My Silent Retreat Experience

Then, five days into the six day silent meditation retreat, Buddha appeared to me in a meditation…

…and he told me something profound…

…which I’ll share with you here very soon.

If you have seen my post from a week ago, I went to a Buddhist retreat center to spend six days in silence.

It was difficult, it was hard, my mind was angry…

…but so worth it.

Here’s a little about the experience – I’ll talk about the logistics, then my experience, and what Buddha whispered in my ear.

The retreat took place in Devon, UK, around three hours west of where I live in the UK, at a place called Gaia House, which is dedicated to Buddhist retreats.

It was totally silent – no talking from dinner on the first day, to breakfast on the sixth. There were around 40 in person, and 20 that joined online in a livestream.

We meditated from 7 AM to 9:15 PM every day, basically all day. Normally this alternated between “sitting” (on a cushion and meditating) and “walking” (walking extremely slow, concentrating on every step – covering maybe 10 meters in a minute.) Each session was 30 to 45 minutes long to avoid getting to stiff or tired.

There was no cell phones, electronics, or even reading & writing. The purpose was to be in our own experience for the entire time.

If you had a question about something you could ask a coordinator in a whisper when not around others. Or you could jot down an insight in a notebook. Nothing was really a “law”, though everyone got it and adhered in the spirit of the retreat.

We were encouraged to use everything as part of our Dharma (meditation.)

There were the three meals, all vegan and gluten free, and a short rest after meals.

We would eat in silence, and most all of us ate one spoonful / forkful at a time, with a pause in between to truly TASTE the food. I could even pick out individual ingredients, thinking about their journey from where they began all the way to my plate. Often I would say thanks between bites, for the upcoming mouthful of food.

Getting through a bowl of morning porridge would take 20 minutes. It was a beautiful process.

We also had work duties for an hour, and my job was to mop, vacuum, and dust, which again was an extension of my meditation.

(Believe me when I tell you there is no place as clean as a meditation center – it was the highlight of my day, so happy to be doing SOMETHING!)

That’s a bit about the logistics; here’s more about what I experienced personally;

First, myself and many of the retreatants experienced massive tiredness the first two full days, which included a lot of sleeping.

I believe this is because we are holding onto so much in our everyday life.

Then, when you are in the simplicity of the retreat, where there is literally nothing to do all day and no responsibilities, it all just falls away, and you get to release. Your body can relax and you can sleep and regenerate yourself.

r even leaving.

These long times of meditation did give me a chance to deepen into my practice.

I even got to a point, by playing around, and experimenting with different processes, to find a specific practice that moved me to tears (of joy) every single time.

In fact, I’ve thought about recording it as a guided meditation and sending it to whomever wants it. So if you’re interested, drop a comment here and let me know.

Mentally it was quite a process. Even though I was having these amazing meditations, I found myself VERY BORED.

Like manically bored, and I would get angry and annoyed that I had nothing to do.

I was prepared for this, and knew my mind and ego would play this game.

Even so, it was hard. It tried to trick me into breaking the rules; talking to people, turning on my phone, or even leaving. I’m glad I was mentally ready for it, to know to ignore that chatter.

That’s when, on the last full day, I went into the meditation hall just after lunch, when no one else was there, and placed myself in the center front to meditate and ask for guidance.

After relaxing into the meditation, I envisioned Buddha there in front of me.

I asked him what wisdom he had for me.

He looked lovingly at me and answered simply “Michael, you don’t need to worry about anything. I have it all covered.”

At that point I just “got it.”

I’ve understood before about letting go of control, and giving problems up to a higher power – sometimes called “surrendering” – though lately it’s been an understanding only on the mental level. I wasn’t living it.

In that moment, a few days ago, I knew and understood that message in my mind, body, and soul.

I knew that everything is good. Sometimes things will come up in life, and they will get resolved.

Often without me needing to do anything, much less worrying and stressing.

The universe has my back, and I just have to let it flow and do it’s thing.

Since then – and after being back – the world has slowed down, and I feel that I understand most everything to a greater level.

Life is flowing so easily, and I’m just along for the ride.

Anna and I are so much more connected (she just got back from some deep training as well) and life is truly joyful and blissful.

We’ve had amazing, deep conversations in just the short time I’ve been back, moving us both to tears.

I see how things interconnect. When someone speaks, I understand what they are truly saying. I pick up on the smallest of subtleties and know what they are about.

It’s a great way to go through life.

All thanks to a bunch of silence and that little whisper from the Buddha.