My self-imposed “car boot” sleepover

Being organised and ahead of things was something that seemed to work in my house growing up. The key appeared to be the plethora of wiro-bound shorthand notebooks that were dotted around our house: a list for shopping on the kitchen counter by the always-on radio; another one at random locations by the phone, by the bed, just in case..for general lists. And the ultimate: the mega holiday checklist. LAMINATED. Which made us laugh. Still does. It still exists.

It was also great to have a magic washing basket that was always magically empty. When a few items did start to rise up its wicker walls, they would be scooped up and the house searched for lingering minging items to make up the wash load. To keep on top of it. Come to think of it, they didn’t have to be all that minging.

Unbeknownst to me, the “must keep on top of things and always stay in control” mantra, coupled to these household habits must have left a few DNA epigenetic footprints along the way and evolved (?) into religious email inbox emptying and planning. Anticipating need. Staying on top of it. Being super useful to everyone as it ‘tis the reason for my existence, etc.

So at Schiphol airport on my way back from a conference, the email monster was crying to be fed, so I opened up the lid (big mistake) and fed it. My hood went up enclosing me and PC against the world. Time whooshed by, stolen by the desperate needs of sales reps. They are always so grateful.

Somewhere in my subconscious, my name rang out and with panic I realised it was the final call. I ran the 2km to the gate only to realise somewhere along the way KLM decided to move the chess pieces just for fun and I had to turn back to the centre to go up the other spoke to another gate. Another 2km. Got told off by a very tall and blue-suited stern KLM official. Gate shut. New flight made for 6am.

The walk of shame to the Yodel Hotel and restless kip in a car boot-like bed for what seemed like 25 minutes before starting again.

So what did THAT teach me?

• Multi-tasking in airports is not for me. Seriously, I’ve been on calls with colleagues who can juggle a conference call and pass through security at the same time. Hats off to you. I shall plug into my podcast and watch the flights board from now on, thanks.
• The email monster gets fatter when I feed it. They just come back for more. She’s so helpful.
• Without me, sales reps find a way anyway. A more sustainable way.
• Striving for gratification is a losers game.
• Busy-ness doesn’t equate to value.
• My needs matter. More than anyone else’s.

All very logical. All changeable habits…but what I found key to lasting change, as opposed to slipping back into old ways once the week gets going, was a fundamental de-activation of the DNA footprint laid down in my young impressionable years.

See that email from desperate rep or colleague? Wait a bit before answering, especially and crucially, if a solution already exists that doesn’t involve you. Watch how the Universe can operate quite well actually, without you.

If the Universe can operate quite well without your email responses, what does that tell you?

“I’m not important or needed here.”

Not exactly.

How about: “I’m meant for something bigger.”

What mental shift do you need to make to break free of old thinking patterns and into something better?