My Ten Commandments : 10 lessons learnt over 20 years for a fulfilling & sustainable long term career in tech

This July, I will complete 23 years in the semiconductor industry. Joining one of the biggest names in the industry just out of college, to starting my own company, going through an acquisition and now leading the Bangalore site for an Asian MNC – all this alongside managing home and raising two boys (+ a turtle, a dog, several cats and a husband) has been quite an eventful journey to say the least.

With International Women’s Day round the corner, I thought it might be as good a time as any , to share some of my biggest learnings from these past two decades and more. I hope it will be of some value to other women going through similar phases in their lives and career,  and am sure that many points would apply to men as well.

Here is my list of top 10 lessons that I have learned through different phases of my career and work life. This includes stuff I could have done much better myself and have had to learn the hard way as well as things I’m  good at, which has worked for me over the years.

1.    Never stop learning

In the early part of your career, go out of your way to pick up skills beyond what is required to do your day to day job. Set aside a couple of hours per week (read “weekends”) to focus your energies on mastering that new algorithm or coding skill or circuit design that may not be required on the job today. You will never get this luxury again where you don’t have additional responsibilities that life will eventually throw at you. This is an investment that you need to make early on which is bound to reap benefits in the future. So not only do you build a skillset and knowledge portfolio that outshines others to keep you ahead, it also cultivates a culture of continuous curiosity that is invaluable throughout your work life and even beyond. With things changing today at such a rapid pace, this is in fact not just a nice to have, but essential for survival.

2.   Invest in friendships

One of the biggest returns from my work life apart from the usual money, fame and success has really been the life long friendships I have made along the way. The right kind of friends are those who will cheer for your success, support when you are feeling low, give feedback about what you're not doing right, and be willing to partner with you on that crazy new idea! And you never know, some of those friends could even end up being your business partner in your new startup venture !  So no matter how busy you are, invest in the right kind of friendships at the workplace - they will be the ones who will make your work life more valuable and much more fun ! 

3.   Don’t be afraid to ask

Never be afraid to ask for what you want. There may be a disconnect between what you believe you deserve, versus what the other side thinks, but unless you ask you will never know. In many cases, you may never get it because you never asked - whether it is some assignment, a specific role, that promotion – it could really be anything – so just go ahead and ask. At the end of the day, there is really nothing to lose ! 

4.   There is no such thing as work life balance ! Its all about choices 

The sooner you realize that there is really nothing like a perfect work life balance, the more peaceful you will be. Your personal life is a reality and it may require more attention than your work at different points. You may either want to focus on those, or decide that your career at that point is more important. But make sure you have those priorities sorted out in your head.

There is no universal right or wrong answer ever, it is always dependent on the context of your situation and yours alone. It is crucial that you understand this and don't let the external world dictate what you should do. What you do need though, is to be aware that there are trade offs involved, so recognize them and make the choice. And once you've done that, don’t fill yourself either with guilt for having made the choice, or with regret for not having made the choice at the right time.

Also recognize that even priorities shift with time , and with life changing events. It could be as joyful as getting married or having a baby or could be painful such as taking care of a sick relative or losing a parent. Remember, it is perfectly normal to want to spend that extra time outside work during any of these phases. Being the mother of two boys, I know how difficult it is to leave your baby and get back to work. Allow yourself that space to be human -  only when you give yourself that permission, will you be able to come back to your career path re-energized.

5. Find your own groove – be yourself

The work place like any other social environment of today is one of intense peer pressure and social media doesn’t make it any easier of course ! You are bombarded by stories of success, by rumours of your colleague earning more than you, the news of a fast track promotion of someone you know and the list goes on and on. If you keep running after these stories and are perpetually trying to catch up, you will end up with nothing but drowning in a whirlpool of comparison anxiety. While a healthy competitive spirit is not a bad thing at all, make sure you don’t lose who you are in the process of running that race and trying to become someone else. We must remember that each person has unique strengths and the only competition that is meaningful is with your own self to fulfil your true potential. For a sustainable long term career that actually brings you joy, it is imperative that you find your own pace and groove that is yours , where you can really be true to yourself.

6.   Get out of your comfort zone every once in a while

Now while finding your own pace is great, getting comfortable and settling down is definitely not ! So don’t be afraid to take risks and as cliched as this may sound, getting out of your comfort zone is fundamental to getting ahead. It is your responsibility to understand what that zone is and when the right time is to climb that new mountain. Do remember though, that you may not succeed at climbing every mountain you set your eyes on. And it is completely okay to make mistakes or fail, as long as you don’t let that define who you are. Instead use the learning as a stepping stone to move forward. 

7.   Save up for a rainy day

Make sure you save up for a rainy day because all days will not bring sunshine whether you like it or not. The earlier you start to save , the better you get at it and the softer  your landing pad will be in case you fall. While making money may not be the sole motivation to work for many, it is definitely one of the top reasons for anyone. So take charge of your finances or even delegate, but always be savvy and aware.

8.   Work hard, but remember to play hard too ! 

Take breaks. Take vacations. Take time off. While work and your career are important, remember that "this" time will never come back again. So whether it is that long pending trek you wanted to go on, or spending that sunny weekday afternoon playing with your toddler in the park or catching up with your best friend – do it. Work extra hard to make up for lost work if you need to - but never cut back on life’s small pleasures. For these are the memories that will stay with you and bring that smile on your face during the low tides in your life. Make the most of the moment lest you get so worried about tomorrow, you forget to savor today. 

9.   Gratitude 

Develop a sense of gratitude. Not to the extent that you give credit for anything good that happens to you to your boss, your team, your parents, your spouse – you get the point !.. But do cultivate the habit of reflecting on what life has given you to truly feel grateful for and what you have accomplished. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. So be grateful to those that helped you get where you are today if for nothing else, for your own sense of well being and happiness. 

10.  Keep the excitement alive ! 

And this is probably the most difficult one, because all of us go through periods in our career and work life where we get the sense of not feeling fulfilled or feel dull. But I am sure there are enough days when you felt like you were on top of the world !

It is crucial to record and make notes of these days so that it helps you identify that one thing or pattern of things (or many if you are lucky), that you feel passionate about. And it is perfectly okay if that “thing” changes through the years.

It could be a challenging design goal at one point to growing your team at another, making money, mentoring individuals, championing an initiative, building your business idea – whatever it is, find something that excites you to get to work every day and never lose sight of “why” you are doing it.

Because there will be days when you want to quit and throw in the towel, but it is that spark of passion and your clarity of the bigger picture, that will keep you going.  Trust me at the end of the journey you will realize the rewards for yourself and the million reasons why it was a darn good decision not to quit !