My Reflection – May 2020

In a typical month, I send a monthly Reflection to my global team. As I reflect back on May, many of my thoughts are focused on what’s happening right now. Normally, I don’t talk about my experiences as they relate to being an African-American man. I try to keep my work life compartmentalized from larger issues. But perhaps that, in itself, is a small part of the problem.

At Microsoft, we strive to create a culture where we can be our best selves, our authentic selves. But you cannot create this culture without acknowledging that for some communities, being our authentic selves means talking about uncomfortable issues, and dealing with emotions – expressing fear, outrage and anger. 

This past week we’ve seen protests throughout much of the U.S., as well as in many cities internationally. Let me be clear when I say that this is a start, but I am, as are much of the African-American community, pissed off! So, I will give you my personal and professional reflection.

Personally, I would ask all of you to examine how you feel when you see the protests, and hear about what’s happening in the world outside of your homes. Ask yourself how all of this makes you feel. I have heard from third parties (news, social media, etc.) that parts of our society are feeling fear and outrage over the protests. Some may say that, “This isn’t the way to promote change.” But where was that level of outrage over a black man being tortured and killed, in broad daylight, by those who swore an oath to “Protect and Serve”? Please realize that what’s happening right now is a response from a community that lives in a place of fear during much of our normal lives.

My parents had “that talk” with me at an early age. The social contract that enables other communities to feel safe, is the same social contract that instills a deep-rooted fear of people who look like me. Looting and the destruction of a police station, as well as the mistreatment of a dog in Central Park, are definitely a break of the social contract that we as a society live by. When will calling the police on a black bird watcher asking a woman to put her dog on a leash or the killing of an unarmed Black man create the same passion by the majority in our society? We want the full power of the federal and state governments to help restore law and order... When will we see the full power of the federal, state, and local governments focused on punishing the "isms" and "phobias"? Not until we start seeing convictions and life imprisonment for the killings of the Mr. Arbery’s or Mr. Floyd’s of our society. 

We’ve talked about the Coronavirus being a great equalizer in that the world has had to collectively deal with the same crisis. Except even in this crisis, communities are not equal. The Black community has seen higher rates of illness, and inequality with access to healthcare and treatment. Furthermore, the economic safety of much of the Black community is disproportionate to what other groups experience. Then when you add fear of safety, on top of fear of health and economic security, you reach a level where the Black community feels as if there is nothing left to lose. There is a saying that HOPE is the last thing that dies! For so many of us, hope has already died leading to desperation, anger, hurt and fear.

People have reached out, commented on my social media posts, and asked – What can be done? My simplest of answers is VOTE!!! Start with voting and pushing the elected officials that you vote for to punish the "isms" and "phobias" with the same severity as other violent crimes. When those officials don't do this, vote them out of office! Some people will vote for a racist or supporter of any of the “isms” because it may not be a priority for them...for other people it would be a disqualifying attribute. My ask is that all of us make this a priority.

 Tougher charges need to be brought against the officer that killed George Floyd. Charges need to be brought against the officers that stood by and watched; the ones that helped hold him down long after he was handcuffed and detained. The men that killed Ahmaud Arbery need a punishment that matches the brutality with which he was killed! I could write a list of names, men and women, that spans years, decades, centuries, who need justice. No more words, action is needed.

From an individual standpoint I would say educate yourselves on what it means to be an ally. Research. Read a book. Talk to your neighbors, your family. Teach your children the why’s of the protests. Yes, it’s hard when your children feel unsafe. Our natural reaction is to assure them, “Everything’s okay.” But is it? Maybe the message is that everything is indeed, not okay for many people in the world. That some are born with a privilege, a separate social agreement, that others do not have simply because of the pigmentation of their skin. Don’t stop having the conversations, sitting in the lack of comfort, until real change and action is made. Please vote for representatives who will work to bring about social change and reform. I have a 1-year old son and I need him to grow up in a better world than this world!

Professionally, I’ll say that maybe I need to talk a bit more. There’s more work to be done to normalize the hard conversations. Last Friday, I had a global Townhall meeting with my organization. Part of my emotional response was anger, which is something I am usually very careful to express. But after last week, and so many days, years, before that, I’ve been angry. I made the choice to talk about some of my feelings and experiences during my townhall.

I’ve also talked before during career roundtables, how I’ve learned to dilute some of my image. To be vigilantly aware of conscious/unconscious bias and how I am perceived by others. This has lead to understanding how to “soften” my image as a large, black man. I am constantly aware of when I need to speak softer, hold parts of my personality back and document everything for my protection. For those of you who know me, that is against my nature. I laugh big, talk big, express myself in a big way. It’s part of who I am as a person. I’ve learned and adapted over the years because being a big voiced, black man can frankly be frightening to others around me. Maybe it’s time to change this! I should not have to adjust who I am to show the impact that I can bring.

Look into Allyship Training. Attend an event where you may be a minority. Check-in with your colleagues and neighbors. Lead with empathy but realize that there are emotions that are hard to deal with. There is not a neat, comfortable way to deal with the fear and rage that so many in the Black community are facing.

I wish I could say that I feel like we’re all in this together. But if I’m honest, it doesn’t feel that way. Our experiences, while being lived side by side, are markedly different. My experiences, the experiences of the Black community, are not the same as other communities. So, while we are all “in this together,” some major work is left to be done until the Black community feels anything but isolated.

We talk about empathy a lot. Right now, we need to find the human connection with each other. As allies to each other, we need to focus on the human beings connected to all our interactions and realize that the experiences another person may be having are not the same as our own. And empathy doesn’t always mean understanding. In fact, a lot of the time empathy means acknowledging that you’ll never fully understand. Empathy can simply mean acknowledging, and validating, someone else’s emotions.

Please lead with empathy. I am fortunate to be a leader in a company like Microsoft who promotes 3 key values (Respect, Integrity & Accountability) in support our mission of : “Empowering every person and every organization on the planet to achieve more”.

Let’s empower each other. Be empathetic. Please be informed.