My personal fight against Dementia of my wife from last 04 years?Request your suggestions or doctors advises please?

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Dear Global friends,

I am writing my personal experiences of last 04 years of a fight against Dementia as my wife is suffering from it and let me confess that researchers, scientists, doctors and the organisations those are contributing in this fight against Dementia, Forgetfulness and Alzheimer are doing indeed a great service to the humanity as it is most painful for the family members and the nears & dears to see a person who was so full of life, full of energy and use to enjoy each moment with every one & concerned for the well being of all with no bias is suffering from this deadly disease as any moment the reaction of the patient changes in a unique way as patient forgets what done last in short span. It is difficult to make out or preempt what is there in store for you to deal with it and what is going to be the reaction, so it takes time to learn how to deal with such patient with care & concern needed. If you feel that you are dealing with it most humanly with the best of mannerism to be practiced in that moment with an utmost personal touch or concern being your wife for the last 40 years, you will find that it has gone against your entire imaginations as reaction goes totally in a different way and more you react with the same concern it keep going in a different way. Though, other times you don't anticipate and thing goes in a best way as the life was as usual before it.So, you have to read a lot about this disease & the latest updates on it and keep preparing yourself do deal with it each day with that of a precaution as to deal with it and definitely following what doctors have suggested and prescribed. We have taken doctors opinion from 03 different teams comprised of neuro physicians, psychologists & behavioral experts from 03 reputed hospitals & privately practicing and zeroed in a treatment that was recommended by all of them with a concluded treatment design & procedure arriving on it. Sometimes you feel that you are burdened and why you are punished by the God as such an important person in your life is suffering with it, having this feeling of a sympathy on you do not help you rather goes against. So, Getting emotional as she is your wife is also of no use but certainly it helps ultimately if you are consistent in dealing with all the situations passionately having emotional touch & love in dealing as you develop lot of passions to deal with her or him anxieties that has unimagined fluctuations or sometimes insecurities that has never been encountered and not existing. So, you must not look for a sympathy on you and also not towards her / him as ultimately you must understand that you are dealing with a patient finally. So,You have to have a calibrated reaction, keep working on how you engage so that the person / patient is ready to participate most willingly in a meaningful communication & activities and does certain exercises mentally as well as physically each day that are prescribed, give medicines without fail on time and ensure proper rest & nice sleep, nutritious food at proper times and maintaining hygiene is of vital importance.The outings and the meeting relations frequently, especially the close family members & friends is always helpful as my wife love my grandson and my sons the most & the daughter-in-law and she follows whatever they say to her and it has taken nealy 02 years since she has been co-operating to my instructions with love and respect completely as earlier she was taking it for granted. So, a lot of improvement has taken place now with nearly 90 % recovery and we are grateful to the almighty that it was never been to a stage where we have to resort to a medical assistance or a nurse assistance though I had to give up my job to take care of her on 24X7 basis though certainly by the assistance of a domestic help 24x7. I am writing this post to look towards the professionals and doctors advises globally for the best opinion on this subject if they can share their experiences or advises to me at my email it [email protected] or at my whatsapp mobile 9958383293. I am also volunteering myself to this cause in India & globally if I can be of some help as I share my experiences or provide feedback if some doctor or a scientist needs it or looking for or to an organisation / NGO / Civil Society that is dealing with such patients or helping them in this cause.

My suggestions to help the families and the people those are dealing with Dementia, Forgetfulness and Azarmehr of their near & dear ones are the following:

1. Please treat the person as a patient but with the same love & affection or respect that you had in your relationship or friendship before the disease but certainly not with a sympathy or doing a favour to her / him or you look for as if you are doing a great job. So, remain normal as you were before.
2. Never say she or he (The patient) can not do what they desire or say to do and when they have difficulty in doing the same( as constraints are there for comprehension in time & space to understand for the patient and in skills performing the task she or he was doing earlier from this disease ), assist them and get the job completed as they desire and whatever way they do but no attempt to make them realise it. Appreciate it in a normal way and no superlative comments but a suggestion that how one can improve doing it next time.
3. The Medicines and mental & physical exercises in time as prescribed by the doctors and maintain a close presence nearby so that you interact wholesomely and engage in meaningful communication and share jokes in your daily routines.Keep calendrers and wall clocks in each room and before toilet so that the patient is having a consciousness to time & space.
4. Keep taking doctors opinion and blood check ups regularly so that you are always with the best of medicines in time and following diet as suggested by a dietician. Monthly medical check ups are suggested without fail if not earlier.
5. Keep meeting the demands what a patient say in terms of putting on clothes, going for shopping or make up or to meet some family members or friends. Outing are must to ensure a change in surroundings.
6. Keep showing with photographs of the past and keep on remembering the past incidents the beautiful experiences and make sure that there is no depression as such patient falls with it quite regularly. So, you need to break this chain and improve with sustained efforts indulging the patient in some activities at that time when you find she or he is low in esteem or mood fluctuation is there.
7. I shall further improve upon on this post as recollect some more inputs analysing my thought process please. You also share your comments as we can serve better such patients and serve them globally with a connectivity.