My Second Year as a Ph.D. Student.

Before I embarked on writing this piece, I read through my ‘My first year as a PhD Student’.

Update

I mentioned about the workload within the PhD program, well that’s still the case. In my experience, and this might be the same in most social sciences degree programs in South Korea, the course work requirement is a whole load – which I think to be unnecessary; but is still learning, nonetheless. What this means is that you probably need to dedicate 2 full years to fulfill the course work requirements (attending lectures, doing assignments, and sometimes exams) and what’s most annoying is that in a few cases this means taking classes that you’re really not interested in and/ or are not aligned with your intended dissertation). Also, as a scholarship student, sponsored for only 3 years, it means that after fulfilling the coursework requirements, I am left with 1 out of the 3 years PhD sponsorship program to complete my PhD dissertation research - which is almost impractical especially if the sponsorship program does not support field work research expenses, as is my case. At the end of my second year, I have fulfilled my course requirements - which earned me a Certificate of Completion, and next I will be embarking on my dissertation project full time.

After my first year of PhD, I still wasn’t clear about what I wanted to research on, but after my second year it is increasingly becoming clearer what my interests are, and which direction I wish to pursue – collective action & civil society, participatory democracy, developmental governance. I will now focus on learning from published professionals, which means reading mostly journal materials and project reports that focus on governance, collective action, civil society, governance reforms, democracy and so on in preparation for my dissertation research project. That’s the update as far as the PhD academic program itself is concerned.

I still consider myself an introvert, and so networking and making new friends still takes me a painfully longer time relative to my circle of friends. To make me not feel too bad about it, I like to cheer myself by thinking that this could only mean that I’m more emotionally intelligent than them *wink. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t really matter, what matters is that I am then able to work through my introversion.

Occasionally I still feel like my life is on stagnation while thinking that my peers have taken many strides in life. Isn’t this what God means when He commands that we not covet? A very fair commandment because (at least in my experience) covetousness only brings disappointments and pain. One thing has helped me though, learning that people are different – the futures we face, our past, and our current situations are all different. Therefore, I live my life, run it on my own lane, and make my rules as I go. Luckily for me none of my family/ friends/ peers pile(d) pressure on me to do/ accomplish anything and so any pressures I feel are squarely self-imposed – here I'd like to conveniently blame the society too *wink. Change of mentality, attitude, and keeping busy has helped me overcome this pressure I keep heaping on myself. I will not rush myself anywhere; see, I prayed and worked diligently for a better tomorrow and when that tomorrow came, I still prayed and struggled for a better tomorrow. So now I decided that I will live on the tomorrow that I prayed and worked for – here and now. That is why on my second year of PhD I went out a lot more, biked a lot more, and tried to laugh a lot more too.

Life

Life on a student budget is like living on a lifeboat of some sorts, you can’t bring in more expenses because then you drown in debts and at the same time you do not have enough time to spare to earn extra income.

This has been quite a challenge, especially when coupled with the dating, and the entitlement mentality that comes with being 'more learned' than the average person. The entitlement mentality has been real with me and has sadly brought me many low-energy days as I wallow in dissatisfaction with what I have done with my life so far. The feeling that I need to be paid a lot more (by who and for what, I didn’t care) just because I am a PhD student – that feeling constantly visits me, I struggle with it, and by the time the feeling goes away, I am tired and unmotivated, maybe even entertaining thoughts of quitting. It would be another entitlement if I thought other professionals don’t feel the same – I guess it’s life after all, or maybe not. Maybe it's just adulting.

And then there is the whole lot of rejected job applications. My mailbox has several hundreds (maybe I have gotten into the thousands already) of job rejection emails, and this only exacerbate the fear of failure and ‘amounting to nothing with a PhD’. Sometimes however, to keep myself going strong, I have entertained the snobbish & arrogant attitude that possibly it is the case that most of these recruiting panels receiving my applications are just intimidated by my success and may not be able to afford me and hence the rejection *wink. In many other situations, it is the imposter syndrome that bogs me down. All in all, I am cultivating a prayerful response to deal with the sorrows and disappointments and disillusionment of many rejected job applications, and it works for me. I am also sharpening my skills as one response to the imposter syndrome problem.

Hold my cup for a moment, my second year of the PhD journey wasn’t doom and gloom…

Biking and Hiking in South Korea

Biking has been a getaway from books for me, it has been my hobby, and my holiday. I am ever grateful to Dr. Opar David and Prof. Maurico Leslie for introducing me to the many biking trails crisscrossing the whole of South Korea, as well as the biking passport program that has helped me keep on track with this newfound biking love.

Taking breaks from schoolwork, I have found myself spending many hours biking, and covering so much ground on two wheels. From February to August 2021, I have covered more than 1500km on my bike. In February 2021, my friends and I went biking from Incheon to Busan, a cross country fete of at least 633km and biking over 30 hours spread within 6 consecutive days - I called it #tourdekorea. I have never taken such a challenge in my life, at least physically. This was an amazing trip for sure, I experienced the Korea that most tourists/ foreigners will probably never see. I pushed myself to the limit physically - at one point cycling Ihwaryeong hill that dragged on for about 5km - an incline all the way to the top! On one of the biking days we even biked in darkness - night fell on us, and we cycled to our destination after dark. Cycling up Ihwaryeong hill taught me mental fortitude, and so for me any challenge I face today I liken it to cycling uphill - lower the gear, keep pedaling, break the goal into smaller steps, and to an important part, scream and let the stress out. #tourdekorea - the thrill, the physical stress, the beautiful sceneries, the wholesome experience and just the thought of it all was and still is AMAZING! At the end of August 2021, I went on a solo biking tour around Korea's Jeju island, cycling along the shores of the East and Yellow seas almost the whole time and enjoying the view of the seas from all sides of the island, completing the whole journey within 24 hours (12hrs of biking time), and covering a distance of 234km. The next adventure may be the East Coast bicycle trail (another 250km or so).

On the hiking front, I have hiked 3 of the 5 highest mountains in Korea, and I am keen to visit all the 21 national parks (mountain or otherwise), hopefully by the end of my 3rd year of PhD. An amazing part of the hiking was hiking Hallasan in deep winter - this allowed me experience snow in a different and especially beautiful way. Dr. Opar, his wife my sister Dr. Sarah, Reyna and myself took the challenge/ adventure of hiking Hallasan mountain mid January of 2021 - usually the coldest month in Korea. On the mountain, snow was knee-deep and we needed special hiking gear to navigate the snow covered mountain. You have to have gone with us to appreciate that beautiful experience in full.

Both the cycling and national park tour stamp passports help you stay motivated as you chase those stamps. Biking, hiking, and solving puzzles have given me many instances of accomplishment to balance well with the feelings of lack of accomplishment from the academic side. With every kilometer I did on my bike, with every stamp on my biking and hiking stamp passports, with every activity I tracked on my Relive app (https://www.relive.cc/?hl=en) I was refreshed, got inspired, sorted my attitude, and went on to work better.

I am now on my last year of formal schooling for my PhD program. Publications, dissertations, numerous pages to read & articles to write, and more biking, hiking, and running wait me… Home sickness, creative stagnation during my writing phases that could take weeks on end, the surreal feeling of being on my final year before I exit school, and the fear of what is to come next – potentially another move…these are some of the emotional roller coasters that I have experienced.

Reading everything…, and then reading nothing! Bike, hike, and then read everything.... and then read nothing....

Onto the third, and last!

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