My Perspective on Defining Myself

A couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to listen to Carla Harris. A strong and well established woman, leader and motivational speaker who somewhat suggests keeping all elements of your personality with you at all times. In other words, you don’t have to separately define yourself as a singer, writer or a professional. I agree with her as defining yourself with all traits or talents that you have is powerful & enriching. If you start seeing yourself from that lens, the opportunities to resonate & connect with others just become ten-folds because it’s easy to bond when you have something in common with others. 

With a natural affinity to such inspiring messages, I’ve been thinking what talents could be my traits and if any of my hobbies, my interests could be considered as my talents. What do I have that can help me to connect with others??

And just like that, with that thought, I started observing how I operate on daily basis, what kind of energy my actions create around me, what do people spot in me as my trait or talent. Quite surprisingly, I realized that I don’t start my day as a professional and I didn’t see her in me ending the day either. I am simply a woman in those moments of the day.

1.      In the morning, I start by making sure things are in order for me and the family for that chaos that is becoming a norm, despite well planned breakfasts, alarm clocks, and backpack checks. So in essence, with a well thought out plan, I’m running all checks and controls in my mind for a desired outcome with multiple stakeholders (husband, two children of different ages, different gender) with different tastes & needs. And then there are variables of something going wrong at last minute, running out of something that wouldn’t cross their mind for weeks but they need it there and then (pro-active risk planning and instant control on a rising issue). Believe me, it’s no less than a risk because a burnt toast or too hot milk might not be something that would appeal my stakeholders on that day. Let’s not forget, I need to give time to myself as well. Because If I fall behind, everything falls apart or it seems that way. Now, all this fits into my morning routine of maximum 2 hours. Talk about aggressive timeline, phew! Everyone is out of the door somehow on time and leaves with a smile. Mission accomplished! Daily morning production rating – Satisfactory!

2.      Now I’m on the road, sometimes driving like a road warrior or sometimes with little more patience. Let’s think of driving factors for one scenario and for other it would be just opposite of that. While driving I am reflecting on my start of the day experience to figure out room for improvement next morning. My young stakeholder’s dis-satisfaction would upset me more because that’s where my maximum interest is. That’s where I need better satisfaction score. Other stakeholders know what to expect but the young ones would make you realize of new baseline mostly because the environment around them is changing so fast. Their work is more critical than others. But let’s not underestimate the importance of my seasoned stakeholders since customer retention is very important for growth. So project 2 (driving) is contingent upon output of project 1 and new variables in the mix (traffic, weather etc.) Talk about dependencies and overall impact on my program. Let’s assume I still score and reach to my next stop in a cheerful mood. Outcome- Satisfactory.

3.      Enter another environment, work. With my first step in the door, I generally try to forget the experience of my projects 1 and 2 completely because now the projects have completely different parameters, no sentimental value, no control and sometimes no clarity on what my role is. But somehow it’s still very familiar. Multiple stakeholders, variables, corrective and reactive action planning and oh yes! No common goal is another issue that I deal with mostly. And keep in mind; I don’t call all the shots here. Let’s still assume I am lucky to score the same here as well.

4.      Now on my way back to home, I’m running a list of things to do. Same time crunch, competing priorities. And yes, I manage to score again.

5.      Wrapping up the day is very similar to starting the day. So I won’t bore you with reflection or review of my project #5 or 2 B as you are pretty familiar with it now.

I’m sure my day is no different than other women. With all this, do I need another talent to connect with you or do you think we have enough in common? And does it tell you about my multiple traits of playing different roles, juggling different priorities, satisfying multiple stakeholders with varying interests and still assessing myself at a satisfactory level because I hold myself to a higher standard. Does that show my resilience, confidence? Hope you see that being a woman makes us so proficient in multiple skills without any formal education. Isn’t that a talent that I learn from my day to day life? Isn’t this a great self-learning capability? 

I guess I agree with what Carla says but then just being a woman should define me, speak volume about what I am capable of doing. I wear my heart on my sleeves to some extent but keep in mind; I am no less than an Iron woman. If you have small ask of me to burn the midnight oil in crunch time, to go extra mile, bring my A game, step up to the mark then scrub up! I do all that naturally because being a woman; I’ve all that ingrained in me.