My personal opinion for fliers

The last flight that I took was less than memorable. I landed in Sao Paulo with my family after a missed flight in Washington DC and I carried a very distinctive odor of sweat and stress. I’m not sure if anyone else noticed, but I certainly did and it was not comfortable. I am the kind of guy that shaves every day, and I arrived with a two-day shadow and bags under my eyes to go along with the smell. One more thing, the same clothes, for 48 hours, is not good. I literally wore all my same items during the whole time. You could say that I was fetid, foul-smelling, funky, rancid, foul, with a stench and reeking.

Keep your shoes on

I usually take off my shoes on a plane and I know that I shouldn’t. When I go to put them on in the morning, it is always hard to do so because my feet are swollen. I certainly do not put them on the chair in front of me. I would never do that. But I am sure that I emit some smell when I take them off during the flight. This is a big fight for me. My head knowledge does not agree with my comfort.

Patchouli might not be your best option

In truth, everything is a stinky smell to somebody. I have a student that thinks that bananas have a terrible smell and I don’t like when my wife cleans her nails. The chemical she uses is terrible and strong. Maybe you have gotten into the elevator after a person wearing too much perfume or cologne left. It is not a comfortable situation. I would not tell you to wear nothing, but try not to wear something too strong when you are traveling, especially on a plane or a train.

What’s good for your belly might not be good for your seatmate’s nose

Boring food should be banned. Eating something that tastes like paper is not fun. But when you are on a plane, your favorite flavorful food might be a bit too much. My children enjoy a particular brand of chip that comes in several flavors. I admit that they are delicious. But when you eat them, everyone knows. The scent comes out of your nose and mouth and is even on your fingers. Going spicy is a little dicey sometimes. I remember sitting in a restaurant in Portland, Maine with my wife. The table next to us ordered this huge fried onion dish. It is delicious, I know this to be true, but the dressing they used with it smelled like old wet shoes. My wife was a little loud about the smell. It was a funny moment for us. Imagine that on a plane.

Don’t be a lush

My kids were watching an airport program on TV that showed what some security officers have to go through when passengers drink too much. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I am not a drinker of alcohol, but I have been to some gatherings or the beach when people near me could hardly stand on their feet. Imagine this on a plane. Try to save your joy for when you arrive at your destination. In some countries, you could even be put in jail for public drunkenness or even for having a smell of alcohol. In Brazil, the drinking and driving rules are very strict. There is zero tolerance. Make sure you are in the clear before you rent your car at the airport.

Your best friend is in a lockable closet

I hate to sit near the lavatories on a plane. They are loud and people often bump into you. The worst part is when the door opens. You get to experience what they got to experience. We are all human, that is true, and the bathroom is the best place to take care of your business. I guess that it is better there than in another location on a plane. Planes make us gassy. This is a normal trait of flying. And don’t forget your baby. Most lavatories have a folding changing table. That is a great place to change a diaper.

Watch your body language, talking and body movements

Most of us have sat near children or traveled with our own. This is a complicated but understandable inconvenience at times. If you can keep them from disturbing fellow passengers, you deserve the parent of the year award. It is a little harder to forgive an adult that does the same thing. Tapping, banging, snoring, loud yawning and constant loud talking are obnoxious. Don’t be the seatmate that won’t shut up. A simple hello is nice, and then you can observe the situation a little. Your fellow passenger might be exhausted. Don’t be the nightmare in their life and the annoyance for everyone on the plane.

Enjoy your next plane ride and remember to take an extra set of clothes in your carry-on bag. I learned this valuable lesson and still carry the memories of this adventure. Ride with pride and be the best passenger you can be. Everyone with appreciate it and your conscience will be free.

Christopher DeLong