My peregrination with the UNKNOWN

It was 17 years ago that my tryst with Ms Rashmi Aiyappa and Aashwasan began. The journey was not straightforward; it was full of twists and turns. I would take one step forward and then retract two steps back. The road was long and meandering. Two decades have passed by, but it seems like an eternity.?

Today I feel like a stranger to the me of yore 17 years back. Like anybody else, my ties with the KNOWN were then potent. I relied on tried and tested models; having done it before was paramount. I hesitated to venture into the new. New experiences were always preceded by intense trepidation. Fear, anxiety, strangeness and sadness were ever present. Outwardly I was talented; people applauded my acute intelligence, but deep within, I did not feel the smartness. I felt dumb, inadequate, and incapable of navigating the vagaries of the world.

I did not know it then, but truth be told, the KNOWN cage had incarcerated me. Fear of the future held me in its grasp and created strange inertia within me. I was very comfortable in my comfort zones. During those days, I thought it was the truth, and the mere existence of a comfort zone was bewildering.?

Layers and layers of dust and conditioning had so clouded my inner being that even I could not see who I was. I was a numb, sad, directionless, purposeless, lost soul.?

It was then Rashmi came into my life, and Aashwasan happened. It is challenging to elucidate the overwhelming travails in words, for how can mere words encapsulate a journey so profound and breathtaking. The canvas of infinity was going to be painted. Paeans to eternity were going to be sung. A lot has happened since then. During the ups and downs, Rashmi has always stood by me. She was an anchor, a rock solid foundation that never allowed me to sink within. Words would not be sufficient if I were to encapsulate my journeys, but within two influential happenings lies my entire existence in the last 17 years. The UNKNOWN has become my friend. I no longer dread the UNKNOWN, for now, I know that it is a gift from the universe. When you do not expect, when you revel in the vagaries of the future and accept whatever will unfold with equanimity, you allow the universe to play its role with you. I now know it and experience it day after day. Gone are the fears, gone is the anxiety, gone is the sadness. There is a calm, peace in its place that is ever present. I also now know that Love is not just a verb but also a noun. The state of Love is a state of absolute connection to the universe. And when Rashmi says, 'Love is where it begins..." I start to get a glimpse of what she means.?

On this beautiful day, Ms Rashmi Aiyappa's birthday and the birthday of Aashwasan, I want to offer my deepest gratitude and heartfelt thanks. Rashmi, you made my life, and I will be indebted for lifetimes to come. You have bestowed the gift of eternity on me, and yet my journey has just begun. You have shown me the path to myself and unveiled my most genuine potential. You believed me when nobody did. You saw a spark when all I could espy was darkness. I was trying, impossible even, at times. You enticed me, coaxed me, and sometimes even shook me harshly, but you never left my side.?

Every birthday has a return gift. But anything that I do or give will be inadequate compared to the infinity of grants I have received from you. Your gentleness, generosity, courage, and steadfastness have shaken me beyond and yonder. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for fearlessly standing for what is right. Thank you for being that pinnacle of life.

Happy birthday Rashmi Aiyappa. Happy birthday Aashwasan!