My Plea to Detroit: Less Tech, Please

I once ranted that the only thing I wanted in a "smart" TV was Bluetooth. I was only half kidding. But carmarkers are going down the same road as some TV set manufacturers by bloating their products with too much of the wrong tech, adding expense and complexity that we do not need.

"Smart" has become an overused modifier for devices that are better off dumb. Do you really need a connected refrigerator that tells you to buy milk and streams music?

You aren't going to be forced to buy a smart fridge. There are too many other choices. But if automakers aren't stopped they will install useless, redundant technology as standard equipment for you will have to buy, maintain and even keep paying subscription fees to justify the existence of something you didn't need in the first place.

Consider today's news of Ford's latest attempt to market an in-dash tech system. Let's leave aside the safety discussion about whether the driver should be messing around with pinch-to-zoom multitouch screens and looking for entertainment while operating a massive vehicle at highway speeds. Let's also concede that voice control addresses much of the safety concern and that the quiet, serene environment that is a car interior is made for that kind of interface.

I'm still stuck on a basic question: What cabin technology can an automaker build into a car that I can't bring myself, more cheaply? What I need, still, only, is Bluetooth and a comfortable seat for my smartphone, which is as smart as can be and always with me.

There's ample history to push back against so-called tech advancement in cars.

In the year 2000 President Clinton opened up the satellite GPS tracking system to anybody at a resolution of down to 10 meters. That 10-fold improvement suddenly made military-grade tech practical for your family car. Companies like Garmin and Magellan, which had been catering to sporting folk, found a new market. And newcomers like TomTom and Dash got into the game.

As a chronic early adopter I have owned several stand-alone GPS units and have always resisted buying $2,000 in-dash GPS because I could always get $200 on-dash equivalents. And then smartphones became the only GPS device you needed, reducing the cost to about zero while also making the device infinitely portable. Goodbye Garmin.

Carmakers merely co-opted a good idea, charging us a stiff premium for what it presented as essentially style choice. Remember that theme ...

Several automakers tout that their cars are "Pandora ready." Who cares? Pandora is only one of more than 100 streaming music services, has fewer than half the subscribers of Spotify and about a million fewer songs than major rivals. And — oh yeah — Apple recently got into the game with a native iPhone service that oddly enough looks and feels exactly like its more established predecessors.

Detroit has also discovered hotspots and thinks it's doing you a favor building that into your next car. GM and Ford, the Wall Street Journal reports, are convinced "technology offerings are increasingly important to new car buyers. A total of 38% of those buying domestic vehicles cite the latest technology features as a reason for their purchase, according to a recent survey by automotive consultants J.D. Power and Associates."

Sigh. Here's an opportunity for you to pay for yet another data plan, in addition to the one you use at home and the one you use on your phone. Or, instead, you can remember that your phone is a 4G hotspot, and that some plans don't charge you more to use it. Want something even more robust? Get a MiFi for a hotspot that you also don't have to leave in your car and has excellent battery life.

I'm a little less sure that OnStar has outlived its usefulness. This service — which pre-dates the GPS and mobile phone revolution — is a uniquely human-powered concierge service that many will find valuable for that kind of piece of mind. But if a panic button is all you need, it's probably overkill. Plus, they are serious boosters of Bluetooth, so good for them.

Instead of adding to sticker shock with shiny things Detroit should take a look at what appliance companies like GE and Whirlpool are doing. Connected appliances leverage the smartphone their designers very safely assume you already have. So your smart oven won't remind you that it's your anniversary, but it will respond to a command to pre-heat that you might send as you leave the supermarket.

Like appliance makers, automaker need to realize that the smartphone has become the ultimate universal remote and gateway that they cannot and should not try to improve upon. Save the innovation for under the hood — and for making the cabin as smartphone friendly as possible.

Are you among the 38% J.D. Powers say are enticed by "technology offerings" or does your car still have roll-up windows? Are you in the auto industry and convinced that in-cabin tech is the future?