My problem with the N-Word

I can remember in my uni days, in the early 2000s, where hip hop and R’n’B was pretty much the soundtrack to everyone’s lives. You couldn’t move in the clubs for hearing the N-word in all the songs.

Even back then it wasn’t a word I could use. I was brought up being told that it’s the worst word I could use. There highest insult to Black people, especially after hearing the experiences that my family had and being on the receiving end of this word.

It was incomprehensible to my grandparents and my mum that there were songs using the N-word, being sung by Black people. 

It has been argued that by us using the word, we can take it back, but was it ever ours to take and have we really done anything to change the meaning of the word? 

When I think about some of the usages I have seen, in films for example. There are good Black men but in the pejorative they’re all the N-word. It’s not reinforcing anything positive, it gives credence to using the word in this context. 

In music not only are we perpetuating our oppression but we are giving permission for others to use it when they sing along. 

There is no excuse to use it. The word has been created to denigrate, demean and belittle us. 

We haven’t taken it and radically changed its meaning. We know this is possible, if we look at the development of language. Through repeated use in the same context, a word can transcend its original meaning, but this hasn’t happened in this case. When there are still negative connotations attached to the word, we still embody its original purpose, to insult and demean. 

When a non-Black person uses the N-word, it feels like a full lash that deeply cuts the skin and leaves a wound. We feel the full hit of the insult that it’s meant to be. 

I know people are going to say but what about when Black people use it? The lash might not be as loud but the cut is just as deep. 

When the meaning of the word has not been elevated, neither can its effect. 

The N-word first appeared in writing in 1619 in the US to describe Black people and even back then through over 200 years use, as documented by Freedman's Journal, the first Black national newspaper, we as Black oriole began to use it as a way to insult each other. We understood its meaning and intention. We internalised and then took it into our verbiage to hurt each other.

And this isn’t just an English language problem. The N-word was also incorporated into other languages. I will take German as an example, the N-word equivalent wasn’t used once again until the 1600s and again in a limited way to describe and insult the Enslaved and in due time became a standard way to describe anything Black, be it types of bread, chocolates or dolls. 

 So in the end, just like a virus, this word has spread, it doesn’t matter what language it is. 

When used as a means to attack us, we know why. When its casual use is allowed, we also know why. There is no such thing as accidental use and not knowing its impact. It is used to do damage.

And when it is used to apparently enlighten us, well it was never our word in the first place. It takes a universal change of use to make the meaning change.

Its history is painful and deliberately damaging, so the most powerful way to remove its power, is to stop its usage.

In the words of James Baldwin ‘I am not your Negro’. No one’s. Not now and not ever.