My Story

Let me begin by saying I am not attention seeking with this post (I know, if you have to say it, is it true?).?I’d prefer to not even compose it.?I am not looking for empathy or sympathy and nobody is under any obligation to reach out to me.?This post is not intended for the general public consumption but LinkedIn just happens to be a good platform for me to reach many people simultaneously - those who I have a real relationship with, you know who you are.?Had there not been what I deemed rumors swirling about me in my network, I would not have elected to tell my story so publicly.?But, alas, the record needs to be set straight.?Unfortunately, at this time, this is not a feel-good story with a happy ending.?But I remain positive, if not outright optimistic.

Here's my story….

In Spring 2020 I began experiencing strange symptoms that ran the gambit from gastro-intestinal to neuropathic.?I chalked it up to the stress of Covid-19 on top of many of the countries major and beloved cities being burnt in protest.?It was a lot to take in.?I ignored my symptoms until Fall 2020 when I was briefly hospitalized.?The ER found nothing but encouraged me to continue follow-up with my primary care physician.?My PCP suggested that I get CT scan for more info.?Being a stubborn tough guy, I declined as I recovered and was feeling ok at the time.?

Fast forward to early January 2021, maybe it was a resolution of sorts, I decided to get the CT scans done.?Turns out my abdomen was riddled with foreign growths and so off to Dana Faber I went.?The next 2 months were a series of tests and biopsies to identify my illness.?It was a stressful time.?Finally in March 2021 I had an official diagnosis – Pancreatic Neuro-Endocrine Tumor (PNET), also referred to as Islet Cell Tumor.?I have a highly advanced tumor on my pancreas along with distant metastases in my Lymph Nodes, Adrenal Glands, Liver and even some in my bones.?Not great news.?For those who may have followed him, this is what got Steve Jobs eventually.?

On April 1, 2021 I began a chemo regimen, which in my estimation was fairly convenient.?It was all oral pills.?Normal side effects, slight nausea and fatigue.?I learned to manage these and continued to work with slight adjustments to my schedule based on where I was in a chemo cycle.?Even though I knew I was capable of more at 100%, to my delight, my output was not greatly affected.?I promised myself if my output was ever compromised, it would be identified by me first and no one else.

Fast forward to January 2022, I am scheduled for a progress CT scan.?However at the time, I am at a peak of a chemo cycle, where side effects are the greatest.?Between the CT imaging and my physical condition, my Oncologist decided it was time to adjust my chemo regimen.?This was obviously disappointing but not surprising.?

This brings me up to the present.?I am now on an infusion regimen.?For anybody curious, it is called FOLFOX.?It is a time-consuming infusion that takes 3 days every other week.?On my second cycle now, I can tell you it is painful and has taken some wind out of my sails.?The discomfort and fatigue are forces to be reckoned with.?For this reason I have opted to take a leave of absence in order to focus on my personal mental and physical health and just as importantly, if not more-so, quality time with my beautiful family, Libby, Adeline and Brant.?My wife has been an amazing advocate and carried more than her fair share of the load over the past year – truly an amazing person.

For anybody who has ever been through a scare with serious illness, forefront of mind, if not a bit morbid, is prognosis.?It’s a reality we all must deal with at some point and I for one have never had a significant fear of death.?Sure, I don’t want to leave money on the table but we all carry on knowing each day is one closer to our final destination.?Further, you may have heard terms like “curable” and “treatable”.?In passing you may not contemplate it but seeing them juxtaposed the difference is obvious.?For me, it is the latter.?That’s as far as I will go on that topic.?

So again, it was not my desire to create this post but I felt it necessary given the rumor-mill.?Now, I heard it mentioned that I was “gravely ill” – this is mis-informed.?I have taken the position that I am stronger than any statistical prognosis would suggest.?I am simply taking some time to build myself back up – nothing more, nothing less.?In closing I would like to leave you with a prayer. One need not be religious to appreciate the wisdom in these words;

“God, grant me the Serenity

To accept the things I cannot change...

Courage to change the things I can,

And Wisdom to know the difference.

?

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His will.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen.”