My safety is not my responsibility alone

The murder of Sarah Everard has again brought to the fore our societal response to violence against women.

Hannah – Louise Shergold did a quick survey of her team this week: https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/hannah-louise-shergold-7b8910186_the-women-of-fully-grown-activity-6776444948729491456-QzOs

It might make for shocking reading for some, it might make you wonder ‘but what was she doing when it happened’ but, for many women, we just ticked off the ones we’d experienced and added some more of our own.

I have been sexually harassed and assaulted by ‘friends’, work colleagues and strangers. I have been conditioned to believe that I alone am responsible for my safety – I must dress appropriately, I must wear flat shoes, I must be aware of how my words could be interpreted, I must not walk alone at night, I must choose well lit, public areas, I must remember to throw my bag in one direction, whilst running in the other, I must shout ‘Fire’ not ‘Rape’ or ‘Help’, and I’ve been covering my drink since the 90’s.

This week the women in the areas surrounding Clapham common were told to stay inside, for their safety. When they did come out, they were manhandled and arrested by the Metropolitan police.

Women don’t need to hide, or cover, or be pleasing, or say the right trigger word – men just need to stop hurting us. And of course it’s not all men, but;

Threats against women are mostly by men,

Violence against women is mostly by men,

Women are mostly murdered by men.

Not all men commit crimes against women, but all men have the ability to make our existence safer. It’s not about crossing the road, uncovering your face, walking a female friend home or chastising a friend for cat calling – although these things help.

It’s not about learning a long list of do’s and don’ts, although there are plenty out there to get you started.

It’s about being responsible; it’s about asking yourself this.....

Does what you are about to say/fail to say/do/fail to do – value me?