My Self Esteem and Choosing a Career
Chris Aluta
Management Consultant |Teen Coach & Mentor | Facilitator |Podcaster| Advisory Board
There is so much happening in the world today that revolves around self-esteem, especially amongst teenagers and young adults. According to multiple verifiable research, teenage suicide, which is at its highest in the world , is mostly driven by low self-esteem amongst teens and young adults. The United state Centers for Disease Control (CDC) says that suicide is the third leading cause of death (2001-2021) amongst youths between the ages of 10 and 24. Each day in the United state, there are an average of over 5,400 suicide attempts by young people grades 7-12(CDC). A 10-year study conducted by Brigham Young University (BYU) found that a high level of early social media and/or television use in early adolescence, followed by increased use as children get older, is the most predictive of suicide risk in girls. For boys, video games were associated with increased suicide risk when they reported cyberbullying within the games, like live games where players speak to one another via headsets.
Bringing it Home to Nigeria
In Nigeria, SURPIN (Suicide Research and Prevention Initiative) has found that about one-fifth of suicide cases seen at its affiliated institution are those aged 13-19 years, and that over 50 per cent of the crisis calls received through its hotlines are from those aged 13- 29 years; 27.8 per cent were students. Current data analysis indicates that there are about 122.5 million internet users in Nigeria as of January 2023 with 31.6m of this number on social media. Facebook 21.75m, YouTube 31.60m, Instagram 7.10m, LinkedIn 7.5m, Snapchat 12.35m X (formerly known as Twitter).
According to Dr. Raphael Ogbolu, a consultant psychiatrist, Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) Idi Araba and coordinator?SURPIN, most of the rising trends of suicide cases amongst teens in Nigeria can be linked to the uncontrolled exposure of teens to the virtual world. We have children who will become sad because they cannot show off pictures of their family on vacation abroad when they see their mates showing off such pictures, even if they are fake. This in turn can affect self-worth and lead them to question. This is made worse by a technological world where someone can create a photo-shopped image of a ‘beautiful’ person. All this does is to diminish the self-esteem of a child who already lacks self-belief and confidence.”
What is Self Esteem
We defined Self Esteem to be the overall personal evaluation of one's worth.
According to renowned American psychologist, Abraham Maslow in his Hierarchy of Human Needs, Self Esteem is in two parts: the one that comes from others respecting teens and the one that comes from a teenager respecting and valuing him or herself.
Our major focus is on the value a teenager places on themselves, which they believe to be true, over and above the opinion of others. Others would be their parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and the world in general. With the right self esteem or value on oneself, choosing a career and the learning challenges that may come with it, would be an enjoyable experience just as in the words of Mark Anthony “if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life”.
Choosing a Career
The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word "career" as a person's "course or progress through life (or a distinct portion of life)". This definition relates "career" to a range of aspects of an individual's life, interests, learning and vocation. A healthy social and public self-esteem has been linked to increased academic achievement and a higher level of intelligence, which can have a direct impact on the career choices of teenagers (Hasanvand B, Khaledian M. The relationship of emotional intelligence with selfesteem and academic progress. Int J Psychol Behav Sci. 2012;2(6):231-236. doi:10.5923/j.ijpbs.20120206.06).
Self Esteem and Career Choice
How should we as parents help teens with regards to choosing a career? Should we choose a career for our teens just as most of our parents did for us, or should we allow them to choose while we guide them? Whatever we decide to do as parents is up to us. From our experience working closely with teens over the past 15 years, we would make the following suggestions to parents as they ponder their answer to the question above.
领英推荐
As their parent, you instinctively know your teen and what areas they excel in. When supporting them to choose a career, we suggest that you guide their choice in such a way that connects with their self-esteem. Help them choose from a place of strength, guide them to fight life from a place of strength. If your teens is very good at arts, demanding that they become a medical doctor might just be setting them up to go at life from a place of struggle or weakness and yes I know we can become anything we want to be as long as we put our minds to it, but the truth is, we also have innate talent that as a guide towards our purpose. Failing when doing something you love and falling when doing something you don’t love, has varying impact on one’s self esteem.
2. Help them get relevant exposure as much as possible.
Imagine when you were a teenager and how all the exposures your own parents gave you helped shape your career choices? As much as possible, do all you can to extend that same opportunity to your teens, especially now that we live in a global village. Take them to theater shows, museums, sports events like the world cup, us open Tennis championship, Lagos polo club competition, IBB Abuja golf club competition, Disney land, CNN studios, Channel Tv studio, Fintech conference, hackers conference, To Be Honest with Uncle Kris teen workshop. The list can go on and on. Any relevant exposure you can afford to help broaden their imagination. This should broaden their career choice board, while guiding them along their decision.
3.Manage Your Attitude towards your own Career.
Parents of teens are their first and most important role model. Hence parents should be aware of their influence on their teens career choices based on the attitude they as parents display on their own careers. As parents, we should also take some time to think about how our own career might be setting an example for our teens. ?If they see us enjoying our career, they’ll know it’s possible to find something they enjoy too as a career. Teenagers most times will act like they are careless about what parents are doing, but they are watching and paying close attention. Lead by example by building a career you love doing it with passion and integrity.
4. Make the Home a Safe Place to Recover from Mistakes
Due to the ever-changing work environment, It is possible to have teenagers and young adults between the ages of 13-24, change their career choice again and again. The pressure of getting one’s career choice right is very intense and can be scary too.
As parents we must show them that it’s okay if they are learning and shifting towards something that aligns with their interests, strengths, and values and to achieve that, things can change, failure can occur, and the home is a safe place to always come back to for recuperation and sober reflection.
Other Suggestions
Get them to regularly practice Self-Affirmation
Pass onto them a well-communicated family value that you also practice.
Sign your teens up for mentoring sessions with career advisors and accountability partners.
Allow them to take various personality type tests that can also help their decisions on their career. Personality tests such Holland’s personality Types and https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test.
This will be all for now and until next time, thank you for reading. Please feel free to share feedback and do let us know if there is any way we can be of assistance to you and your teenagers.
Virtual Mentoring Workshop Saturday 11th November 5pm
Kindly remind your teens of this Saturday’s (11th November) mentoring workshop and ensure their Saturday evening is free from 5 to 6pm.
Thank you.
Mentor a teenager each day!
Chris Aluta
Teen coach & Mentor I Podcaster
Change Management Consultant I Speaker I Leadership Coach https://anchor.fm/krisoaluta