#8: My Queen Esther Moment at an HR Conference

Today is Purim. For those of you who don’t know what that is, or haven’t yet Google searched, “Why are people walking around (insert major city) in costumes?” I’m happy to share.

Purim is a Jewish holiday that celebrates the unsuccessful attempt of an evil man, Haman, to convince the King of Shushan (a biblical capital of Persia) to kill all Jews. And while this story is eerily similar to current events, I’m not here to talk about that; but rather, to talk about the heroine of this Purim story — Queen Esther — and how just two weeks ago, at Transform HR conference in Vegas, I had my own Queen Esther moment.

TLDR the Purim story:

Esther, before she was chosen out of a lineup to marry the King of Shushan, was just your average gal, unaware of the pivotal role she would soon play in her people’s future. But, when she became Queen, the aforementioned evil man, Haman, entered the picture as one of the King’s advisors. His prerogative was to rid this town of all its Jews and he was a very convincing guy.?

Now, when Esther was chosen to be Queen, her suitor was unaware that she was a Jew ?? Up until this point, Esther hadn’t thought to mention her Jewry; however, when Haman made his evil intentions clear, it became personal. Esther was deathly afraid that upon discovering her identity, the King would turn on her. But it was Uncle Mordechai who encouraged her to speak up and convince the King that he should NOT follow Haman’s advice.

Once the King learned that Esther was a Jew and that Haman’s evil prerogative would mean the persecution of his own wife, he stood by her and the Jewish people ?? The King proceeded to hang Haman, appoint Mordechai as his advisor, and approve a royal edict allowing the Jewish people the right to self-defense.

What do we learn from Esther?

That there are moments in our lives when WE are chosen — by fate, by God, by whatever higher power you may believe in — to do our part, however that might look.

Now, how does this relate to Transform? ?? And no, I am NOT equating the conference or anyone involved in the following story to the evil guy, Haman...it was actually quite a blast and I met a ton of remarkable people.

But one of those character-defining, Esther-like moments happened for me at Transform.

How My Queen Esther moment happened

Day 1 there was a panel called “Gen Z in the Workplace: How Engagement Shapes Retention,” so of course, not only did I show up, but prior to it, I was asked by several attendees/friends if I was ON the panel. After all, I am A Gen Z “Top Voice” and Expert. Unfortunately, I wasn’t, and to my dismay, not one panelist was under the age of 35 (Gen Z is between the ages of roughly 14-27).

Nonetheless, I showed up to this panel with my very own Mordechai, Sally Wolf. Sally and I are close friendtors??and we decided to attend Transform together, even though our applications to speak were rejected this year — but there’s always a reason! And about halfway through it, I wrestled with my inner Queen Esther over whether I should stand up and make my Gen Z voice known.

To move this along, I’m gonna provide a quick timeline with the most important call-outs for the sake of this story:

1. Panel sponsor presents research findings from a quantitative study on Gen Z at work
2. Panelists begin sharing their takes on Gen Z, including:????? Moderator saying, “We need to include them in the conversation” while literally doing the exact opposite.????? Panelist of major company tells a story about a Gen Zer rating himself 5s on a self-evaluation, laughing about it, along with much of the room. Leaving me feeling alienated with MANY questions that I cannot ask (because I’m not on the panel), including, “Did anyone tell him how to conduct a self-eval? What types of rubrics are you providing to explain what a 1-5 looks like in his role? Why are we making jokes at his expense? Why is he not IN the room?”????? Panelist closest in age to Gen Z says, “Gen Z is calling BS on what we do in HR,” which was the most on-point statement the entire 45 mins.
3. I approach panel organizers to inquire about asking a question to the panelists that I felt the packed room needed to hear
4. Panel organizers confirm there WILL be a Q&A, and that I WILL be able to ask a question
5. Panel ends, no Q&A
6. Disappointed, I make my way to speak with the panelists & moderator, expressing my frustration and concern over the lack of Gen Z representation in a conversation ABOUT Gen Z
7. I sit down for the discussion session, sharing my thoughts with fellow attendees as well as Sally, who encourages me to speak when the moderator opens the floor to “takeaways or tactics shared” at our respective tables
8. I take the mic (video ?? )

If you don't have time to watch this 80sec video, you’re missing out. But the point I made was that NOT including Gen Z voices in a discussion ABOUT Gen Z is antithetical to what we want from our leaders and potential employers. We want to be spoken WITH not spoken FOR, and doing the latter is only further eroding trust.

The aftermath of my Queen Esther moment

I wanna reiterate that the point of this piece is NOT to compare the sponsor or anyone else to evil guy, Haman.

Actually, when I pointed out the oversight with organizers and panelists (our “King” in this story), the feedback was met with head nods and listening ears. I couldn’t have asked for a better response - even from Transform, who left the following comment on my LinkedIn post a few days later:?

I share this story to highlight my Queen Esther moment and what it represents.

I could’ve been in Mexico visiting my mom, or sitting at home comfortably in NYC at the time of this conference. But I wasn’t. Not only was I IN the room (my version of on the throne), but I spoke up. In doing so, I risked new & existing relationships, potential partnerships, and my invitation to Transform 2025, to say what mattered — not just for this room and discussion, but hopefully for many others like it.

The reaction by attendees in the room, which included applause, told me that no one disagreed; rather, I had shed a big light on the truth:

A crucial part of holding conversations about a group of people -especially underrepresented ones - is including them IN the conversation.

We all want to feel represented. We all want to have a say in the conversation, especially when it pertains to parts of our identity. Additionally, speaking up like Esther and I did, has a domino effect.

For example, one woman at my table told me that my comment reminded her of a time she attended a “Women in Small Business” conference, only to hear from a keynote speaker of a Fortune 50 company on stage, and felt misrepresented. Another woman pointed to?my post about the Gen Z-less panel?(now 25K+ impressions), and said she'd like to post something similar, about a different panel.

Wrapping it up

If you take anything away from this piece, I hope it’s a feeling of empowerment. Because when your own Queen Esther moment comes — and trust me that it will — you might not feel ready or comfortable, but I hope that you:

1. Know the impact and importance of your actions.
2. Surround yourself with one or several of your own Uncle Mordechais. There’s nothing like having someone by your side, encouraging you to BE YOU, especially in moments when you feel like there’s a lot at stake.

Happy Purim // Chag Purim Sameach ??

xo,

your favorite Gen Z voice