My Process on Money

I feel like in my childhood I’ve gone through many extremes on the idea of money. Growing up and living in various womens homeless shelters as a child, and also being constantly told on what we can’t afford. Then also witnessing that amazing Christmas where my grandmother got me a freaking laptop. And my mother going out of her way to move us into a house that was close to the rich houses.?

I feel like my life has been a cycle of experiencing both sides of the coin so that I can lead everyone to their preferred abundance. However, there’s something that I would like to release. And that’s the idea of survival. I’ve watched myself go from feeling on top of the world financially. To feeling like I gotta go out there and hunt again for my abundance. And i’m done. I’ve had many, many talks with God on this manner and I can see clearly now.?

Most of my life, I’ve been taught that we have to work hard for money. Or earn money based solely on what we do. I’ve noticed that in response to this idea I’ve chosen to believe for most of my life that my abundance is on the other side of my actions. Which made sense when I rationalized it. I have to give to receive. If I put in enough grind, then I can experience what I worked hard for.?

My biggest issue with this is, I am not a hard worker. I don’t enjoy it and I am not what I don’t enjoy. So I lived most of my life with the idea that since I’m not a hard worker, I can’t have my abundance. So pretty much I’m doomed to be poor. Now every once in awhile, I would will myself to working hard. Which was mostly done to pay my bills and be able to provide for my family. This willing myself to work hard even lead to me abandoning my integrity for the sake of survival.?

At times, a question would ponder within me. That question was,?

“Am I doing what I’m doing to change lives, or am i doing what I’m doing because I need the money.”?

My heart would break in disgust every time I found myself wondering about that question. And even more disgust at myself when I felt I was closer to the latter rather than the former.?

There were a few months where with the help of amazing mentors and coaches, I uncapped my potential in how much I can earn. I noticed that with my efforts I started creating more money in a month than I ever thought was truly possible for me before. However there was still a flaw. It was tethered to how much I efforted myself. It was still on the other side of me working, which lead to me feeling like I was in an effort based prison. Now I loved what I did, however, whenever doing it for money would creep in, I’d lose all passion for it and freeze.?

God has been with me throughout this process showing me a different way that I thought was like an emergency blanket at first. There was a time when I was delivering for amazon and I had a stock app pay me hundreds of dollars. I assumed that I got lucky because of how easy and fun it was. I didn’t take it really seriously, just a brief of luck. Then as time went on, I found myself working but somehow some crypto investments I made went up by thousands of dollars. Enough to pay my rent for months. Still, I got lucky, I didn’t really take it serioisly. It was too easy and too fun. I just caught a brief of luck. Time went on, and then another thing popped off. However, this was different. I noticed that I worked hard and created an unheard of amount of money in one month. However, this thing that popped off was literally four times that in one day.?

I started to notice the distinction between pay from hard work, and the pay from being in alignment with abundance. The pay from being in alignment with abundance was infinitely more than the pay from hard work for me. But the pay from being in alignment would come through channels that were difficult to believe as a reliable consistent source of income. I mean these lucky channels can’t always happen right? Sooner or later I believed that the luck would run out. Working hard made more sense to my mind because it was something I could go out there and do. Even if it cost me my happiness.?

This has been difficult and sometimes even scary for me to surrender to. But I have decided to put two feet into aligned pay. I have chosen for my primary focus to be how can I add the most value to the world in a way that fills my cup. And appreciate and receive all forms of abundance that comes my way.?

For I know that I am abundance. And it will follow me in every way that it needs to. I’ll do my part in asking when I feel inspired to and trusting that it will always be there without fail. Which as I look back now, it always has been.?

Abundance is unlimited, however, to help my mind personify it and give it a numerical value. I have a Quintillion Dollars. Or whatever means of money that allows that purchasing power. A Quintillion is a Billion Billions, a Trillion Millions, and a Million Trillions.?

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I like what I like, and I‘d like to have a 2022/2023 Tesla Model 3 Long Range. This has been quite an interesting manifestation for me because I’ve gone so back and forth between hard work pay and aligned pay. Or what I sometimes call, battle dollars and freedom dollars. At first I was going to just go get a loan for it. My credit feels pretty strong so I just went and applied and figured it would be easy. Turns out, I was denied the loan for over $60,000. Financially, I knew I could afford the down payment and the monthly. But for other considerations they said no. I stood in that Tesla store so embarrassed and confused. Quite literally humiliated to a degree.?

I talked about my Tesla experience with Onto. My friend on a different planet. And he mentioned some valid points. His points were that I always go about getting things I want alone and in private without asking the community for help or sharing my process in getting it. He’s right. I’ve always felt like asking the community for help with something like a luxury car that I wanted is selfish, ungrateful, and weak because I can’t get it “myself”. To Onto’s point, I don’t feel much different today. But I am willing to change.?

The idea that was presented to me was a race. A race of who can get me the Tesla the fastest. Can I get it “myself” first? Or can Community come up with a way that gets me the Tesla first. My methods are, playing the lottery everyday, and creating any speaking and/or coaching opportunities that would pay me significantly. I plan to pay for it cash all at once. I’m taking it with a grain of salt because everything I do, I’m careful that I enjoy doing it and I’m serving others first. Then receiving and appreciating however the abundance follows that.?

As far as community, however you want to support me in getting the Tesla is up to you. I’m open to if Onto is right and God has additional funnels for me that I may not know of. I’m enjoying this process because everything I learn from this, I’m sharing with the world.?

This has been my money process and it is definitely an ongoing creation. My biggest value points are;

1. We are all unlimited abundance
2. We get to experience that abundance anyway that we enjoy. If we like the grind, we can create it that way. If we like it with no grind and ease, we can also create it that way. Both ways are perfectly valid and ok. We get to choose our favorite way.?
3. We deserve to have what we want. Some people like the simple life and simple living on a quiet piece of land. Some people like the multi million dollar mansions in the fast paced cities. Some people like me like to have a bit of both. We can have whatever we desire. And we deserve it because we exist as perfect reflections of God.?
4. A sure fire way to always experience abundance is to cause another to experience abundance.?
5. I believe that the sweetest form of abundance is in loving soul filling relationships.?
6. It is God’s pleasure to give you the entire kingdom. God wants you to be rich in your way.?

I love you all. Thank you for taking the time to read this and join me on this journey. I know that you will always,?

Stay Blessed.?