My Thoughts on Ilhan Omar's Marriage, And Why We Need To Support Our Muslim Sisters

The conversation among Americans especially American Muslims after the #coronavirus is the newly announced marriage of Rep. Ilhan Omar. I am astonished by the level of vitriol that is coming from all sides and from people whom I thought would be more open-minded and accepting. Rep. Ilhan Omar has been through so much in her life and yet she shows up every day to represent her congressional district and American Muslims even those who speak ill of her today. Our faith teaches us compassion, where is that compassion for our sister?

Ilhan spent some of her formative life in a refugee camp and raised in a Muslim household like many of us where we are taught that marriage is half of our deen, spiritual completion as a Muslim. Ilhan like many of us including myself married at a young age because this was a cultural norm in our community regardless of whether you are ready for marriage or not. Ilhan is not the first to be in a marriage as a young adult who matured and learned that her first husband was not whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life with for whatever reasons -- that’s her business. If you haven't read the whole story yet, read it here!

Last month, I posted a blog on marriage and raised early marriage as a great concern for us to ponder about and learn from to avoid having our daughters and sisters go through such experiences. Such marriages are no longer feasible in the modern and complex world we live and in fact, they were not feasible in the past. The divorce rate in the American Muslim community in the last 20 years is astounding. I am one of the lucky ones who was married young and lucked out with a compatible husband. We have grown together and unconditionally cherish one another in ways that people can’t believe we have been married for decades.

Again, happy endings in early marriage are not all too common these days for a multitude of reasons such compatibility, imbalance of education among the couple, male inferiority, cultural, racial, and ethnic divides, family meddling, and the one that people fear the most and have trouble understanding, is falling out of love, that is if you were in love in the first place. This happens, this is human nature and we have to make our peace with it. No one should remain a hostage in a marriage.

Now back to Rep. Ilhan Omar, first I ask all to suspend judgment and respect her privacy and personal decision. And yes, I know she publicly announced her marriage as she or any Muslim should do upon marriage. Regardless of what the tabloids say, we should above all understand that this marriage was written for Rep. Ilhan Omar and remember there is always two to every story. As Muslims, we believe Allah prewrites our destiny as human beings. He foresees our birth, our deeds and actions, our livelihood, and our death. Our livelihood includes whom we will spend the rest of our life within this world and the hereafter. For some people, it may take more than one marriage to know who is your soulmate in both worlds and for some, marriage may not be written for you and that is okay.

Marriage is no walk in the park, it requires a lot of giving and take on both sides and requires thoughtfulness and compassion. Without these elements, it won't feel like a partnership that you will want to invest time and energy in. It will become a burdensome relationship no different than sibling rivalry or a bad roommate. Such relationships have left so many scarred and fearful of marriage. It is only with Allah's mercy that individuals ever get a second or final chance at finding happiness.

Allah SWT, with his infinite wisdom, brings comfort in ways we cannot comprehend as human beings. Allah takes into consideration what each of us has endured and when we least expect it, plants people in our lives that bring healing and joy. I believe in my heart this is the case for Rep. Ilhan Omar. Allah brought in to her life someone who is no stranger to the American Muslim community nationally and who is a very good person that has a great deal of respect for our faith and community.

I pray that after reading this post, people will step back and reflect on what our faith teaches us and accept what Allah has written for Rep. Ilhan Omar. In addition, purify our hearts from such judgment on our sister without evidence and remember such attacks on Rep. Ilhan Omar are not only an attack on her, but all Muslim women seeking to complete their deen.