My reflections on returning to work after my second round of parental leave in three years

I’ve seen a number of posts recently from colleagues and connections sharing their personal experiences of juggling their career and family life.? It’s prompted me to reflect on my own recent experiences as a mum, and people leader at PwC, now that I’ve returned to work.

I am so glad to hear so many incredible stories of the support parents are receiving in the workplace in the form of better policies and cultural shifts, and of fathers taking parental leave and taking equal household responsibility in their relationships. As a partner at PwC, I am the beneficiary of progressive policies and culture and have just returned from my second round of parental leave in 3 years.? I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to have time with my 2 boys, and am hugely thankful to my work colleagues, clients and teams for giving me that opportunity and also for welcoming me back to work.??

My own story starts in early 2020 (pre pandemic) when I was 7 months pregnant with my first baby. I was asked to be the people leader for PwC’s Financial Advisory business (a business currently comprising 2600+ people which brings together Deals, Legal, Private Clients, Tax and Energy Transition). The role was newly created and there was no real job description but very broadly it entailed supporting the business with its people strategy and operations.?

Now, given PwC is a people business (they are our number 1, most important, critical, only asset) and I had limited experience in human resource matters (being a tax Partner), I was pretty daunted. Add to that being pregnant, having just moved from Sydney to Perth to be closer to my family, and my husband (a doctor) being one of the first people in Australia to get covid, I was definitely feeling challenged and I didn’t know how it was all going to work.?

I worried about all the things you might expect but broadly, whether I could do a good job in the role and also be the kind of mum I wanted to be but said yes anyway and trusted that we would work it out. And we did. It worked in the way that it always does at a place like PwC - with teaming. An incredible group of people shared my workload on the two occasions I took time out to be a mum (and you will be very relieved to know this includes the most amazing human resources leaders). A huge thank you to Bianca W. , Kelly Mooney , Stacey O'Dea , Tamika Cullen , Joe Short , Warren Dick , Kat Pummell and Megan Fitzgerald to name a few.

Truth be told, at times I felt a bit guilty, anxious and insecure as a partner and business leader to have taken time away from my work, clients and teams.? It isn’t easy to take an extended break from work you are passionate about and an established practice, even when you know exceptionally capable people are taking on your work, and even when you trust that the people you work with will help support you to return. I experienced a huge amount of FOMO as I saw programs of work being implemented that I had strategised but not been able to see to fruition, or clients who had done interesting transactions I didn’t get to advise on.I even weirdly felt pangs of sadness at missing out on following the evolution of various tax law changes. I also felt the insecurity of seeing how well other people could do my job.?

Anytime I felt the guilt and anxiety kick in, I would remind myself that so many parents before me had felt like this about their careers, that there are critically important reasons we want people to be able to take parental leave, and that my experience of taking parental leave and working flexibly while in a leadership role helps not just me and my family, but others who I am able to better understand and represent when making business decisions. I would also look at my food stained track pants and the beautiful and small but intense humans who were taking up 110% of my mental, physical and emotional energy and in my sleep deprived state realise there was no way I could show up to paid work.???

I hope that being honest about my experience on parental leave, including managing the guilt, anxiety and FOMO, I might help to encourage others to take leave, or to support colleagues to take leave in a more caring manner.?

Recently I had a fellow partner tell me they knew they should take extended leave for their mental health but their fear of losing client work gave them too much anxiety which would only exacerbate their mental health challenges. Similarly, I have had male partners tell me they couldn’t take parental leave because it would be too hard to risk losing clients or to rebuild momentum in the market. I am thankful to see an increasing number of male colleagues taking leave over time and hope that continued improvement will come from sharing stories, celebrating different role models, and enabling better teaming.?

It’s so refreshing to see more business leaders understanding, empathising with, and talking about how hard it can be to juggle parenting responsibilities, as well as taking leave when they need it - rather than trying to show up and maintain a perception that everything’s fine.?

