My story, inspired by a man: Dr. Alan Merten, who left a powerful legacy

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. —William James

Where are the courageous men who leave a legacy, a life well spent of uncompromising integrity; daring to expose evil of the day with good character/moral aptitude; passing on timeless truth, applied wisdom, and invaluable wealth to future generations, as well as, countless others?

I knew an unforgettable man like this, that left an indelible imprint upon my life, whose memory and powerful legacy will continue to fuel my heart and mission. 

My story, inspired by a man: Dr. Alan Merten, who left a powerful legacy

Despite being in a domestic violence relationship four years, three months, and twenty-age days, I desperately wanted to return to college and finish my undergraduate degree for a fresh start. 

Waiting for George Mason University’s President’s introduction, Dr. Alan Merten, I was a bit apprehensive because of not knowing what to expect from an institution of higher learning I had only just been accepted into three weeks prior. It was quite momentous, as I glanced around the bustling room of about two hundred fifty transfer students. We were quickly directed to sit at the round covered tables with assigned numbers; adorned by a few green (apparently, one of the school colors) takeaways: Mason pens, plastic cups, and white writing pads.       

This clean-cut grandfather-like figure, with shining silver hair, smiling broadly and clad in his characteristic green jacket and yellow striped tie, bounded onto the boxed stage, with his larger-than-life persona, which seemed to fill the entire space. The well-noted scholar, but down to earth fella made all the participants feel warm and appreciated; something, I really needed at the time.

For some odd reason, I just felt like I was in the right place, where it was safe listening to him. This man standing at the elevated podium, put me in a dream-like state, where all things were possible. Miraculously, my concerns and fears, housed deep within me, seemed to drip away like hot wax.  

After mentioning all the benefits and perks of being a GMU student, Dr. Merten paused, and then uttered boldly these powerful words, which would forever alter the trajectory of my life. He declared authoritatively, “Transfer students, look around the room,” which we immediately did. “You fine young men and women were brought to Mason to change the world.”

Something, inside of me hung on his every word, as time froze. I just knew he was speaking truth to the part of my heart, the real me, which longed to accomplish great feats, but was never given the permission to do so.  

The rest of the 2-hour session I do not recall, but his reverberating words had already deposited mighty seeds of greatness. After all left, I lingered, running my fingertips over the tops of the green cushioned chairs, as I considered impacting millions of lives in the near future.   

Now, undeterred, I felt obligated to execute the fine president’s words, which lead me to do research, education, and advocacy in the field of healthy dating promotion, after leaving the negative relationship one month later. This brought me to the work I am doing now with counseling, coaching, traumatized 16-24-year-old men, and fellas stuck there due to trauma in an innovative program called Crisis to Courage.

Yesterday, when I talked to the alum department about a project we were discussing, it got me reminiscing about this very story, only to learn later from the monthly university email, that Dr. Merten had passed after a long fight with Parkinson’s disease.

It hurt deeply to think about losing such a dynamic leader, who had inspired me and so many other GMU students to execute on the dreams within, and not to quit when the circumstances were trying.

I became even more resolved to execute this #crisistocourage calling!

Thinking about his incredible life, made me realize the power of a man, living with bold intention, and focused on leaving a legacy, which will outlast him, and whose influence would continue to impact generations.

(I will honor your memory Dr. Alan Merten, by reaping the seeds of greatness you planted when I learned from you that changing the world was indeed, possible).  

Pixabay Contributor

Take from GMU’s Alumni email:

“Dear Mason Alumni and Friends,

 . . . “But today I am also writing to share some sad news. Alan Merten, the university’s fifth president, passed away yesterday after a brave battle with Parkinson’s disease. Dr. Merten diligently served George Mason from 1996 through 2012; his leadership was instrumental in creating the university we now know. President Merten and his wife, Sally, have been part of the fabric of our Mason community for decades, and we extend our heartfelt sympathies to their family and all who knew and loved him. While he has passed on, his Mason legacy will endure.”

Thank you for reading.

Your thoughts are very appreciated.

Researcher’s Bio

Karen Bontrager helps 16-24-year-old men, and fellas stuck there due to complex trauma, make permanent shifts in their behavior from merely surviving in life to thriving through transparent coaching/counseling in one-on-one conversations and in group work, and through topic sensitive trauma-informed workshops in a program called, “From Crisis to Courage.” With this ontological approach, I partner with my clients to discover their essence, (aka highest and best self) by powerfully reflecting and listening to them. My clients quickly learn how to generate self-awareness and to voice their own relationship needs in a clear, constructive way by learning key coaching techniques/evidenced based counseling approaches/tools to work past their traumatic events and addictions to move forward. The clients are then equipped to develop healthy relationships with key relationships: parents/siblings/friends, and with intimate dating partners because they have learned how to proactively use their voice.

She does a weekly Relationships Matter Monday LI article for 16-24-year-old men and fellas stuck there due to trauma, is a frequent contributor here, and has a bi-monthly podcast called Crisis to Courage to give gentlemen an honorable platform for learning how to use their voices in a way which gets respected, instead of turning to the old standbys: anger, isolation, and numbing behavior, so they can be the men they were made, formed, and created to be.

Crisis to Courage Podcast for Men Links below:

Anchor: https://anchor.fm/karen-bontrager

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crisis-to-courage/id1498623443?ign-mpt=uo%3D4

Breaker: https://www.breaker.audio/crisis-to-courage

Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy8xMzZhMmVjYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw%3D%3D

Overcast: https://overcast.fm/itunes1498623443/crisis-to-courage

Pocket Casts: https://pca.st/zcj8iiu7

Radio Public: https://radiopublic.com/crisis-to-courage-WlK59w

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1AInJsoaWL4X8WGiHaKk51