelled to share. I have grouped the feedback into themes. Here goes…

I was questioned about my ability to fully challenge Stacy and hold her accountable in our interview, given the power dynamics inherent in our professional relationship (Stacy is my colleague and superior in the corporate hierarchy). It's a fair point and to dismiss the underlying power dynamics would be disingenuous and antithetical to the shared vision of Colour-Full. While I acknowledge the validity of these concerns, I trust my ability to navigate through these complexities with integrity and honesty. I have agency and I have chosen to participate in this discourse because I find purpose in challenging the status quo. I am fully empowered to do that via this podcast.?

The next challenge centred around my own privilege and blind spots. It was posed to me that my upbringing, that is me having had to assimilate to whiteness as a means of self-preservation, means that I am inclined to be sympathetic toward Stacy and other white folks. I must admit, this one struck a chord mostly because I detected the subtle, unspoken accusations of being a sell-out or a coconut. Whether or not this was real or imagined, it was difficult to stomach. ?While I can understand the concern, I quite simply don't agree. Although my objective is to approach these discussions with a firm, uncensored and honest perspective, I am equally guided by empathy and a genuine desire to listen and understand. I believe that it is possible, albeit challenging, to strike a balance between being forthright and being compassionate. When I fall short, I expect to be called out. I also want to stress that I don’t claim to be the representative of all black people on this podcast. Blackness is not homogenous; it encompasses a multitude of experiences, perspectives, and identities. There is no singular way to be a black person, and our lived experiences vary widely across cultures, backgrounds, and contexts. That’s where you come in - it’s your opportunity to challenge us with your perspectives, experiences and opinions.??

Lastly, I want to touch on the actual nature of the feedback that both Stacy and I have received because it seems that, even in this, there is an established system that I want to challenge. As our team compared the feedback, we noted with fascination how disparate the responses we received were. For Stacy, the feedback was mostly positive; she was applauded for her bravery and candidness. For me, the feedback was mixed; some positive, some scathing. Of course, I expected this - you can’t get away with speaking about race without eliciting anger (rightly so).? But despite Stacy's acknowledgement of potential tone-deafness in her words and her genuine request for constructive criticism and open challenge, she received mostly positive feedback yet the frustration and critiques towards Stacy were redirected to me. I think this is fascinating and indicative of broader societal dynamics.? After some time reflecting on this, I have reached two possible conclusions about why it played out like this. First, Stacy is either shielded from criticism because of inherent perceptions of white woman fragility. The effect is that feedback is diverted from the very people who need to hear it most. Not being cognisant of this underlying dynamic at the time, when I delivered this feedback to Stacy, I found myself sugarcoating the criticism. Ironically, it was Stacy who called me out on this. Or second, it was a result of the genuine fear of publicly entering an emotionally charged discussion about race with a white woman for fear of repercussions in our own lives. Possibly both.

Whatever it is, as we move forward, I urge our followers to engage, challenge and hold BOTH of us accountable. As two very different individuals, both deeply invested in the potential for social change that this discussion promises, we hope you see the imperatives in sharing your honest opinions, experiences and viewpoints. Stacy has committed to listening, learning and engaging in uncomfortable conversations - I urge you to challenge the structures that shield her from scrutiny and provide your feedback directly to her.