Leaders who understand the challenges of daycare and sickness, commuting and getting to work in a clean outfit, the conflicting feelings of loving your kids so much you feel like your heart is beating outside of your body, but also wanting them so badly to go to bed so you can have a small break. Leaders who team with others and ask for help when they need it. Role models.?

Looking back at when I was asked to take on the people leader role, I can see that while I was unqualified in some ways, I had something different to bring, and I hope that the business skills and acumen developed over the course of my career and life experiences have made a difference in the business and strategic decisions I have influenced.?

With that in mind, I wanted to share a few lessons I’ve learned on my last round of parental leave that might be helpful if you’re about to take a period of leave, or for leaders of people who are:

For those taking extended leave

• It’s ok to be replaceable - everyone is to some extent. It gives other people a chance to grow and develop, and enables you to step away and think strategically about where you want to spend your time and energy in the future. If more people were willing to step away, we could reduce anxiety around taking leave, normalise a healthier culture where people could refresh and recharge, and create more space for others to grow and develop.
• I’m not saying anything new here but life is short and you only get one time with children when they are young. Don’t feel guilty about taking the time that feels right for you and your family. Raising humans benefits every one of us in society, not just you. They will be the future taxpayers, providers of essential services, and hey who knows maybe they will be the future researcher who cures cancer… (although at this stage probably not my kid - he’s the one eating playdough at daycare).?
• Give it some time when you get back to work before you make any major decisions.? Returning after extended leave can feel like an extreme case of Sundayitis and it takes time to adjust to new working arrangements and home life. If work arrangements aren’t feeling right after you’ve settled in (give it a couple of months), then have a proactive conversation with your business or people leader and/or teams about what changes you would like to make. If your workplace isn’t supportive, or offering you the challenge and/or flexibility you need, then consider whether other opportunities might be better for you at this time.?
• With home and care arrangements, I’ve learned if it doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t. Be prepared to have honest conversations about how to divide the workload (if you have people who can share it), be clear on your expectations of carers, and be prepared to explore other options. It’s hard, but it shouldn’t have to be soul destroying.?

For business leaders

In the lead up to people taking extended leave and while on leave:

• Built trust with the person taking leave. Involve them in the plan for their cover. Working together you can come up with a plan that ensures they feel included and supported, work responsibilities are managed, and opportunities are given to identified successors for periods of time. This can act as a springboard for them into other roles and opportunities. Having well considered, diverse succession plans for all important roles and client relationships really helps with this.
• Be clear with people who are supporting with work/roles that they are a caretaker, and encourage them to work with the person taking leave on the level of involvement they want to retain (if any), and how they want to communicate with teams and clients.?
• Ask the person taking leave how they want to be connected with, know about, and be involved in. Don’t assume, don’t judge and don’t forget (put reminders in your diary). The little things you do, or don’t do, mean a lot. Make them feel valued, respect their time, and show up. If business decisions are being made which might affect or interest them, then reach out to see if they want to know more or if they have insights to offer.?

Supporting people with their return to work:

• Make a flexible plan, be prepared to present a few options, and be open to changes. For the person on leave, a lot may have changed (not just in the workplace); their confidence, boundaries, responsibilities, home life and family dynamics.? Some people might want and expect to walk back into their old role and responsibilities, others might want a new challenge or a different flexible working arrangement.? Once there is a plan in place, communicate it clearly to teams and clients so it doesn’t come as a surprise when the person walks back in the door.?
• If the person is returning to their former role, make sure they are given clear air to do so.? Ensure the team who has been supporting them are appropriately recognised for their work, and given new challenges and opportunities. Planning for this transition back is just as important as when someone goes on leave.?
• Before they return, make sure that they’ve been invited to team meetings, catch ups and are included on email lists etc ahead of their return. If the person is feeling like an outsider walking back in, then being unintentionally missed can reinforce this feeling.??

In today's constantly changing, more agile and flexible workplace, there is an opportunity to continually reassess how we're working, who does what, and how we can improve processes and practices to ensure we are running successful businesses, with people and teams feeling valued and engaged in meaningful work.?