“Living life on your terms doesn’t mean changing in drastic and lofty ways, nor is it denying or attempting to change factors outside of your control. It is made up of subtle yet consistent choices that are within your control and aligned with who you are and what you want.” - Page 15
Title: Boldly Belong: The Power of being You in a Disabling Society
Category: Non-fiction, Business Diversity and Inclusion
10-Word Summary: Disabled people can thrive on their own terms without compromise.
Boldly Belong: The Power of Being You in a Disabling Society by disability advocate, speaker, author, and consultant Julie Harris is a cathartic and riveting read that deeply explores the effects of disability stigma and societal and institutional ableism in disabled peoples’ lives and proposes a solution, helping disabled people overcome the internal and external barriers to full participation in society that wasn’t built for them and learn how to be authentically themselves. Her target audience is disabled individuals who want more out of their lives than to be at society’s mercy.
Through a series of practical exercises and strategies it pushes the reader to reflect on themself and their place in society and uncover their true self divorced from all internalized and externalized stigma. Harris states that accepting one’s limitations due to disability is valid and focuses on learning how to live life authentically within the limitations of one’s disability rather than pretending one’s disability isn’t there or trying to mask or eliminate it. Harris says that self-acceptance is the key to finding belonging rather than trying to fit in or framing your reality in an unrealistically optimistic manner.
- What is the thesis—or main argument—of the book? - On Page 8, Harris states “You can’t just push through and choose not to be disabled. And you don’t have to be at the whim of society’s treatment. By learning that your needs are a priority and that external rules, judgements, and expectations are not a priority, you can stop settling. You can recognize that society is disabling, and proactively choose to provide your brain with better input. You can stop living a life dictated by society’s treatment of you.” This particular quotation resonated with me on such a deep level that it made me reflect on how I’ve lived my own life, trying to mask my neurodivergence and pretend that I’m someone I’m not in order to fit society’s mold of what success should mean.
- I used to push through everything believing that if I just worked hard enough then I would have everything I want and everything would work out by my effort alone, and that society awarded merit. As long as I could be perfect in the eyes of society I could get whatever I wanted. When I learned that society rewarded status, power, and wealth rather than merit, that illusion was shattered. I went through life believing that if you were disabled for any reason other than physical, you were untouchable and permanently condemned to a terrible fate, like it was a disease. In my experience when learning about neurodiversity, I came to a similar conclusion as Harris, that disability isn’t a bad word and it’s okay to be disabled. Being disabled doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to a good quality of life and it isn’t a license for people to trample all over you for being disabled. When you have the tools for empowerment you have the tools to fight back and proactively claim your rightful place in society. In me it has accomplished a feeling of both empowerment and proactivity.
- What exactly is the subject or topic of the book? - In my opinion, Harris covers the subject of Boldly Belong in a remarkably balanced and comprehensive fashion overall. She is topical and analytical in her approach and provides numerous citations from psychological, medical, and academic journals, thus bolstering both her credibility and professionalism. Not only that, but she breaks every subject down in an approachable manner, as if she’s talking to you like you’re having a conversation with a friend. She never talks down to you and always makes sure that you are able to understand what she is talking about while she respects the intelligence of her target audience. The main topic of the book is how internalized and externalized stigma from society can affect disabled people and their thought process, decision-making, and overall wellbeing and how one can rise above that barrier of stigma by reframing all of the above.
- How does the author support their argument? - Harris supports her argument that disabled people can indeed live full lives being authentically themselves by showing disabled people not only how they can discard the stigmatizing toxic beliefs from society about disability, but also by approaching the effect of these toxic beliefs with compassion and a trauma-informed perspective. Early in the book she goes through the history of society’s perception of disability and stigma towards it as well as the gradual changes in attitudes towards it over the years culminating in the rise of the disability rights movement which began to confront the stigma and promote much more acceptance towards disability as a whole. Comparing Boldly Belong with other books on neurodiversity and disability I’ve read as well as all the research I read on neurodiversity and disability before reading this book, it is consistent with almost everything else I’ve read on the subject especially in its message of promoting acceptance of disability as a part of life rather than trying to remove it from society.
- How does the author structure their argument? - The book is divided into 4 parts: Part 1: Stigmas Lie reviews the lies that stigma tells us, how belief systems shape identity, and identifying who you are free of stigma. Part 2: Deconstruct Faulty Belief Systems deconstructs disability stigma and its impact on the self and how it manifests as shame, people-pleasing, perfectionism, learned helplessness, hyper-independence, and the fear of being perceived, and shows how to reframe those beliefs. Part 3: Self-Acceptance and Self-Confidence covers self-acceptance and self-confidence through regulating your nervous system, knowing and accepting yourself and others, and practicing being you. Part 4: Self-Advocacy shows the ways you can advocate for yourself, tune out others’ judgements, deal with resistance, and stay true to yourself in the workplace and in difficult times.
- Together they all form the main idea that as a disabled person your needs are valid and deserve to be respected and that you deserve to live a full life free from the stigma society places on disabled people and that through deconstructing your own stigma you can summon the tools you need to live fully. She greatly supports this idea through weaving each section together into a truly cohesive whole, because you need to realize that societal stigma ingrained into your thought process is a lie, then you need to deconstruct all the faulty belief systems that support that stigma and break them down, then you need to replace those faulty beliefs with affirming beliefs about yourself that boost your confidence in who you are so that you realize that society is broken not you, and finally you need to use that knowledge to advocate for yourself and others regardless of what society thinks. With the ability to advocate for yourself by possessing a core set of affirming beliefs and values about who you are, you are then far more able to stay true to yourself no matter what. With that I am completely convinced that Harris knows what she is talking about because all of the neurodiversity research I’ve read confirms the cycle of internalized stigma which we must break free from.
- How has this book helped you understand the subject? - I wholeheartedly recommend this book to my readers. This book would especially be helpful for people of any kind of disability, whether physical disability, mental illness, or neurodivergence, in helping them unlearn problematic societal beliefs about disability, deconstruct their internalized stigma, and define who they are outside of that stigma and pursue who they really want to be with a healthier sense of self. It would also be hugely beneficial for people of any marginalized backgrounds, mental health and medical professionals, academia, the business world, government workers, and anyone who is open-minded and/or curious towards neurodiversity and disability and wants to learn more about it.
Julie Harris's "Boldly Belong: The Power of Being You in a Disabling Society" is a transformative book offering invaluable insights for disabled individuals to overcome societal stigma and live authentically. Through exploring internalized and externalized ableism, Harris guides readers towards self-acceptance, empowerment, and effective self-advocacy. This book resonates deeply with disabled individuals while serving as an essential resource for anyone seeking to understand and support neurodiversity and disability rights. By challenging societal norms and promoting self-acceptance, Harris's work significantly contributes to the ongoing dialogue about disability inclusion and empowerment. The book's comprehensive approach makes it relevant to a wide audience, from individuals with disabilities to professionals in various fields. "Boldly Belong" stands as a must-read, offering practical strategies and a fresh perspective on living authentically in a disabling society.
